Can't face having sex or dating again thanks to stretch marks

[Maria53]

I put on a significant amount of weight after a bad break up. I ended up with these horrible stretch marks covering half my stomach (biggest one is 7 inches) - this time last year, they were more red/purple but I feel my stomach is wrecked.

I'm in my late 20s and cant even say this was due to pregnancy because it wasnt. I've more or less got over knowing I might never feel as confident in bed again. I have lovely boobs and a nice bum but the stomach is crap.

I always had a lovely hourglass figure, always had a little extra on my stomach but not much. I've lost 4 pounds since I started healthy eating and cutting snacks 2 weeks ago.

But look.at.me. How will I ever be able to feel uninhibited in bed again? I'll be 30 soon and although i'd like to date again, I'm worried I'll be a major turn off to men. I hate the thought if being on top and them looking at my strech marks. Especially as I look decent on the outside.

I know I cant get rid of them. So what can I do to get over it? I feel mentally stuck.

Do u think all mums don’t have sex because their hubbies avoid them because of their stretch marks?! I get that you haven’t had kids but most women your age have them from being pregnant. They do go away.

I had a huge pregnant belly so had big stretch marks as I was tiny, used olive oil on them and they went away. U can use bio oil or vit e capsules or oil too.

FWIW, I am a cancer survivor, I have one saggy old boob and other side is flat with a huge scar across entire chest. If I can get laid at 51, I think you will be fine! 😉

@Maria53

Love, I'm really glad you've spoken up and reached out on here. And it was very brave of you to post a photo. I think you did this not just because you needed someone to be kind and supportive, but also because you feel you need to check your perspective.

And you are right. You do need to do that.

When I was 14, I stressed that my boobs would never grow (I was too thin and that's why was so flat, but I didn't know that).

When I was 19, I stressed that for the first time in my life I was 'fat'. I was a size 10.

At each stage of my life, I've worried that I wasn't right. I worried in my 20s, my 30s, and beyond ... and honestly, there's always something to worry about, if you approach it like that.

Stretch marks are very common and lots of people have them. You must know deep down that one day you will meet a guy who really loves you, and he'll love your stretch marks too. He won't pull you down - he'll build you up.

Don't have casual sex. Try the water with dating but don't end up in bed with relative strangers. Make sure the guy is really someone you want to be properly close to before you start making yourself properly vulnerable. Because with someone who loves you, it so won't be an issue.

It's nothing. They're nothing. As you go through the years, lots of little bits of you will change a bit and one day you might thing oh no, is that really me? Where am I? I'm so not perfect. And yes, the insta madness doesn't help at all (and why, ask yourself, all pics taken in Dubai?! : ) ... you know it's nonsense.

Find the right person and don't worry because he will totally love to make you feel better about those stretch marks. It will be his mission.

Don't worry. You're 20 something. Don't spoil it with worrying. You have great boobs etc - enjoy, enjoy.

Don't worry. Men I think, so many of them, would just love to be close to you and really really would almost find it a privilege to see and love your stretch marks.

X

No @Vegiepatch of course not. I've admittedly not given it a lot of thought. My body was one way for years, but now it's changing and it will change more. I have actually felt some shame for having them without having a baby to show for it! It was pure emotional eating at a bad time.

@Ponchek2 this was a lovely comment that really cheered me up, so thank you! Posting here has given me perspective. I wouldn't rule out casual sex because love is rare so I might be waiting a while and it's something I'm comfortable doing between more serious relationships. I understand your reasoning though.

Thanks @B1rdflyinghigh