My feed

to access all these features

You need to have been registered for 7 days to post in the Sex forum. Please don’t send unwanted PMs to other users.


Think I've used sex toys too much.

7 replies

Waitinginthewings · 20/02/2021 10:43

I was single for a few years before I started dating again about 6 months ago. Whilst I was single I used a vibrator quite often. I'm now in a relationship and really happy but really struggle to climax. Worried it's because my body has been desensitised by using a vibrator too much. I love having sex and really attracted to this man.

If I don't use vibrator for awhile, could I get back sensitivity, climax?


If you've found this page in search of vibrators that have been tried and tested by fellow Mumsnet users, you might find our guide to the best vibrators useful. Hope this helps! MNHQ 💐

OP posts:
Sexboardsafename · 20/02/2021 17:25

I find the opposite and I come more easily with my partner if I’m using toys regularly. Maybe he needs a bit of direction to hit the right spots?

saleorbouy · 20/02/2021 21:35

The female version of the MN chestnut "deathgrip" Oh dear!
I'm sure it is possible to retrieve your ability to orgasm with you new partner. Maybe see if you can lead the way with the stimulation you require to climax.
He might not be adverse to you using your vibrator at the same time as you DTD.
I've heard before that it's not possible for a female to desensitise but not sure if there is any truth in that.
Wishing you luck it finding a happy solution.

B1rdflyinghigh · 21/02/2021 00:24

The death grip is ridiculous. I have used toys, vibrating ones. But if a man touches me in the right way, it leads to an orgasm.
Id say that you weren't fully relaxed with the person you're with. Hopefully in time it will come!

StarlightLady · 21/02/2021 06:48

I can only speak for myself. I’ve been a very frequent, often daily, vibey user since my teens, now early 40s. I certainy don’t feel desensitised as a result. If anything l would say it keeps everything running smoothly. My needs for this and 1:1 sex are quite different. I love to start my my mornings with a buzz when l first wake up, it sets me up for the day. But l am not in the mood for 1:1 sex with someone at 6:00 am!

Do you need to guide him to the magic spot? Is he skilled with his mouth and tongue? Is he spending long enough? To sum up, l don’t think it’s a case of your sensitivity at all, it sounds more as if he needs to learn your body.

Waitinginthewings · 21/02/2021 08:05

I'm surprised by people's responses, I thought people would say the opposite. Good to know my sensitivity probably hasn't been affected.

Maybe I'm just not relaxed enough with my new partner.

I know it's a normal thing to say but I hate it when he says he wants me to come/ to tell him when I've come/ to come for him.... Because I then feel under pressure that I should be able to climax and almost like its a failing on my part if I can't.

OP posts:
cosmicbabe · 21/02/2021 09:12

I have this... it's got better over time but I just didn't know what to do in partner sex to make me orgasm. Just so used to how a clit vibrator got me off in under 5 minutes. Partner sex now takes a good 40 minutes before I'm even close. It's a struggle so I sympathise.

StarlightLady · 21/02/2021 10:23

To add to my previous comment, l am no medic but l am a Vulva Owner(!), l would have thought the more you use and care for her, the better she will respond to you with treats. It’s certainly worked that way for me.

The above is fine for solo, but when it comes to sharing, you need someone prepared to learn. Otherwise change who you are educating. Never confuse settling with someone with settling for someone.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.