Yes, what did @arcof say? I'm intrigued now!
My comments would be too detailed maybe ... it took me a good two and a half years even to look at what had been done to me after having my first child ... I was too upset.
I suppose it wasn't anywhere near as bad as I'd thought. But then again, I hadn't take a before photo of myself ... nobody had warned me I might need to : (
My experience of first childbirth was so traumatic that my relationship with sex/my sexual ego was changed forever.
The best sex I have now is where I forget all that and just feel like I did when I was 18 and perfect. : (
I remember just crying with relief that I could still have a clitoral orgasm. For a very sexual/sensual person such as myself, what was done to me was beyond violation.
I find that on MN we aren't really allowed to talk about this stuff. We can't say anything negative about childbirth, or abortion. We have to stick to the shiny line and not break rank. That, I think, is one of the most awful examples of stifling our true voices, from a group of people who pride themselves on being honest, direct, to the point and true. TBH I'd rather discuss it with a guy.
We can't airbrush this. We should be telling it how it is.
If someone had given me the real run-down before my first child, I would have taken control and things would have been different. It's not helpful to be told 'oh it will all be fine' - no, it isn't. If we haven't been through it before, we need to be properly advised and armed by those who have.
Pretending it's a picnic is not the answer. It is not a picnic. It is a life and death experience on the most serious level, and we need to be ready for that challenge.
So I could and maybe will tell you how I felt better again, but I'm not giving any cheery Disney version.
The story is all about hope and the strength of life in me, and you. But you need humility, self-understanding, love and the ability to embrace yourself as you truly are, to get through it.