Needing a male prostitute...

[Spiderling]

I’ve a very high sex drive, yes have some fun ‘helpers’ from Ann Summers etc - but I can’t take this any longer; I want to be touched and held.

Long story short happy married, 10 yr old son and love husband truly, but one catch - I’m 41, husband is 62....Yes, 21 year gap.

Not having erectile problems or anything, but no interest at al!!! No intimacy for a bloody long time now, have tried everything from books to advice online so now really, seriously thinking about professional escort/gigolo/prostitute - but just don’t know where to look or how to hire! I don’t want an affair - basically I just need a good fuck, so so badly!!

Anyone with any advice or ideas? Thank you ladies and sorry if I seem a bit blunt 🤭

[LipstickOnYourCollar5]

I think the biggest worry for females looking for NSA is safety. I think it’s always wise to meet in a public place like a pub/restaurant and getting a hotel. I’m not sure how the hook-up sites work like FabSwingers but a male escort sounds like a much safer method for NSA, providing you can afford this.

[Parkerwhereareyou]

@Danceswithwhippets but it's my idea .......!! Perhaps you want to collaborate?! I'm not going to say what @AverageGuy always says then but ...

The eyebrows will become a favourite, trust me. 99p per minute ... maybe buy one get one free ... honestly try the eyebrows. A surprising side dish.

[LipstickOnYourCollar5]

@Parkerwhereareyou - I would happily pay to have my hair played with (not of the pubic kind! 😆) I absolutely love it, maybe another idea to throw in too 💆🏻‍♀️

[MisterT373]

@Parkerwhereareyou You could have a platonic service with some contact and then you could have a more x-rated service which you could call Deliverude.

[TheRealForReal]

I will take the x rated version, thanks

[Parkerwhereareyou]

Ha all such good ideas! Perhaps we could have one of those Mumsnet trials for it? : D

[MisterT373]

@Parkerwhereareyou Its not just spinsters who feel the loneliness. When I got home from work as I walked in the door I'd say "honey I'm home!" (Like Michelle Pfeifer as Catwoman does in Batman Returns) and then remind myself I live alone.

Don't get me wrong - sex would be great but I'd settle for intimacy and someone to put their feet on my lap while watching Netflix.

[wizzywig]

@AverageGuy you are the star of the thread!!

[Parkerwhereareyou]

Don't get me wrong - sex would be great but I'd settle for intimacy and someone to put their feet on my lap while watching Netflix.

@MisterT373 I think you've said it here.

That person. That person who is just there. Someone whose body is as familiar as your own, but whose energy is always somehow interestingly different. The reassurance every time you link yourselves together, even touching only for second, or hearing them in a different room. They are there, that is what is important. And how you can reach out even without looking, just, as you say, to feel their feet in your lap, or their hand on your shoulder, or to bask in the comfort of their quiet breathing.

I miss the sound of his feet on the stairs. The rise and fall of his chest as I lie on it while he sleeps. The sound of his heart.

(oh, and someone to put the bins out 😉)

[Danceswithwhippets]

@Parkerwhereareyou -you nearly gave me a heart attack! I jumped up to go and put the bin out -but no one else has - it’s because Easter has changed my collection day…

Me, I’m tired of my own cooking.

Please don’t go off-message again – please confine your comments to male prostitutes and finding an eyebrow stroker.

[Danceswithwhippets]

@parkerwhereareyou
I've just realised I missed the appropriate jokey emoji off my last post.

You go off-message very amusingly and eloquently.

You can put my bins out any day (I'll let you know when I learn the correct day).

[wizzywig]

@Sampsei765 bloody hell, is that even legal?!

[Parkerwhereareyou]

@Danceswithwhippets thank you and not I didn't take offence, endnote without the emoji ... thought you were teasing ... yes I'm a bit worried my actual talent might be constantly going off topic 🤔🤭☺️

Nooooo .... anything but the bins ..... anything! I hate them soooo much. !!

And bin-anxiety. Missing the dustbin lorry by a whisker. Begging them in my nightie to come back. Sometimes they do ... but now I line the bins up the same day they're collected, all ready for next week! So they just need a little push into the right place when the critical evening comes (always night before - never taking any chances again!).

Way off topic. Off-piste and loving making patterns in the virgin snow 😉

[Parkerwhereareyou]

Typos galore. No I didn't taken offence, even without the smile!

[Parkerwhereareyou]

All ready for next week!!
(gosh I hope not too outing!?)

[AverageGuy]

I want to apologise to anyone that has taken offence at any of my posts.

If you believe I am being / have been inappropriate, than you have my most humble apologies. It has never been my intention to upset anyone here. I've had some great advice and help, and wouldn't want to loose out on being part of this great community.

Consider me chastised. It won't happen again.

[TheRealForReal]

@AverageGuy I don't think you've said anything that could offend anyone! Dont consider yourself chastisised, there's no need :)

[Parkerwhereareyou]

@AverageGuy

I want to apologise to anyone that has taken offence at any of my posts.

If you believe I am being / have been inappropriate, than you have my most humble apologies. It has never been my intention to upset anyone here. I've had some great advice and help, and wouldn't want to loose out on being part of this great community.

Consider me chastised. It won't happen again.

What did you say, @AverageGuy ??

You haven't said anything bad I think? My ref to not being offended (if relevant) was a joke back to @Danceswithwhippets

I always think what you say is good! You have my vote 🙏

[Parkerwhereareyou]

Mind you, what got deleted?

[Danceswithwhippets]

Ooooh er @Parkerwhereareyou, what big bins you've got.

Mine's out now, ready for tomorrow, I follow my neighbours lead. The boys in high vis come early and nobody deserves to see me in my nightie.

[AverageGuy]

@Parkerwhereareyou - thanks.
Did you not see it? It was in reference to your idea about dial-a-guy. I was volunteering!

I obviously can't repeat it in a public forum... Don't want to get suspended again!

[MisterT373]

Can you get suspended on Mumsnet Forum? I am currently undergoing a 5 day suspension from Fabswingers Forums so I am a bad boy by nature....

[Parkerwhereareyou]

@AverageGuy
Ha yes I did see it!! Yes it was memorable! 😂

I honestly don't understand what you did wrong though? You were offering to help?!! And the thread title itself was a bit of an invitation ...

@MisterT373 that sounds like possibly quite a dubious badge of honour ... daren't ask why!

@Danceswithwhippets
Those bins have to be protected by an alarm ...

[AverageGuy]

@MisterT373 - yes, you can! Caution is advised.

@Parkerwhereareyou - I'm glad you thought so! I can't tell what I'm supposed to have done wrong you here - sorry.

[Parkerwhereareyou]

@AverageGuy really I do remember it quite well. It was very funny and I didn't see anything at all that seemed even remotely offensive. You were joking. All your strikethroughs showed that too.

It just made me laugh. I suppose if someone was feeling vulnerable in some way to any of it, then it might have struck a wrong chord, which is a real pity. But I can't see that was because you were trying to be disrespectful or abusive.

Some of the things I've had said to me have been beyond horrible. Especially if you ever expose yourself by being honest, or if your opinion goes against the general stream of some heavy lobbies on here.

Don't worry. At least you didn't get totally suspended!!