Where does your partner cum?

[Longsight2019]

After a conversation with a friend about where her husband likes to ‘finish’ it made me wonder what is the most likely place guys like to leave their ‘deposit’.

In my experience a creampie is their ultimate and for obvious reasons, but on the whole does that happen most of the time, or do people use condoms, simply pull out, or do the porn facial thing?

Depending on time of month we alternate between cum inside and withdrawal, just to offer our method as a starting point.

[bigdinkydoodah]

Vagina, mouth, ass, face....anywhere really as long as we both get enjoyment from it. I think DH would prefer ass & mouth every time.

[blowinahoolie]

Inside. Every time. Agree with a PP that it's a great feeling when it's dripping out - can't get enough of it. He does like to see it creamed down there occasionally after the deed is done. He used to enjoy cumming all over my stomach and breasts years ago when we did withdrawal method for a while. His ultimate Christmas treat would be anal but doesn't appeal to me.

[Parkerwhereareyou]

- a majority of men want to finish on our faces and most women don’t want them to

??? Ok, I promise, I am not being deliberately provocative here (for once). But:

What is the problem with cum on your face?

I honestly really do not understand why it would be a problem. It's funny, it's cool, it's a great moment, it's a turn on when it just does was it does, and if it goes on your cheeks/mouth/nose/forehead/chin/eyebrows ... really what is the problem?

I don't get it. I genuinely don't get why anyone would not like that, or find it a hardship.

If you fancy and love your partner, don't you love his cum? How could you reject that? It's lovely stuff. It's him. How could you possibly not adore it???

This is a genuine question. I'm puzzled. And I think that when women are like 'omg I hate it - so messy' then that means either they're v uptight and unempathetic or they're with the wrong guy.

... just saying : )

[Parkerwhereareyou]

(just genuinely saying ;)

[GrumpyTerrier]

What is a creampie? Really really don't want to google it!

Inside, on breasts, stomach, between ass cheeks, between thighs. I don't particularly want it on my face or in my hair but I wouldnt kick off if it happened.

[Wizzbangfizz]

I would never have man cum on my face - it's nothing to do with love/respect I would just hate it.

[Parkerwhereareyou]

@Wizzbangfizz

I would never have man cum on my face - it's nothing to do with love/respect I would just hate it.

But why? I honestly cannot understand why it would feel bad it’s just your face! And anyhow it’s really intimate to have it on your face ... I love it, so can’t work out how it could be bad. What exactly is it you don’t like?

Also, if your partner didn’t want ‘you’ on his face, wouldn’t that feel bad/sad for you?

[FuckyouCovid21]

Goo? How very childish

[SparklingStars10]

@Parkerwhereareyou
'omg I hate it - so messy' then that means either they're v uptight and unempathetic or they're with the wrong guy.

Because some women simply don’t like having semen on their face, it’s as simple as that, much the same as some women like oral, others don’t.
Everyone has preferences.
It doesn’t mean they’re uptight, unempathetic or with the wrong guy.

[nonflirtinghusband]

I would love my DH to come on my face/boobs/ass but he won't even come in my mouth when I've told him I want him to.

[Deathgrip]

@Parkerwhereareyou

- a majority of men want to finish on our faces and most women don’t want them to

??? Ok, I promise, I am not being deliberately provocative here (for once). But:

What is the problem with cum on your face?

I honestly really do not understand why it would be a problem. It's funny, it's cool, it's a great moment, it's a turn on when it just does was it does, and if it goes on your cheeks/mouth/nose/forehead/chin/eyebrows ... really what is the problem?

I don't get it. I genuinely don't get why anyone would not like that, or find it a hardship.

If you fancy and love your partner, don't you love his cum? How could you reject that? It's lovely stuff. It's him. How could you possibly not adore it???

This is a genuine question. I'm puzzled. And I think that when women are like 'omg I hate it - so messy' then that means either they're v uptight and unempathetic or they're with the wrong guy.

... just saying : )

Look at the study - not liking it is not uncommon, particularly the longer into a relationship it is, and the less porn you watch. I absolutely detest porn and in a longterm marriage, so clearly I’m in that demographic.

I have a very opposite reaction to you. I definitely find it neither funny nor cool. It has nothing to do with being messy. External ejaculation is not an issue for me, but doing it over the face is. To me it’s a deliberate attempt to degrade, it’s painful if it gets into your eyes, it’s unpleasant if it goes up your nose. I find the act of ejaculating on to someone’s face deeply unpleasant, which I am entitled to feel. I’m not uptight or prudish, and enjoy many things that I’m sure others wouldn’t or don’t.

It’s really not your place to call other people uptight or make judgements about their relationship because they don’t enjoy the things you like. It’s quite disturbing, actually. Some women don’t like having ejaculate on them. Some will have a sensory issue with it, some won’t like how it feels. Your judgements about people having individual preferences is really odd. This is like the oral sex discussion all over again - some people won’t accept that people like or dislike different things and it’s perfectly valid. And even if someone is “uptight”, that’s their right and it’s not an insult, just an insulting euphemism for having boundaries.

It’s something I have done many times, when I didn’t want to. I was in a relationship with a porn addict which was abusive, and due to previous abuse I went along with a lot of things I didn’t actually enjoy. Even convinced myself that I did enjoy these things when actually much of it was traumatic for me. Responses to abuse vary, and I think many of us who’ve been abused can end up with acts that feel degrading involved in our sex lives. I think at times I’ve even chosen to do things that are degrading, even after what I’ve been through, because I’m damaged by what’s happened. I have completely changed my outlook and have had to carefully unpick my sexual preferences and my lines in the sand. This is one of several.

I can completely understand why others might not enjoy the things I enjoy, some of which are bizarrely taboo. What I don’t understand is this faux wide-eyed “how can you possibly not like that”.

Worse still, I’ve heard the sort of coercive language you’re employing from that abusive ex - if you love me / fancy me then you should enjoy x, y and z (or indeed any single sexual thing they can think of). There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having sexual boundaries, and nothing wrong with this being one of them. The fact that you as an individual don’t get it is irrelevant.

[Deathgrip]

Also, if your partner didn’t want ‘you’ on his face, wouldn’t that feel bad/sad for you?

Fucking hell. Are you getting this stuff straight from the coercive control handbook?

If my partner didn’t want to me ejaculate on to his face, I wouldn’t feel sad at all - I would respect his boundary.

You don’t have to do anything your partner wants just because they like it. That’s sex 101.

[Parkerwhereareyou]

@SparklingStars10

It doesn’t mean they’re uptight, unempathetic or with the wrong guy.

I know. I'm sorry. It's not that I don't accept or respect that some women would have an objection. I just honestly can't get ehh as I love cum so much. And it's also really very good for your skin.

I suspect it's to do with how you (psychologically) view semen all together.

Oh dear - just seen @Deathgrip 's notes.

Ok, yes, it's to do with how an individual views semen.

I don't see it as something dirty. I see it as squeaky clean and amazing, and usually with magical life-creating properties. It's powerful stuff and I adore it.

Nothing to do with coercive control. Sure if someone was forcing their unwanted, unwashed erection down my throat, hurting me, effectively orally raping me in a violent way, then cumming on my face, then that would be - but it's kind of offensive to me for you to presume that's what I would want, and also with respect it's very narrow minded and wrong porn centred for you to think that's the only way someone can cum on your face.

I'm talking about mutual arousal, pleasure, respect, intimacy, acceptance and love, here. Which is why I'm totally within my rights to say I can't understand why if you love a guy and his cock and his cum, you would have areas of your body where it was forbidden to splash. Because that seems weirdly fastidious to me. And would make him possibly feel bad and just as I wouldn't want him to make me feel ashamed, so I wouldn't do that to him.

Just saying. No need to get angry. 💋

[Parkerwhereareyou]

@Deathgrip

I was in a relationship with a porn addict which was abusive, and due to previous abuse I went along with a lot of things I didn’t actually enjoy. Even convinced myself that I did enjoy these things when actually much of it was traumatic for me

I'm v sorry you had to endure that. So it's a trauma that has put you off forever, of course. I was making a light comment and not referring to sexual and other abuse survivors.

I was just trying (lightly) to work out what the objection was (aside from extreme trauma).

I think I don't like the idea that it is automatically degrading. So then is it not also degrading for a man to have his face (face) between you legs and covered in you? Isn't that the same?

And what would the response be if a guy came on and said licking pussy is disgusting and degrading and abusive? Ok his right to feel that, but some of us might say that in a truly intimate sexual relationship, hopefully one wouldn't feel repulsed.

And if a guy came on and said I love licking pussy, what's the problem? - would it be ok to say he is facilitating/promoting/voicing abusive control?

[SparklingStars10]

@Parkerwhereareyou - I’ve had cum on various parts of my body, I’ve also had it in my mouth and swallowed on various occasions in the past but it doesn’t appeal to me anymore and my husband is fine with that.
I have no objection to what others choose to do in a relationship, as long as both parties are comfortable and that is what is most important, establishing your own boundaries.

[Annwen]

I've always liked it deep in my vagina and the feeling usually makes me cum soon after. Even when I was using condoms in my dating days it still felt amazing, but best of all was when we were TTC recently. I'm pregnant now and still loving it there

[Deathgrip]

[quote Parkerwhereareyou]@Deathgrip

I was in a relationship with a porn addict which was abusive, and due to previous abuse I went along with a lot of things I didn’t actually enjoy. Even convinced myself that I did enjoy these things when actually much of it was traumatic for me

I'm v sorry you had to endure that. So it's a trauma that has put you off forever, of course. I was making a light comment and not referring to sexual and other abuse survivors.

I was just trying (lightly) to work out what the objection was (aside from extreme trauma).

I think I don't like the idea that it is automatically degrading. So then is it not also degrading for a man to have his face (face) between you legs and covered in you? Isn't that the same?

And what would the response be if a guy came on and said licking pussy is disgusting and degrading and abusive? Ok his right to feel that, but some of us might say that in a truly intimate sexual relationship, hopefully one wouldn't feel repulsed.

And if a guy came on and said I love licking pussy, what's the problem? - would it be ok to say he is facilitating/promoting/voicing abusive control? [/quote]
I’ve seen too many comments from men along the lines of “I would ruin her face” or “I would destroy her face” to see it as anything other than degrading. I found some pretty dark corners of the internet while dealing with my previous situation which opened my eyes to the sort of intent I was dealing with. Of course you’re absolutely within your right to not find it degrading and to enjoy it - I can’t help believing that it is, but that view is formed by my experiences, and someone with different experiences may feel differently about it. There is plenty of discussion online around why this particular act seems degrading to many, but I’m not able to look up that content as I would find it too distressing. Perhaps you could have a look, if you genuinely want to understand that viewpoint. I am not doing a brilliant job at articulating it as it’s a painful topic for me.

My unease about this particular act didn’t start with abuse, but the abuse certainly cemented it.

I don’t feel you can compare this specific act to the one you’ve chosen, for myriad reasons.

[Parkerwhereareyou]

@Deathgrip

I promise you I am absolutely the last person to be unsympathetic as I too have been on the receiving end of some of the behaviour you describe (and not from my long term avid I've partner - from one other person in particular, who took advantage of my vulnerability).

Maybe I went the other way in my reaction. From when I very first encountered semen, I was amazed by it and loved it. (Bloody hell, now there's a line?!) ... so when later something bad happened, I was like, no way is that bad thing going to change how I feel about having semen all over me in consensual sex.

I'm so sorry and I have seen the odd bit of such shocking porn that I switched it off immediately.

I think then I'll change my point: if you love and feel properly respected by the partner, and are not triggered by it, then ideally it would be fine for him to do this.

[Parkerwhereareyou]

Meant long term abusive partner

[Rgy3250999]

@Parkerwhereareyou It’s nothing like a man not wanting to lick a woman’s vagina. People that don’t want it on their face aren’t necessarily refusing to give oral sex. Many love giving oral but when the pleasure is nearly over, they don’t want it shooting all over their face. A direct comparison would be expecting men to rub their entire face all over their partners wet vagina as she orgasms. This just doesn’t happen and would be quite strange. My husband says that by the time he is cumming, he doesn’t care where it goes and it adds nothing to it to do it over a woman’s boobs/ass/face or wherever. For us though, what would happen afterwards is I would rush off to wash my face and peel cum out of my hair and eyelashes, instead of laying together and snuggling.

[Parkerwhereareyou]

@Rgy3250999

This just doesn’t happen and would be quite strange.

Actually it does but that's ok. (I won't start on that!)

I don't wash it off my face and eyelashes and hair. Well, maybe later/the next morning.

I do make sure it doesn't go in my eyes though.

I think it's just different for lots of us.

[jessstan2]

It's supposed to be good for the skin, isn't it, or maybe that's just an urban myth.

I've done it a few times when young but can't imagine it regularly. I think you have to be in for a 'session' to want that sort of thing. When you have young kids, a quickie suffices :-).

[Parkerwhereareyou]

@jessstan2

It's supposed to be good for the skin, isn't it, or maybe that's just an urban myth.

It IS good for the skin. Very. Makes it all shiny. That's why I leave it on for a while, until it dries.

So: here's an idea. A gentleman should listen, and if you say 'please just gently - a little here on this cheek - and this - and mind my eyes and nostrils' - he could try. And then rub it in.

Make it into a proper facial?

[monkehsee]

If I'm giving him a BJ or we are doing a 69 then in my mouth, if we are having sex then in my vagina, if I'm giving him a hand job then over me

[Heathcliff27]

Normally inside me or on my breasts. Love the feeling of it on me and feel very sexy rubbing it into my breasts