Swingers clubs

[ToSwingOrNot]

Name change ...

I’m considering visiting a sex club/ swingers club with my FB and have a few questions which I hoping to get some honest answers to ..
I’m 48 years young and my buddy is a little younger. We met on Fab and we’ve been together for a few months. I like him, and he likes me but I’m not overly body confident nor confident with my looks and am worried that I’ll become very self conscious and jealous.
So, what can I expect when I walk through the doors ?!
What should I wear and what should I change into ?
Is it best to go out of town rather than stay in my local city ?
Is is best to go later in the evening rather than when the doors open?
What happens if my FB’s jaw hits the floor and goes off with someone else ?
Has anyone found that it puts an end to their relationship ?

What if YOUR jaw hits the floor and YOU go off with someone else?

You need to have a long chat with your FB, and discuss what you both want out of visiting a swingers club. Are you planning to just play together, or are you looking to join in with someone else / another couple, etc etc.

Bear in mind that you don’t have to do anything - you can just go and look. Generally, most people are friendly, and respectful, and understand that no means no, although there are pushy single guys that spoil things for those of us that aren’t…

All ages, sizes and shapes go to singles clubs. Believe me, you won’t stand out!

What you can expect depends where you go. I’ve only experienced a couple of clubs, so can’t give you too many specifics, but generally, they will have a communal area, like a bar, changing rooms, and some “play rooms”. Some have dark rooms, glory holes, pools, hot tubs, saunas etc.

Wear something sexy. Be as daring as you feel! Maybe something that you might have worn clubbing, and maybe take a negligee to change into? Just a suggestion.

As to where to go, it depends. I go to local clubs, as I’m not bothered if I run into someone I know, but you may feel differently. Fab has a great list of clubs, and you can always post something on the forums for feedback on a specific club.

I’d go in a bit later, as things don’t tend to liven up until after 10:30 ish, but your mileage may vary!

I can’t answer what affect it will have on your relationship, sorry. It may get worse, it may fail, it may get 100 times better! - which is why communication is key.

Feel free to pm me if you think I can be of any more help.

I meant swingers clubs, but you knew that, right?

Well this thread is well timed for me! I visited a swingers club for the first time this weekend and had an absolute ball!

I went with a guy I've recently started dating, so can't really say how it's affected or will affect our relationship. But we did have long chats about it first as he'd been before whereas I hadn't.

We stayed at the venue we visited which was great. Arrived and checked in then headed down to the club at around 10 ish.

I wore a dress no different to what I'd normally wear to a nice club or bar, although it was a sexy short number with a thigh split and the highest heels I own!

It was like any traditional bar to be honest - only exception being the pole in the middle of the dance floor!

People were dressed in regular smart clothes but what I sensed was that everyone was 'sizing each other up' as at the end of the day most of you are there for the same reason.

After a few vodkas I threw caution to the wind and we went and explored the playrooms. We had to 'dress down' for this which meant either go nude or wear lingerie and/or a towel. I did take lingerie but ended up stripping in the changing room and going in nude with a towel.

Trust me, there were all sorts of people in there. Various shapes and sizes and I've honestly not felt as liberated or empowered in my whole life!

There was a hot tub and different areas to play in which became very busy from about midnight onwards.

We stuck together, so no one else involved and what I did enjoy was chatting to people as they all seemed really friendly and put me at ease when I said it was my first time.

I'm not really a jealous person, but I know there were women there who found my guy attractive and there were men who seemed to like me (I think!) but because we'd agreed previously we wouldn't involve others it wasn't a problem. And weirdly I got a kick out of it, as did he!

Personally I'd prefer to visit a club more further afield so I reduce the risk of running into someone I know but at the end of the day if they're there...what can they say?

I'd say communication is key, both before, during and after your visit.

It's one of the horniest things I've done and we're already planning to go back!

Happy to answer any more questions but I say just go for it! Fake it til you make it as they say... sexiest thing is confidence and a smile Good luck!

Thank for your replies @AverageGuy & @Nolongeranovice ... I was starting to wonder if I was the only one on here with a little kinky side 😉

I suppose I am a little scared of opening Pandora's box, shall we say, although I do think I would probably really enjoy it.
I am a very social person and love flirting so would probably be very comfortable once I've had a drink or two.

Is it weird though to want to go with a girlfriend or with someone other than my fb for the first time ? Although the sex between us is very good maybe we don't quite have that sense of humour connection yet that I would need ?

I'm probably thinking too much into things, as always, and should just pull up my big girls pants, take control and say let's go 😬

OP
You are so not alone in being a little kinky... You and nolongeranovice have just been (perhaps) more honest than others...

Going with a girlfriend will definitely get you (both!) more attention than going with your FB...

If you are thinking about doing that, definitely talk to your FB first, to make sure they are happy with the possibility that things may go further in the club than you had planned (iyswim).

Go for it! You are only young once, and you are dead a loooooong time!

Hey really intr3in these threads as something I been wanting to do for ages but pregnant again so won't be for awhile! I was thinking of killing kittens has anyone been there? Also what's the age range like we're late 20s. Also worried some of the fancy venues like killing kittens be full of like super model looking people and mainly everyone being 21.

Interested in*

herewego
I don't know much about kk, other than it looked expensive...

Generally, the age range for swingers is very wide, like 18 - 80. I think kk tries to "aim" itself at the, shall we say, younger end of the range.

shock warning
Apparently, there are people out there that like to play with a pregnant woman...

Well I definitely won't be going to killing kittens (although I love the name) as I'm at the tender age of 48 !!! although today I got told that I look 42 ... I'll take that ;-)

Killing Kittens is def a young and beautiful crowd but they now have Silver Kittens for over 40s...
But I prefer swingers clubs, they're much more relaxed and not all about looks.
Communication is key, and like PP said there's absolutely no pressure to join in, just go along as a voyeur and see where the evening takes you , it's a lot of fun!

Just had a quick look at the Killing kittens website !! It's like it Fab for Vogue readers 🤔

Jeez I'm a newbie to the scene as my user name suggests... but bloody hell, killing kittens and silver kittens?! How demeaning!

Wouldn't even bother going there after reading that!

From what you've said OP I think a club that encompasses all would suit you best 👍🏼

And yes yes to going with a friend! Like averageguy said upthread, you'll get so much more attention than going with your FB.

There were women there together (as friends) the club I went to at the weekend, and whilst they didn't play they drew quite a crowd!

Wish I had friends that were so open minded to join me but sadly they're all married or coupled up and even if I did divulge it I reckon they'd look down their nose at me

Come with me 😬

I honestly just want to go and see what it's like before I go with my buddy, no intentions of playing with anyone else !!
He should be encouraging me to go actually as I may love it and want to go back ... with him 😉

Quest in Leeds gets some good reviews but some have said too many single guys who can't keep their hands to themselves !!
Do you usually have to become members of the club or did you just pay on the door ?
They also have themed nights so I'm going to have to do some research.

op,
it depends on the club. Some want you to become "members", and some let you pay on the door, although I suspect that if you went as a single lady, or with a female friend, you would be let in for free... Have to get the male punters in somehow...

I'd be very happy to escort you... Unfortunately, Leeds is a little far for me to travel..

Let us know how you get on!

So why do you think I have reservations about going with my 6'3", super fit, VWE, very handsome, well he's alright, 39yr old FB ?
Do you think it's the lack of trust because I really don't know him or lack of confidence in myself in being a super sassy lady ?
I know I'm over thinking things, as always, and if it doesn't go well then we'll probably be over, but I met him on Fab so we're hardly bf/gf material are we !!!
And my gf isn't up for going until she's had a few months at the gym (!) and has had her knee op and off her crutches 😂
I'm a eager beaver and need to calm down but once I get an idea in my head 😬
I'll maybe message you separately @AverageGuy & @Nolongeranovice as to which venues you attend.
Thanks !!

OP,
It could be the dynamic between you?

Maybe the trust thing, after all, you haven't been together that long.
Maybe you just want to keep him to yourself!

Could be a lot of reasons.

I'm happy to answer any questions I can, but I'm down south, so may not be of any help re venues...

I'm near Leeds now but the clubs i have been to have all been down south. Some are better than others - even ones with the same name have huge differences. I've been a couple of times with an ex, once on my own and once with a FB. I've always had lots of fun, and particularly enjoy the hottubs. I think the atmosphere can be brilliant and everyone is so friendly.

Can't wait to go again!

OP I went to one with my FB and another girl we have had threesomes with in the past 😂 great night.

Feel free to pm of you have questions

hi averageguy

There's a section on FAB which includes swingers clubs under "Club Reviews" on the home page. To see the people who go, look at the reviewers. Not all are fit with the perfect body!

There’s a lot of drink and drugs at these parties too (as you would imagine) just so you’re forewarned. I mean, a LOT

@Eloisedublin123 - strange because the swingers clubs I've been to haven't been licensed to sell alcohol, it's soft drinks only though you could bring your own alcohol and put it behind the bar. Never seen anyone doing drugs either, only the odd bottle of poppers, nothing stronger.

They sell alcohol at the KK parties and that’s where I saw the harder stuff too

Ah ok.-never been there so i sit corrected.

I recently went to a place which was open to swingers and certainly there were all sorts of sizes, mainly chubbier I'd say. I'm not skinny, size 14, but after seeing everyone naked, I thought why I was worried in the first place. Everyone was really friendly and whilst I only played with my FWB, people seemed really nice.

Thanks for the replies .... your comments are really useful and reassuring to me, and hopefully to others.

I still haven't been, still a little frightened of the unknown but hopefully I'll have the nerve in the new year ;-)