Introducing toys with a new partner

[HaggisBurger]

In a new relationship with a lovely guy (both in our mid40s) and we have a great time in bed. He does seem to be fairly conservative / reticent about sex and so on (not mentioned anal etc tho comfortable with general vanilla, oral etc and great sex drive / libido.

I know in theory if I’m intimate with someone enough to have sex I should be able to say anything …but I struggle with ways to suggest we intro toys without him feeling that it’s him that’s lacking.
It’s just I really like toys.
Men - how best would you like to hear that? Do most men not get turned on by the idea of using toys on / with women?
I had a bad experience in a short relationship with a guy who when I mentioned it said in a sneery / defensive way “well, if that’s what you need to get off ….”
I’m on my period this weekend and wondered if that might be a way to suggest something new. I don’t know if that makes it worse….
Any thoughts / experiences gratefully received.

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Everyone will be different.

Personally I’d find it quite exciting …….. to begin with but if toys were used a lot of the time i think i’d get a bit meh.

Maybe say I’d love it if you used my favourite toy with me…

Personally I’d take that as a good sign and welcomed it when one GF did that with me. Another thing I really like though is when I know that my female partner masturbates, and the two in a sense go together.

My DP just bought a new vibe...old one was ahem...rather noisy!. Not seen it yet but we have a night away tomorrow and plan to give it a thorough test. Maybe not every man's cup of tea but personally i love using one on my better half...

My perspective isn't, perhaps, the best one as I introduced toys to my DW and the reason why I did was to ease the burden on me (I was exhausted and my libido was flagging). But it worked, and they've been a shared activity ever since.

The most I can suggest is that (cliche) they're just another form of power tools. Also, something like a clitoral toy (ir, v different function to a cock) might be a good place to start.

But perhaps advice from women who introduced toys to men, what worked and what didn't, might be more useful.

I tend to use vibeys mainly for solo play, the needs and sensations are so different.

But aside from that, l just open the top drawer and show them.

Thanks all! And male thoughts just as welcome.

@StarlightLady sadly we are 99% of the time at his (hurrah for child free home owning men 😂) due to my living situation/ separation. I have to have deliberately brought stuff to his …

I enjoy variety in bed but not as easy like the OP to discuss. However, it is easier when in the throws of passion and know that he is. I did this once when I was giving him a very slow and intense BJ and in between just said " I love doing this but would be nice having something in my pussy whilst I'm pleasuring you" which led onto him acquiring a vibrator. I hadn't told him I had one at my place lol.

I know me telling him that was welcome as he immediate started cumming so had to start swallowing quickly.

Finding the right vibrator wasn't as easy as he didn't ask me!

Does he know you use toys? I have introduced them over text with a post use photo and something along the lines of "thinking of you..."

I'd love it if my new partner suggested new things.

@namechangeyorkshire … I kind of channeled your approach. Has a couple of post coital conversations about what things turned us on, fantasies etc. I mentioned me lying flat on my front with him on top (one of our favourite positions) with me using a vibe out clit so I could have a blended orgasm. He seemed well up for thought. Thought I’d plant the seed rather than whipping out the vibe then and there though I did have it in my overnight bag ..
In general thought it was a great couple of nights stay really opened up to talking more about sex (rather than just doing lots of it) and tried some new things.
Thanks for all the advice & thoughts