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Vaginal tightening surgery?

86 replies

WreckTangle95 · 16/05/2020 20:35

Hello everyone. Has anyone had vaginal tightening surgery done? Can you tell me what the recovery was like, and are you happy with the results? I've had four children and I'm seriously considering paying to get this done but can't really find out much about it. I've spoken to my GP who said it often causes more problems than not, and women can experience painful penetration for months or even years afterwards etc. She said she wouldn't recommend it, but the online reviews I've seen are all great. Obviously if I go ahead there's no turning back so I'm trying to get as much info as possible!

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tvjunkie · 16/05/2020 23:40

Why would you do that??

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StarlightLady · 17/05/2020 07:30

I have no experience to help you but l do know that in France, which spends a far greater proportion of the GDP on healthcare than the UK, vaginal exercises, with a specialist, are a key thing after each birth. It is considered important for sexual health, wellbeing and helps prevent incontinence developing with age. Sadly, nothing similar is done here. Maybe this answers the poster who asked why would you do that?

Given the issues that your GP outlined, it might be worth exploring non surgical solutions first. Good luck and research well.

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WreckTangle95 · 17/05/2020 09:16

Thanks @StarlightLady. I've been to physio and been doing plenty of kegal excersise, and have no trouble holding urine and I don't leak etc so I don't think it's weak pelvic muscles that are the problem

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Howzaboutye · 17/05/2020 09:18

Pilates with a proper instructor is your solution! Not surgery

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WreckTangle95 · 17/05/2020 09:27

Can you tell me more @Howzaboutye?

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Hopoindown31 · 18/05/2020 00:05

Can I ask why you want it done? Most things I've heard of are just a tightening of the entrance to the vagina. Maybe better for him, but lots of potential pain for her.

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WreckTangle95 · 18/05/2020 06:35

I don't want to go into detail, but I feel like I really need it done

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Normalmumandwife · 18/05/2020 06:51

I recall my mum telling me of a discussion when young with her grandmother. When they had babies and needed stitching for the midwife to ask the new mum if she would like an extra stitch for her husband LOL

So I think that was an early version. Not sure I would fancy it though. Exercises sound good but sounds like you have a specific issue OP

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WreckTangle95 · 18/05/2020 07:44

I don't know anyone in real life who's had it done, and I don't want to do it if the risks far outweigh the benefits. Obviously all the reviews I read on the real self website etc are great and say the surgery changed their life but I doubt they are going to show the ones that say they wish they hadn't done it are they?

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achillesratty · 18/05/2020 14:00

My sister in law had this done after giving birth to two giants (10lb and 12lb+). She regrets it every day, she did have a degree of incontinence which is one of the reasons she went ahead.

They basically cut your vagina and then stitch it back together tighter and smaller. Since she has had it done she has had constant bladder infections that became so bad the infection tracked up to her kidneys and she has been hospitalised for this numerous times. The surgery left her too tight and she had to use dilators to make it bigger (or face more surgery).

It took about five years before she could even think of having sex again and even now it's uncomfortable and usually ends with yet another bladder infection. It has put an immense strain on her marriage, she had had depression and now has to take strong painkillers every day. As I said she regrets ever having the surgery and wishes she had just had the incontinence dealt with.

Unfortunately once your vagina has been hacked about there is no going back. I could understand it if you had severe incontinence but for a possibly tighter vagina no way. If anything goes wrong it can really be devastating.

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xpc316e · 18/05/2020 14:15

Wow, that is a very powerful, and distressing tale from achillesratty. There is no way that I'd have it done, but I am not a woman. Having said that, there is also no way that I as a man would apply any pressure whatsoever for a partner to consider such a potentially disastrous operation.

I would recommend that you accept that your body has produced four children and that those wonderful births will mean that it has changed. You can by all means work on improving what Nature has dealt you with exercises, but I wouldn't be looking for a surgeon's scalpel to make things better.

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WreckTangle95 · 18/05/2020 15:44

Thanks so much for replying @achillesratty. That sounds absolutely awful, and I think my GP had dealt with a patient who had experienced something very similar. I just feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. I don't see how myself or the person I was having sex with could even enjoy it with the way it is now. But I certainly don't want to go without for the rest of my life. I was told when I was pregnant it would go back to normal, and when it didn't, it was very disappointing.

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achillesratty · 18/05/2020 16:35

To be honest my brother (who is not great at discussing such things) said after the second baby (12lb one Shock) sex was like getting into his car and someone had moved the seat and mirrors around and it took a few tries for him able to into the right position (she obviously didn't marry him for his sensitivity Grin) but after that he never noticed and was extremely happy with their sex life.

My brother is a bit of a "bloke" and doesn't express himself well but he absolutely adores my sister in law and hates what has happened to her, he didn't want her to have the surgery as he never thought it was an issue. When she told him why she was having it done (she thought she was too loose), he told her not to be daft.

She also been told that after being cut and stitched she has a higher risk of a prolapse in future as she gets older and the muscles weaken and thin. Her surgeon told her he and many other gynecologists think that vaginal tightening surgery should never be carried out unless it's for a severe prolapse or reconstruction after cancer etc, it's too risky and the surgeons who do it are not always specialists in reconstruction just in general surgery which is shocking.

In the US there have been studies that show it makes absolutely no difference to a woman's pleasure and they are banned from saying it does in certain States and there are law suits pending from women who are in a similar situation to my sister in law.

Please think long and hard about what you want to do and if you decide to go ahead don't go to a cosmetic surgeon, you could ask for a gynecology referral on the NHS and get an unbiased opinion from someone who isn't trying to sell you surgery for profit.

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WreckTangle95 · 18/05/2020 16:56

I did get referred on the NHS to a gynecologist after my third baby, and they agreed to do a perineoplasty ( which is basically vaginal canal tightening). Not long after this I found out I was pregnant again so that put everything on hold. When I went back after my fourth baby, it was a different gynecologist as the one I had seen previously had retired, and he said no way in hell was he going to do it. He said he wouldn't be able to sleep at night. I just can't get my head around that first doctor saying I really did need it done. Hence why I'm considering going private. It's just such a hard decision to make. I'm still young too so I feel like my sex life will be completely down the pan if I don't do it, which I really don't want!

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WreckTangle95 · 18/05/2020 17:15

@xpc316e would you honestly be able to be in a relationship with someone where you could hardly feel anything during sex though? I still haven't done it since having DC4 but I imagine that's what it would be like.

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xpc316e · 18/05/2020 17:58

WreckTangle95 I would find new ways of making sure that we both felt something during sex if things had changed. Sex is very much an emotional thing; it isn't all about the physical sensations. I have made love to women with vaginas of differing sizes and can honestly say that I do not have any preferences at all. I feel that many women are conditioned into believing that they need a vagina about the size of a mouse's earhole in order to satisfy a man - and that is not true. Women are all different and all are beautiful.

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WreckTangle95 · 18/05/2020 18:21

@xpc316e that's really good to hear. I'm sure there will be other women who read this, either now or in the future who will be comforted by what you have written too. On the other hand I've spoken to male friends etc who have said tighter is definitely way better, and I've heard plenty of jokes about women being looser after giving birth. I would just hate my partner to be really disappointed with my body! I suppose it's maybe about finding someone who knows there's more to sex than the size and appearance of the genetalia involved, rather than undergoing surgery that could do more harm than good.

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Normalmumandwife · 19/05/2020 07:04

OP. Don't forget that "tightness" is a combination of how tight you are against how large he is.

I wouldn't want to go through surgery if everything else is working but it isn't clear whether that's the case?

I think a lot of women that have surgery have vaginaplasty which is more reshaping the look of their vagina. It seems less fashionable if you have more visual lips as oppose to a neat slit (sorry if TMI) but I don't think this helps with internal size at all. I found in strange when my now DH complimented me on being so "neat". I sometimes wonder what he would have said if I wasn't!!!!

I know it is distressing to you but such radical surgery would be very painful and probably unnecessary. What does your DH think?

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WreckTangle95 · 19/05/2020 07:31

I don't have a DH.

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WreckTangle95 · 19/05/2020 07:33

And I'm not talking about labiaplasty. Its something that focuses completely on the vaginal canal

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Normalmumandwife · 19/05/2020 07:36

@WreckTangle95

Sorry...made an assumption you have a DH/DP.
Why not try posting in Health forum for more traffic?

Good luck and hope,you find some who can give good advice but I think younger doctors are sometimes better switched on to risk

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WreckTangle95 · 19/05/2020 07:42

Thanks @Normalmumandwife, I wasn't sure where to post this to be honest. I think if I was with the person I'd had babies with I wouldn't mind as much, as they would have been there throughout it all iyswim? But starting with someone new is a really scary prospect to me. Especially if it's someone who hasn't been with a woman who has had kids before, I don't think I could do it. I think my love life is on hold until I get this sorted!

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xpc316e · 19/05/2020 10:00

WreckTangle95, thanks for the compliment. I wonder whether those men who express a preference for tighter vaginas are just subscribing to a bar room stereotype in which they are expected to tell their drinking buddies they like their women to have blonde hair (whether or not it comes out of a bottle), large breasts, long legs, etc. For me, it's a teenage thing that a lot of men never leave behind.

I am also pretty sure that even media aimed at consumption by women perpetuates the same notions. For most women childbirth brings change to their body and in some respects no amount of either exercise, or surgery, will return things to a pre-baby state. If you have any insecurities about either your body in general, or your vagina in particular, then may I state that the sexiest and most attractive thing a woman can have is not a tight vagina, pert boobs, a flat tummy, or an absence of stretch marks - it is confidence in her body and being happy in her own skin.

Best wishes.

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Cinderella25 · 19/05/2020 12:07

I was as thinking about getting one. I had a baby 2 years ago and never noticed any tightening. I too was told I would go back otherwise I don’t think I would of had a child. Most people I know have had c-sections and are very happy.

I can’t really feel much anymore, so I understand why you would want one. Not enjoying sex is depressing it’s not about the look.

Nobody tells women the truth they say ‘you’ll bounce back’ and ‘you won’t notice the difference’.

The truth is you don’t go back, sex is worse, your relationships will change and your confidence will go down.

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WreckTangle95 · 19/05/2020 12:14

Maybe for most women it does go back, and we are the rarity? I've heard if you need stitches after birth it heals tighter too, as scar tissue isn't stretchy. My friend who had stitches said hers is tighter than before kids now. I too would have had c sections if I knew this would happen to me. I feel like I went in blind.

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