Sex clubs

[Battytwatty]

DH and I want to spice up,our sex life and are tempted to join a club that’s in the next town to us. I was wondering if anyone on here is a member of a club like this and what we could expect? This is all very new to us and we have had big discussions about what we are comfortable doing etc.

Thank you

First of all, the people that go don't call them sex clubs. Swing clubs yes. You need to find a club that doesn't insist you dress down on arrival. That way you can sit in the bar all night and just get a feel for the place.

Wear something you may wear for a night out. A little black dress. Something you would feel sexy in.

If you are feeling brave undress to you underwear. Some sexy lingerie will make you feel part of the crowd. Then you can go and explore. Watch. Find a private lockable room, or a open room.

Don't be scared to chat to people. If you are not ready for anything more a polite "thanks but we are just enjoying our own company tonight" works well.

@GentlemanJay

First of all, the people that go don't call them sex clubs. Swing clubs yes. You need to find a club that doesn't insist you dress down on arrival. That way you can sit in the bar all night and just get a feel for the place.

Wear something you may wear for a night out. A little black dress. Something you would feel sexy in.

If you are feeling brave undress to you underwear. Some sexy lingerie will make you feel part of the crowd. Then you can go and explore. Watch. Find a private lockable room, or a open room.

Don't be scared to chat to people. If you are not ready for anything more a polite "thanks but we are just enjoying our own company tonight" works well.

But they are sex clubs, why would calling it swing clubs make it any different. Not everyone that goes to a swing club may want to engage, or participate.

@GentlemanJay. Thanks for responding and happy to be corrected.
I want to take it very slow and don’t want to feel like we have to participate in anything before we are ready.
My other issue is that I’m not very body confident especially after having children so even getting down to underwear might be an issue for me initially.

[quote Battytwatty]@GentlemanJay. Thanks for responding and happy to be corrected.
I want to take it very slow and don’t want to feel like we have to participate in anything before we are ready.
My other issue is that I’m not very body confident especially after having children so even getting down to underwear might be an issue for me initially.[/quote]
I have a female friend on "the scene". She'd been talking about going to a club for a long time. She had all the same reservations as you. I explained to her that clubs weren't as "glamorous" as she imagined. Nor were the people. Last month she visited her first one. She messaged me to say all her pre conceived ideas had been blown apart.

Give it a try. Stay clothed. Sit in the bar. You don't need to do anything.

@GentlemanJay
That’s definitely given me some reassurance, thank you.
Just waiting for the club to email me back re membership and will take it from there …eek!

I go to Killing Kitten parties every couple of months.

The Kabaret party last Wednesday involved pre-drinks at a local bar, a burlesque show and dinner. There were over 150 guests. I wore a little black dress and a corset with stockings underneath. I took a lace gown to cover up for trips to the loo or bar. Clutch bag with condoms, lube, wet wipes and breath mints.

Some people stay dressed all evening, others get naked as soon as the show finishes. There's no expectations or pressure to do anything you don't want to.

I had a dance and chatted with my friends then played with DP. He kept his tux on the whole time! I got a round of applause for twirling my nipple tassels whilst bouncing up and down in his lap! 😂 It was all very good humoured and fun. Party ended at 0230 and a group of us went for a Chinese meal in Soho.

Good luck with your local club. Let us know how you get on. x

[quote Battytwatty]@GentlemanJay
That’s definitely given me some reassurance, thank you.
Just waiting for the club to email me back re membership and will take it from there …eek![/quote]
Keep us updated please. I'd like to know how it pans out. Remember, it won't be what you expect. Never is.

@PinotPony
That sounds really fun, not scary at all. We are up north so wouldn’t be able to attend killing kittens unless there is something similar up here. I will look into it. I just don’t want to accidentally go to something really seedy

@GentlemanJay.
I will definitely update, thanks again. You have all been so helpful x

[quote Battytwatty]@PinotPony
That sounds really fun, not scary at all. We are up north so wouldn’t be able to attend killing kittens unless there is something similar up here. I will look into it. I just don’t want to accidentally go to something really seedy[/quote]
I'm up north two. I can give you a heads up on the clubs round here. I've been to most of them.

They are not glamourous as another poster mentioned. Usually a bar area downstairs,lounge,some have pool tables. Decor is mostly cheap and shabby. Three types of people,middle aged couples, peacocks(young gym fit who only swing with similar) and hoardes of single(ahem) men wandering around forlornly. Don't go with high expectations.

This is a analogy. Lol.

I'd love to do this with my DP but just think I'd be too jealous in reality. Which is a real shame

@cosmicbabe
I think in the past, this might have been an issue for us but we have been together a long time now and the jealousy seems to have gone. I have told him that I’d be really turned on watching him getting a BJ off another woman. Basically we are comfortable with each other playing with the opposite sex but draw the line at kissing and PIV

It's my experience from going to a couple of different clubs. 95% of the people were not that attractive.

It's my experience from going to a couple of different clubs. 95% of the people were not that attractive.

I concur, I'm not some kind of body fascist but I found most of the people at these clubs not terribly attractive.

Clubs echo exactly the cross section of people out and about.

Anyway let people decide for themselves if they fancy others or not. Personally is a very attractive trait. When you start chatting to folk they will become more or less attractive.

Maybe it's an age thing. That's how it works for me.

I suppose if you dont find 95% of the population attractive you wont find 95% of the people in a swinging club attractive who ever is hosting

Dsis went to a KK party and thought it was crap

@MrsBerthaRochester

They are not glamourous as another poster mentioned. Usually a bar area downstairs,lounge,some have pool tables. Decor is mostly cheap and shabby. Three types of people,middle aged couples, peacocks(young gym fit who only swing with similar) and hoardes of single(ahem) men wandering around forlornly. Don't go with high expectations.

Sounds grim. I was imagining them to me more like a convivial village get-together, with less clothing.

Years back I read a news article about a person whose stately home was hired by an entertainment company. They put on a masqued ball and everyone was dressed up splendidly. If I remember the news report correctly, at midnight a bell tolled, and everyone started ripping off each others' clothes and getting down to business. That sounds preferable.

Horrified owner called the police who, of course, told him that it was none of their business.

I've been a few times. Ime people absolutely refer to them as sex clubs. Can't see why they wouldn't, and they are not limited to "swinging".

Many have "no unaccompanied men" nights, those are better nights to go.

Don't expect some beautiful woman, or any woman, to want to give your husband a BJ for your entertainment. IME, you find couples who want to play with couples, women who want to play with women and men who want to shag anything. Women who want solo play with random men are pretty rare to be honest (not called unicorns for nothing!).

But, the clubs are fun. You always have something to talk about to people you meet, you don't have to do anything at all of course. Do check their dress/undress code before you go. Your body confidence will be boosted by it I think.

We go to them. We always refer to them as sex clubs. We call our friend group that we go with "the dirty sex club gang". We HATE the term swinging. Maybe it's the clubs we go to but I dont recognise these descriptions of scruffy decor. The attractiveness of clientele depends massively on which club you go to and on which night. Generally the younger the crowd, the more attractive. We went to a young persons night at xtasia in west brom last Saturday and the crowd was as attractive as any club you would go to. Some stunning people and some average. I had sex with a couple of people Saturday. Which is pretty unusual for me these days. We normally take it back to our hotel. I have had sex with up to 5 men in one night there but we dont go on single guy nights anymore as they are a pain in the ass. Most are married and cheating or just downright desperate

I have always dreamed of doing something like this but i dont think my fella would be interested. I get excited at the thought of sleeping with another man (I only had one previous partner before current one) as its been a long time and as im now a middle aged woman im not sure any men would find me attractive. Should I go with a female friend to one of these clubs for a giggle? like on a girls night out? ...... would anyone on here take me?...

@Melkam PM'd you