Women's bodies

[bodyworries]

I have name changed for this as don't want it linking to other threads. What do men honestly think of older (post 40) women's bodies who have been through childbirth (think c section shelf) have bit of extra weight and spider veins etc...

I know people will come on and say oh the right guy won't care and I would agree etc but what if you are just after a bit of fun? I don't want to undress and be found to be hideous!

Everyone is different.
Sadly some men will mind, some men wont mind for a quickie but would for a ltr and some wont mind at all. The difficultly us knowing in advance but confidence is sexy so go into it thinking you have the body of a goddess!

Its just one of those things I’m afraid. some women would never have sex with a bald guy or a short guy and heaven forbid a short bald guy.....

This is one of the greatest misconceptions in my opinion.

Can I ask you what you think of the frame around the Mona Lisa?

Or, have you never noticed it because you are looking at the interesting bit instead?

Men are seriously just so grateful that nudity and sexy time is on the cards that they will be so engrossed in enjoying your enigmatic smile that they won't notice a smudge on the frame.

Be confident, and enthusiastic and that more than makes up for it.

Any man who has sex with a woman in her 40s and who is a mother, but expects her to have the body of an 18 year old is some kind of idiot.

If you cannot have confidence in your body's appearance, then you have to be prepared to fake it until you can make it as women who have things like stretch marks, scars, and spider veins are tremendously attractive. That is the case for both a bit of fun and relationships.

I think the fake it until you make it is the key here - I don't think I'm hideous but I suppose best described as having signs of wear and tear. I also don't want to have to pre warn anyone but also I look quite good in clothes (scaffolding underwear) and worry that once they are off the man in question is appalled to have a woman with a few extra curves

@jennytheonionslayer I love that analogy!

I'm 46 and no longer compare myself to younger women. There is no comparison! I bring much more to the party than just my body... I have experience!

Confidence is hugely attractive. Even if I feel a bit wobbly, I'd never try to cover up or apologise . Much better to own it. If you act like you're the most gorgeous woman he's ever laid eyes on, he'll see you as such.

He’s probably not in quite as good a condition as he once was and may have just as many insecurities as you do.

Most blokes love well-upholstered mumsiness. Don’t believe me? Look at some artistic renditions of older ladies.

I'm 47 and have had 2 children.
Maybe I am completely deluded but I think my body looks the same as my 20s.

Either that or my eyes are starting to go along with everything else. But then, so are my husband's and most of the other men I meet for that matter. So it's all good.

The American comedian Don McMillan says the secret to a long and happy marriage is when your eyesight and your partner's looks deteriorate at exactly the same rate.

Guys do care about attractiveness, and I don't agree with the PP that stated "men are seriously just so grateful". If anyone is grateful for sex, then you shouldn't be having sex with them.

As another PP said, confidence and attitude is hugely attractive. Men are very visual for sure, but it's how a women present herself, not the fine details of lumps and bumps.

If someone is attracted enough to you to be in a position to have sex, then rest assured, they're not going to find you hideous once the clothes come off.

To be attractive (to me) is made up of so many variables, sometimes intangible and I know this is true for the majority of men, a smile and confidence on one persons may not be as intriguing as shyness and a sense of awkwardness on another. Glam, lips tits and teeth have their place but so does windswept rain sodden hair and mud in a running group, just as laughing at something crude can get you going just as much as eloquent, passionate discourse on human rights.

But... if there's one thing that women should do is please, stop the obsessive comparison with your peers and the shame over the natural shape of your bodies, the fascination for men is in the difference, the variety of beauty that you present, the stories that your bodies can tell, and if you give us the chance to be part of that in the closest possible way then we are grateful, delighted and privileged. Any 'man' that doesn't believe that isn't worth your time.

Amen to the one blessing of poor eyesight. Both of us have terrible eyesight so once the glasses are off, it’s all feel rather than look and that is fantastic! Anyway despite its size and other flaws, I love my body: it’s got me this far, it’ll get me to the end, it’s given life and love, it gives me huge pleasure. A man who isn’t bowled over by my body when given the opportunity is an idiot in my book! So OP, let your love for yourself shine through and everything else will be fine.

I think men are totally bothered by it, just like a lot of women are put off by a small penis.

I personally love my wife's post pregnancy body although she does not have the same affection for it, always comparing it to her 21yr old self. We all change as we age and especially for women after children. To me her stretch marks, droopy and wobbly bits (her terms) are part of her achievement of baring and raising my DC's and remind me of her absolve and determination during labour, I sure couldn't have done that. To me dressing elegantly and being confident are highly attractive, fake eyelashes, mad clown eyebrows, orange tans, and trowelled on make up are not.

Jesus I hope blindness isn't the only hope for women who have a few lumps and bumps after 40

It was a joke

I think body confidence plays a big part in this. I am a size 8/10, I have no stretch marks after having my 3 children and I get a lot of compliments on my figure but I have no body confidence at all, I don’t like having sex and getting naked in the light and am my most comfortable when the lights are dimmed.

I'm 31. My stomach is abit gross since having my kids. But people think I'm slim and I get compliments about the weight I've lost. Underneath my top I've got stretch marks. It's also wrinkly. My belly button is streteched out of its old shape. The Puch from having my baby is uneven so it seems to hang slightly on one side.

My boobs are a 34c. They have got smaller since my second child and also have stretch marks. I get compliments on my hair. I think my face is average. Got a pointy nose. Happy with my complexion and smile. I dislike my legs. They have always been short and muscular. Would love skinny legs. Partner says they are sexy like dancers legs. I won't wear a dress because I hate them.

Sounds abit weird. But Google is your friend. Look at some real women online that have done surveys and things. Some have volunteered to show post birth bodies.

Look at Marilyn Monroe.

I watched abit of a gross program last year. A women took photos of women's vaginas and asked them to talk about them. I did watch it and feel abit yuck but the point behind the program was to make us understand we are all different. It's only been the last few years I've realised a women's vaginas isn't all tucked in neatly and their bikini lines can grow much further than you expect due to models.

Models and filters are everything that's wrong with this world. Ofcourse men will like you! Men love women of all shapes.

I suspect men like clean tidy women who have a great personality.

Ofcourse they will find the obvious women gorgeous in the celebrity/model world. But most women are just normal with imperfections.

Sorry to waffle on and talk about the vagina program lol!!! But we need to realise what's real and what's not. X

@Melonslicexx that is a really good post. It was only when I started watching embarrassing bodies that I realised women's vaginas could be out and not tucked in! I am curvy and have nice hips and boobs I suppose my c section shelf is my worse bit for me and I think might gross out a guy going down on me to look up and see that iyswim? I guess like the PP who is an 8-10 having confidence is key!

Hi OP

I'm afraid it's one of those questions that is just impossible to answer. Probably I'm not qualified tip comment as the only woman's body I've been close up with in the last two decades is my wife's. But I will say that she keeps herself very fit, and that does make a (good) difference to me. I think it's not true to say that weight doesn't matter - for me at least. Still, it's one factor among many.

I am overweight (obese size 20-22) and honestly it's all fake it until you make it.
I have no problems getting guys that society deems out of my league.
It's all my faux confidence
I actually believe it to an extent now, I am more than my body

"Look at Marilyn Monroe."

What about Marilyn Monroe? She had a conventionally perfect body.

"I don't agree with the PP that stated "men are seriously just so grateful"."

Men's complaints on here are enough to prove that men aren't always just so grateful.

You don't have to look like a sex goddess to actually have sex like one. Simples!

every man is different and likes different things. I don’t think many would be that bothered as they like you enough to want to sleep with you. Most of the filtering out is done at the dating site swiping stage for me.