Hi all
Namechanged for this.
Ok, recently turned 40, married for 10 years, 3 primary aged kids.
I've been on sertraline (100mg) for 2 years and have a history of anxiety/depression, with 3 cases of PND after each child, which I was also prescribed citalopram for. I guess you could say the last decade has been a little mental hormone wise with pregnancies/births/breastfeeding etc.
Before I married I had a pretty high sex drive. Sex was what cemented my relationship with my now husband. He was the first person I had both that sexual connection and emotional pull to...as well as humour etc. We still have that sexual spark and he still turns me on.
However. Obviously sex and urges have waned at times over the years as work/kids/life takes over. I've especially felt numb on the sertraline and felt I had to make an effort sexually at times.
The past few months I've slowly come off the ADs. I am over the moon but shocked at the side effects. My temper is lost a bit more, I'm more emotional I'd say and well, am obsessed with sexual thoughts.
My husband is delighted but I'm a bit all over the place. I'm a 40 year old mum, not a student who can have sex whenever she wants.
The most worrying thing is I've been thinking about men from the past, and fantasising about threesomes
.
Almost 3 years ago, I had a connection with someone through work. I was surprised as I've never even looked at anyone else. It was disconcerting and I distanced myself. I've seen him a few times since and the tension is still there. It's worried me so I have held back from being too chatty etc. I've probably come across as a bit haughty...but the reality is when he's there I get a bit lightheaded. It's a physical reaction. When he kissed me on the cheek to say goodbye once I forgot to breathe. Again- wtf. I'm past all this surely?
Nothing has ever happened with this man, although I can't deny I've thought about him. I don't see him at all, though he is in the public eye and I do think about him again when I see him.
It just feels incredibly disloyal. Add to that a school dad recently has been in my head when I'm having sex, and an old flame liked a pic of me and some old mates on instagram, and I began thinking about him...
I hate it. I'm going as far as to suggest an open relationship for the next couple of years so I can get it out my system. Have sex with the work guy and put it to bed..excuse the pun. I'd never cheat. Either that or go back on the ads, or something to control hormones. Is this normal? Does it pass? It's driving me fucking mad.