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Original poster

Please help - woman on top

27 replies

ontherav · 10/10/2020 17:52

I'm so embarrassed to say I've reached 30 without knowing what the hell to do if I'm on top.

I've always been body conscious and as such felt shy so it the early days I used to say no and it's reach a point where I feel stupid even trying with my husband.

Please help!!!

I've read about "rocking" or it being "like being on a horse" but this just doesn't make sense to me. Do I bounce? I don't know what to do with my hips. I'm useless. What do i do?!

OP posts:

StarlightLady · 10/10/2020 18:28

After insertion go on the vertical and move backwards and forwards. Gently does it. The motion is not a lot different from having a skillful man on top of you.

Original poster

ontherav · 10/10/2020 18:50

Thank you - when you say back and forwards does it also need to be up and down?

I'm trying kind of rocking back and forth but don't feel like it really does anything. But up and down is just tiring!!

Maybe I'm thinking into it too much. I'm scared if i go slow it won't be enjoyable for him!

OP posts:

xpc316e · 10/10/2020 19:22

There are no rules about what you need to do. If I were you, I'd get on top, find out what kind of movement appeals to me and then keep doing it. I would also discover what my partner liked and alternate between the two.

Without in any way being unkind, my partner does not have the body of a supermodel, but I adore admiring her when she gets on top. I am sure that your partner will feel the same about you. It is also fun when someone else gets to drive the bus, dictate the rhythm, control the depth of penetration, etc.

If you cannot be confident, then I suggest that you simply fake it until you can make it. Best wishes.

Original poster

ontherav · 11/10/2020 07:13

@xpc316e thank you - you sound like a great partner!

I might be brave and shock him later (when it's dark 🙈) and give it a go - hope for the best.

OP posts:

peridito · 11/10/2020 07:58

Don't fret OP ,it's just you and him being together .As xpc has said ,find out what movements you like and carry on from there .

Original poster

ontherav · 11/10/2020 08:26

Thanks @peridito I think I've got to a point where I've left it so long/late, the thought is terrifying!

It's made even worse with the fact it's my husband and I feel embarrassed despite being completely comfortable around him in every other way...

OP posts:

anniversarywoes · 11/10/2020 08:27

@ontherav if it's tiring you're doing something right! It's dhs fave and in the early days of constant sex I lost weight from treating him to it so much

Original poster

ontherav · 11/10/2020 08:41

@anniversarywoes that's promising! Although I'm currently pregnant so not sure how much weight will shift

OP posts:

Anotherblokelurking · 11/10/2020 08:57

I had a partner who would go reverse cowgirl, lean forwards towards my feet, and rock her hips so she could grind her clit along the length of the shaft. Once she had had at least one orgasm she would then sort of hover while I did the thrusting to get my orgasm. Or sometimes we would roll onto our sides into a spooning position, again so I could then thrust away.

peridito · 11/10/2020 08:57

ontherav have you told him that you're embarrassed and worried ? That you want it to be great for him but feel that you don't know where to start ?

Original poster

ontherav · 11/10/2020 10:17

No - he probably just thinks I'm either outrageously lazy or selfish...

OP posts:

wizzbangfizz · 11/10/2020 11:36

Get your partner to sit up with back against headboard/wall and then climb on and get a good rhythm going - we love this!

Original poster

ontherav · 11/10/2020 18:32

Thank you everyone for your tips!

OP posts:

zarek · 11/10/2020 18:33

Don't worry. The main appeal of this position is your partner being willing to get on top an guiding it in. After that a bit of gentle movement is all that is expected. In fact anything more is a bit worrying from an inadvertent injury perspective.

peridito · 11/10/2020 19:37

The main appeal of this position is your partner being willing to get on top an guiding it in um ,why is that appealing or am I being dense ?

fineokthen · 11/10/2020 21:16

After that a bit of gentle movement is all that is expected.

My partner likes me to bounce up and down vigorously .
The alternative is rocking to and fro , getting almost horizontal with his body as this is how we fit together based on the angle of his erection.
Or sometimes I will stay still and he will control the movement by thrusting upwards and holding my hips
Or turn around and reverse cowgirl ride him .
Once you gain confidence there's a lot you can do
Hold his neck , tie him up , reach for his balls , kiss his neck

dinosaurrisotto · 12/10/2020 22:04

I have/had the same issue. Lack of confidence and absolutely no sense of rhythm meant i didn't try going on top. I have recently given it a go. I can't say it was with much expertise, but it had the desired effect for both of us! I straddle him and then basically lie across him and move up and down horizontally (so not bouncing up and down). I hold on to the head board or put my hands down either side of his head to give me balance and support my weight (how do people sit up and bounce up and down?? I don't have the strength in my thighs!), which has the added advantage of my boobs being in his face. Let us know how you get on!

everybodyknowsus · 13/10/2020 06:02

I love being on top. I'm no supermodel; size 12 with an overhang from 2 c sections and saggy tits from breastfeeding, plus a selection of stretch marks. DP doesn't care, he loves me as I am.

I get on and usually lean slightly forward and support myself by putting my hands either side of him...or sometimes pinning his hands down underneath mine. If I sit upright I usually dig my nails gently into his chest.

Experiment with different speed of movement...we've found that me moving verrrry slowly, or almost not at all, can be even more of a turn on that vigorous grinding.

j712adrian · 13/10/2020 10:42

Just pressing down hard can also be wonderful and can result in a powerful ending for both lady and gentleman.

sosickofthisshit · 13/10/2020 11:02

My partner is a big guy (tall and broad), and I cant straddle him for too long, so I find reverse cowgirl, with me using my knees to move up and down works great. He loves the movement and I get a leg workout lol

Longsight2019 · 13/10/2020 19:03

Lean in and kiss him passionately. He’ll instinctively Bob his hips up and down and you can meet him with your own gentle thrust downwards as he’s on the up.

Don’t put a kink in his cock.

Original poster

ontherav · 18/10/2020 20:28

I did it!!

Last night I tried it. It just kind of naturally happened without me forcing going on top.

It started off feeling a little awkward but once I got a rhythm and he told me the speed he liked, it was ok!

Didn't stay up there long but I've tried it and will again...

OP posts:

dinosaurrisotto · 18/10/2020 21:32

Hurray! Sitting up straight or leaning across? Glad it worked.

Original poster

ontherav · 18/10/2020 21:34

I kind of lay across his body, using my hands for support - tried to kiss a bit whilst there to stop him looking at me

Not quite confident being upright just yet!

Small steps though...

OP posts:

j712adrian · 18/10/2020 21:40

congrats, he'll love you to bits for it for the happiness too

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