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zoomzoghedgehog · 2020-07-11T14:08:50+00:00

Hi myself and my partner havnt made love in a year as he is waiting for to be circumcised and it's very painful. Breaks my heart for him. He's never been one to go down on me or anything. I'm literally horny all the time, I masturbate at least once a day. God it's so tough on us both. Think will have a dirty weekend away when we can finally make love.

SuperJan · 11/07/2020 18:36

I would have given him an ultimatum at the "never been one to go down on me or anything" point.

Fingers?

Original poster

zoomzoghedgehog · 11/07/2020 18:37

No he never has used fingers. This is so tough

OP posts:

allfalldown47 · 11/07/2020 18:47

I'm sorry but in your shoes 'my heart' would not be 'breaking' for him!
So he isn't interested in your pleasure at all? What exactly are you missing?!

RickDeckard · 11/07/2020 18:53

Why is it taking over a year to get booked in for a simple circumcision procedure?

seekingwaxwings · 11/07/2020 18:54

Wtf? What is wrong with him? I wouldn't be putting up with that, what a selfish man!

He could be using a vibrator to make you cum if he doesn't want to touch you with his hands or mouth.

Littlemix1 · 11/07/2020 20:40

Doesn't sound like your missing much.

Alonelonelyloner · 11/07/2020 21:08

Sorry but I agree with PPs. He sounds remarkably selfish. Damn.

SuperJan · 11/07/2020 22:17

If he's not prepared to go down on you or use his fingers or do anything else to help you sexually now, it's not very likely he'll do it after he's had his circumcision.

You can't cure sexual selfishness with an op.

Original poster

zoomzoghedgehog · 11/07/2020 22:29

Sex has never been a huge part of us apart from when we were first together. It took a long while to wait for an appointment then because of covid it got cancelled. Just had the appointment and now on waiting list.
Does it frustrate me the lack of helping me feel fulfilled? Yes. Is it a dealbreaker? No. I love him and I love our family and life.
I will have that conversation about it when he has had the operation because I do think our sex life needs more spark.

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MorganKitten · 11/07/2020 22:31

Maybe one of the remote toys so he can activate it, if he’s not feeling comfortable with doing it himself. It would be a deal breaker for me though.

jessstan2 · 11/07/2020 22:36

Why has he been waiting a year, is it that expensive to have circumcision performed privately? In London, £5-600.

If you are both working I'm sure you would think nothing of taking out a loan to buy a car or using a credit card for a holiday (when w can have holidays). It would be money well spent to go private for this unless you know your man is coming to the top of the waiting list. You could even go halves.

Pauljohnson123 · 12/07/2020 00:02

This is the perfect time to teach him to be more adventurous

PhilCornwall1 · 12/07/2020 04:33

@jessstan2

Why has he been waiting a year, is it that expensive to have circumcision performed privately? In London, £5-600.

If you are both working I'm sure you would think nothing of taking out a loan to buy a car or using a credit card for a holiday (when w can have holidays). It would be money well spent to go private for this unless you know your man is coming to the top of the waiting list. You could even go halves.

5 to 600 quid? 2 grand more like. Double ouch!!

Namechangedyorkshire · 12/07/2020 07:55

@zoomzoghedgehog . I agree with pre post. Your DP can get circumcised privately for circa £6-700. DH had done and private was better as they can use different methods such as using a ring type clamp but also glue for stitches with other methods. I for one love it now he has had it done.

However, I don't think circumcision is any answer to your problems. Reading another of your posts where you describe going to swing clubs and having the biggest cock going, I don't understand why you are with a man that won't use his fingers, tongue or even a vibrator on you. Seems a little strange to me? Getting cut won't solve that

jessstan2 · 12/07/2020 09:48

Phil, it really is £5-600 in London. I checked. It's a small procedure that generally doesn't require being an in patient and includes follow up. That is still a lot of money for many people to fork out in one go but I wouldn't have thought it was beyond the reach of most couples.

Original poster

zoomzoghedgehog · 12/07/2020 10:45

I wish I had that money spare! I have no savings

OP posts:

Original poster

zoomzoghedgehog · 12/07/2020 10:50

Yes I've been sexually adventurous but what everyone needs to realise is I love this man with all my heart. He is my best friend. Is it hard this? Yes it is but our relationship goes beyond sex, it's very difficult to explain.

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BrownEyedLady6899 · 12/07/2020 11:57

Did he like engaging in oral sex when you met him?
Are you happy to give oral and not receive it in return?
Personally, it would be a problem for me, if I was happy to pleasure my partner and they wasn’t happy to pleasure me in return, it is unfair.
However, there is also more to a relationship than sex I agree, you either have a choice to discuss with him and see if you can make changes so you are both being sexually fulfilled, if you communicate your needs, he should listen and make changes, or you have to accept it’s a part of your relationship that isn’t fulfilled.

namechangedyorkshire · 12/07/2020 17:04

@zoomzoghedgehog

Why does he need circumcising ?

Signoftimes · 12/07/2020 17:34

Ok, I may not be popular with this but as a guy who had to go through this myself I wanted to point out something that may or may not be true for your partner

Due to the constant issues I experienced it got to the point that each time I had an erection my foreskin which was trying to heal would tear again (sorry if to much info). It made it very very painful and I remember the challenges that brought at the time as you cannot always control it.

But if you are getting intimate with someone, even if the attention is all on her then you will get an erection and it’s bloody painful

As I say, it may be a difference situation for your partner but I wanted to share a different viewpoint

Hope he gets the op soon, I guess Covid hasn’t helped. Once done it’s as quick as the stitches dissolve

TomorrowsPrincess · 12/07/2020 18:13

You defend the lack of sexual attention your man is giving you by saying sex is/was never really important.
But then say your horny all the time and masturbate at least once a day??
Which one is it?
Why is he ignorant to your sexual needs because his aren't/can't be met right now?
I think you need to have words about how your feeling...... and teach him to go down on you and how to use his hands on you.
I couldn't live with a man who didn't at least find it a turn on to put his hands all over his woman and make her cum

PhilCornwall1 · 13/07/2020 04:21

@jessstan2

Phil, it really is £5-600 in London. I checked. It's a small procedure that generally doesn't require being an in patient and includes follow up. That is still a lot of money for many people to fork out in one go but I wouldn't have thought it was beyond the reach of most couples.

That's a surprise. When I looked online the Nuffield were quoting 2 grand.

At 5 to 600 quid, I'd get it done asap privately, even if it went on a card. That could be paid off pretty quickly.

jessstan2 · 13/07/2020 05:34

It depends how important it is - to him. There may be more to this scenario than the op realises.

Original poster

zoomzoghedgehog · 13/07/2020 15:36

He is in awful pain little tears in skin and when he gets an erection he cries with the pain.

I agree we need to improve our sex life but I'm not leaving him because of it x

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mellowww · 14/07/2020 03:59

@zoomzoghedgehog

He is in awful pain little tears in skin and when he gets an erection he cries with the pain. I agree we need to improve our sex life but I'm not leaving him because of it x

Well as sign of times said, most likely he doesn't come anywhere near you as doesn't want to get turned on then cry with pain ... !

I'd somehow find the £500 and go private. Especially if they have nicer more modern methods 😬☺️