If you consider yourself good at sex, tell me why

[Twattergy]

On a different thread some posters called themselves 'good in bed'. If you consider yourself good in bed please tell me why. Women only please. I ask because I don't think I am, and wonder what makes a woman confident in her sexual performance. I am a middle aged woman BTW not a random perv.

I don’t consider myself good in bed otherwise I would have had a much more successful relationship history than I have had.

I think this guy nails or:
*
Flashheart:*
The first thing to remember is always treat your kite [Whacks diagram with his pointer.] like you treat your woman [Whips the air. Hard.]
George:
Ho-how do you mean, sir? You mean, um... you mean, take her home over the weekend to meet your mother?
Flashheart:
No. I mean get inside her five times a day and take her to heaven and back!

Enthusiasm (genuine).

Like pp said, enthusiasm (which can't be faked), if you're really turned on and going for it. That's sexy AF!

I wouldn’t dream of being so presumptious as to say l was good.

What l do come with though is passion and l’m comfortable with my (far from perfect) naked self. I suppose that’s a starter.

Yes, enthusiasm. I'm pretty meh about piv and giving blow jobs. That probably comes across. Its why I don't feel good in bed.

I’m comfortable in my body (being big woman). I love and enjoy sex. Enthusiasm. I’ve been told I give amazing blow jobs by many men in past (I think I’m no different to anyone but I love doing it and trying different things - so again enthusiastic)

Would echo enthusiasm and body comfort (also a big woman).

I have had 3 sexual partners that would say I'm good in bed. I'd say this was down to being compatible, enthusiastic, confident and wanting them to have a good time too.

I've also had partners that would say I'm not good in bed due to not having a sexual interest, low confidence, low knowledge etc. I can't fake it either!

Think it depends on who you are with. I have had some very sex based relationships. Pure lust, passion. I’ve also had some relationships with really nice men but the lust and passion were missing so the sex was average as was my performance. I tend to raise my game for the right person.

Twattergy, I know that you did not want a man's opinion, but I must say that most of the delightfully perverted people I have met have been middle-aged women...

Thanks @xpc316e for confirming why I don't want a man's opinion.

@Twanger6 yes I'd agree. If I think when I was most confident (and I think the only lover I had who might say i was good in bed) was when I was single in between long term relationships, he was a lot younger, extremely attractive and quite innocent so I took on role of 'teacher'. I was having a lot of one night stands at this time so was feeling liberated.

If I feel great about my body then whatever happens next is also amazing

Think it depends on a few factors and it's not straightforward whether you're good in bed or not. I've been with guys and if I'm not completely into them or there's not much chemistry, they won't have had me at my best. I think both partners must be sexually compatible and there must be a connection, at least a sexual one for a good shag. One partner might have had loads of good sex in the past, but with a new person they might not find their rhythm and the sex isn't going to be amazing. So yes I would say I'm good in bed with my husband and certain others in my past, but with others not as much.

Definitely genuine enthusiasm. Actually having a good time and not 'performing' like you're in a porno. And letting your partner know what you like and don't like.

Enthusiasm and being able to shed your inhibition is the key.

Seriously, whoever you're fucking doesn't give a shite about cellulite, saggy tits or other wobbly or wonky bits.

With chemistry and enthusiasm anyone can be amazing. All about the connection.

I'm pretty sure I'm now good in bed, though I wasn't, particularly, a couple of years ago.

Going onto hook-up sites and having enormous amounts of text sex (plus some of the real stuff) gave me a lot more confidence in my 51 year old charms, and the fact that the men had to express themselves in words taught me an awful lot about what they liked. And I learned a lot about the variety of things that please people. Most of all, I learned how to teach someone to make me orgasm, so I know what I"m aiming for, and how to let my own arousal actually happen - I was blocking it in multiple ways before, for multiple reasons. I can't really bear to think about the previous 32 years of my active sex life now.

DH says that I’m “dirty” apparently this makes you A* at sex. I suspect it’s a euphemism for enthusiastic and imaginative.

I've no idea what I'm doing at the time, there is no technique or plan or anything, it's all about connection and feelings for me.

What do you mean by 'dirty' @Angrymum22 ?
It's hard to know in this age of anything goes in porn.
(I'm not a man/perv btw - just interested)

Unabashed delight. Having fun. Going slow. Enjoying every moment.

It helps that I'm no longer forcing myself into heterosexual relationships.

Enthusiasm, passion, being “into it”.

Being an active participant. Also, as I’ve experienced, being open to try new things (within your comfort zone, but you never know what you might enjoy!).

Showing appreciation. I always make sure my DH knows he’s getting it right and he always responds positively. I think most men love seeing their partner turned on.

I think it’s more attitude than technique. You can always teach someone who’s willing.

All sex will be bad with someone you have no attraction to.