To think my pleasure trumping his,is odd??

[adminangel]

New boyfriend of a few months and everything is going great. He is very kind, attentive, loving and caring. I feel strongly for him also.
The question I have is whether I am being unreasonable to think that my sexual pleasure trumping his, is normal
. I don't know what is normal after a very different sexual dynamic in a twenty year relationship where my needs came last.

He will quite happily hug, kiss, have fun with foreplay and then wait until I am satisfied.it is biggest turn on he says.
Am I being cynical ?
Also, he does not always come but the majority of the time he does but doesn't have any ED issues .He seems very satisfied but I really have never met anyone like this before .Thanks for reading .

Some men are just like that! I’m a few weeks into a relationship with a man 20 years older than me who is just the same!

Seems a bit odd to me but everyone is different. Personally I'd be upset of DH didnt cum everytime, it would make me insecure. What do you mean by "wait for you"?

Sounds pretty normal to me. Maybe I've just been lucky.

Only had one selfish guy and he didn't last long.

He seems to get a kick out of my pleasure and end result than his own. I hope I am
Not being tmi.
He can be slow to climax .

Maybe the sex forum is more appropriate for this topic? Not really seeing the AIBU to be honest.

What do you mean by"wait for you"?
My partner is the same. He will always wait for me to orgasm..before allowing himself to.

Ok sorry. I am only registered two weeks so I cannot
Post there I think. Sorry if I have offended .
My aibu is whether I am being cynical or normal s this the normal. Or is it odd .

My ex was like this he was very good at foreplay and always waited until I was satisfied first it did give me a little anxiety at first but I soon realised that was just who he was as a person and his kink was watching me orgasm etc, the ex before that was completely selfish and viewed sex as a means to and end for himself and basically used me good thing he only last 5 mins hey 😂

I think you're looking a gift horse in the mouth. Too many men think sex is just about their gratification. My orgasm is just as important as DHs and if he finishes first he asks if I want finishing. Sometimes I dont need it. Sometimes he's satisfied before he orgasms.
People make sex so rigid, just have fun with it, lifes about the journey not the destination

I thought this was fairly normal, is it not? Really? if a guy didn't see to making sure I had a good time in bed before he got his, I'd be thinking he'd just stepped out of the 1950s and dump him like a shot.

I'm so sorry you had to put up with that kind of behaviour for the last 20 years OP. Welcome to a modern relationship with a considerate person

Sorry I'll qualify that, making sure I had a good time before OR after he got his. If my good time wasn't important to him at all and never happened because he was asleep within seconds of his own orgasm, well that scenario would definitely only happen once!

I think the woman going first is fairly normal, as he often falls asleep after his!

DH always makes sure I finish first, says it helps push him closer :) is this not the norm?

I think it can be a rare thing.
Just enjoy it!!

Thanks. It has certainly reassured me. I was so used to being used for my ex sexual
Gratification, it is a shame that I am
Or was cynical about it.
I will enjoy it but when sometimes he takes so Long to climax , I wondered if I was the problem.

I thought that was normal? I've never met a man who just used me for sex, all of them have been verging on obsessed with making sure I'm happy first

I mean I'm aware it happens but I was under the impression that that type of man was super rare.

DH always makes sure I finish first (sometimes I don't finish, but I get a good go!), I think it's both being unselfish, and a practical thing, as once he's finished, he can't really carry on!

My husband is the same. I’ve usually orgasmed 2/3 times before the focus goes anywhere near him. It’s his preference, and obviously it works for me.

I think because you’ve had a selfish partner in the past you’re worried about being put first, but I don’t think there is anything weird about it!

My husband is the same - although he usually finishes as well, and it doesn’t take much time. I’m usually first, and he definitely loves seeing me have fun. He never likes the attention solely on him for long.

I thought this was reasonably normal.

I would think a man who didn't arouse me to orgasm before his own was a pretty dismal lover. DH always said my pleasure was his biggest turn on - as have other men.

Sounds like your previous partner was a selfish lover. The new man is a big improvement. Enjoy!

I thought this was normal!

I've never been with a man who didn't do this.

Wow! Thank you.
This has been a real Eye opener . I must have been Living under a rock.

95% of the time DP makes sure I've finished first.. the 5% is a quicky.

Don't ignore your instincts if something feels off though.

You're not being cynical, OP, you've just (sadly) never had a decent man. Hopefully your new partner will open your eyes a bit. I hope you have loads of fun together!