If you consider yourself good at sex, tell me why

[Twattergy]

On a different thread some posters called themselves 'good in bed'. If you consider yourself good in bed please tell me why. Women only please. I ask because I don't think I am, and wonder what makes a woman confident in her sexual performance. I am a middle aged woman BTW not a random perv.

Empathy, sensitivity, affection, enthusiasm, acceptance.

For me, there absolutely has to be the right chemistry. If I fancy the arse off someone, I want to do all manner of rude things with them.

I'd echo PPs' comments about enthusiasm and confidence. Sexy is an attitude, not a body shape or size.

Communication - picking up on what your partner really wants and also feeling comfortable expressing your wants and desires.

Education - DP and I have attended workshops on topics including sensual massage, tantra, jealousy, pegging, squirting... I think having a thorough understanding of the physiology and psychology of sex makes for a better experience. Also, being adventurous and willing to try new things is an attractive quality in a partner.

Fun - we all know that there can be embarrassing moments during sex. It helps if your partner is someone you can laugh with when it all goes a bit wrong!

I don't judge myself. That's a sure way to feel bad.

I'm just empathetic. I feel what the other person feels. I only do what feels good. Seems to work.

Enthusiasm, sheer desire, no boundaries or inhibitions, being open minded and active in bed. I absolutely fancy the pants of my partner and have never felt that way about anyone else so I almost naturally bring my A game! I just always want him to have the best time ever and this makes me have the best time. My entire focus is enjoying every minute of being with him and lost in each other.

I'm often told I am, but I doubt I have more skills or knowledge than the avaperage woman. I know what I like, and I'm a bit selfish in making sure I get it. That said I never have sex without a high level of mutual attraction. That's always helpful for enthusiasm.

Enthusiasm, confidence in my body, I enjoy it (as in, I don't do anything out of feeling obliged and set boundaries where needed), I'm good at asking for what I like and talking about what they like, I like trying new things, I don't take it or myself too seriously.

I've had sex with people who wanted to hide in the dark, responded to every suggestion with a meek "if you want?", didn't want to try anything new but when asked where there boundaries were so I wasn't suggesting anything didn't know or hadn't thought about it... It's off putting. It makes it feel like you're doing something to someone who doesn't really enjoy it.

Other than incompatible all-encompassing kinks, I've never found disliking a particular act to be a barrier to someone being good in bed. You're still allowed to not like X or Y, but learning (and showing) enthusiasm and confidence in the things you do will make you better in bed. Attitude and approach will do wonders.

But all of the good things are achievable - there's no special skill to it. Working on your self confidence, learning what you do and don't like and having that conversation openly and without shame... These are things you can do!

Also, chemistry is about 80% of it. Only sleep with people you REALLY fancy and the rest comes a lot easier!

As above, I've been told I'm good in bed, and its mostly down to being actively involved, enthusiastic and enjoying whats happening ( encouraging vocally is a massive turn on!) go with the flow when its comfortable, guiding it gently if its not, and uninhibited about my passion and my body. Enjoy it!!