Sex with a man vs sex with a woman

[hernameisHannah]

I had sex with a woman for the first time recently after 15 years with the same man and several male partners before him.

I'm wondering if anyone can help me unpick my feelings about this because I'm not sure how much of how I'm feeling is down to having a new exciting partner after a long period of monogamy and how much of it is my sexuality.

So basically sex with this woman has blown my mind. I've never experienced passion before in a sexual encounter. I always thought I must just be too uptight and insecure to just let myself go during sex. I've always been very conscious of my own body during sex with men, not with her. I've never really cared about giving pleasure to a man but it's all I think about with her. I want to experience every part of her body. I've never felt that way about a man.

Can I trust my memory? Is it possible that I did feel that level of desire with men before and I just can't remember it now in the face of these overwhelming emotions?

What are the chances that I will be able to go back to only having sex with my husband after this? After counseling etc. That I might be able to move on from this affair and rediscover enough interest in hetero sex to keep our marriage together?

Or do you think that what I have found is that, after 20 years of only dating men, I'm gay and I need to leave?

I've never been particularly interested in sex before now and I've always been fairly content in my relationship. Perhaps sex just isn't that important and my marriage is good enough? And I will just get over it?

Be very wary of taking advice from someone who does not have children.
There is a real risk that if you leave, your children will feel so betrayed that they will never speak to you again.
I would imagine yourself in the following situation...
it is 1 year since you left your family and you are living alone in dismal flat; your female lover has moved on to her next conquest, you no longer have any contact with your children. This has caused such a big emotional black hole in your life, that you sometimes drive past your family home in the hope of catching a glimpse of your children. Then one day, you see your ex-husband and your children meeting up with his new woman.
Is that outcome a price worth paying for some exciting sex?
One of the very best songs that the Rolling Stones wrote is called "You can't always get what you want (but if you try, you will find that you get what you need)". Wise words indeed.
HOWEVER... there is another possibility. Have you considered inviting your husband into your affair? Many men fantasize about having a threesomes with their wife and another woman. You might be able to have your cake & eat it!
[I have not read through all the other replies above, so it is possible I have repeated what some others have written].

I came out to myself as a lesbian in my late thirties after several long relationships with men. The first time I kissed a woman was incredible. Ditto the first time I had sex with a woman. Sex made sense, I made sense, there was no going back.

@Joystir59

I came out to myself as a lesbian in my late thirties after several long relationships with men. The first time I kissed a woman was incredible. Ditto the first time I had sex with a woman. Sex made sense, I made sense, there was no going back.

Yes yes yes

@Kabia

Be very wary of taking advice from someone who does not have children. There is a real risk that if you leave, your children will feel so betrayed that they will never speak to you again. I would imagine yourself in the following situation... it is 1 year since you left your family and you are living alone in dismal flat; your female lover has moved on to her next conquest, you no longer have any contact with your children. This has caused such a big emotional black hole in your life, that you sometimes drive past your family home in the hope of catching a glimpse of your children. Then one day, you see your ex-husband and your children meeting up with his new woman. Is that outcome a price worth paying for some exciting sex? One of the very best songs that the Rolling Stones wrote is called "You can't always get what you want (but if you try, you will find that you get what you need)". Wise words indeed. HOWEVER... there is another possibility. Have you considered inviting your husband into your affair? Many men fantasize about having a threesomes with their wife and another woman. You might be able to have your cake & eat it! [I have not read through all the other replies above, so it is possible I have repeated what some others have written].

Threesome? No no no no no 😣

I'm leaving my husband. Not for her but because I love women and I don't love him. He'll be better off, eventually

@hernameisHannah

What’s her situation? Single or married too?

I think it's important to remember that when we live with someone, thr tyranny of the everyday domestic things makes any relationship far less exciting.
Sounds like a good, mutually pleasurable relationship with husband. He sounds like he cares about your pleasure, which is wonderful (and many women have not had this). But you do lose that mad spark when you live with someone full time. If you lived with this female full time, it would be the same. Having sex with someone new is usually all-consuming and mind-blowing at the start.
Just take a weekend away and have some time to consider everything when you are not feeling High on the serotonin of great sex, which after all, can be like a chemical addiction.