Advice - photographs

[RosieBenenden]

I am 44 and DH is 57 and have been married for 23 years. 2DDs both at boarding school and life financially and socially is amazing; no complaints. We are at the point sexually where we DTD maybe once a month and I really want regular sex with DH as opposed to what we have. We hav e discussed ways to rekindle and he has asked me to agree to letting him take aset of photographs in underwear/topless/naked just for our own private use to see if it can form part of getting back into a regular sex life as a couple. Has anyone tried this and did it work? How does it feel for the woman? I am genuinely apprehensive but keen to make an informed choice.

Slightly definitely situation for me, which I won't go into, but when I started taking underwear / nude / explicit photos of myself it massively boosted my self confidence and my sex life.

Maybe try taking them yourself first? Set a day aside when you pamper yourself in the bath, get dressed up nice, set your phone on timer and see what comes out. Then you can play around with angles, lighting, filters etc. You'll probably be more pleased with the results than if your dh takes them. Then tease him by sending them to him while he's at work. Maybe go from a slight tease of the top of a stocking, to all underwear, to a naked bum shot..... etc etc.

He'll go mad for it and you'll both have a lot of fun, guarantee it!!

Maybe once your confidence has grown you could move on to him taking them?

Definitely go for it.

If you do then don’t include your face or other identifying features like tattoos birthmarks or similar

I have sometimes taken them of my wife. She quite enjoys it, she says it feels a bit naughty me telling her how to pose.
However they are done on a proper Camera so no chance to be up loaded to the cloud etc. They are deleted afterwards. Its more the taking than the end result.

digital photos can leak out of the house..

Why is everyone so paranoid about digital pics? It’s her husband for a start. And, you know, really what’s the worse that could happen 🤷🏻‍♀️

What’s the worst that can happen if a photo of you naked spreads over the internet? Ummm let’s think about that...🤦🏻‍♀️

Yeah... and??? People see you nude..... and.... it’s not really a big deal, is it? The internet is full of nude pics.

I mean likelihood + extent of potential damage vs not trusting one’s own husband? That’s some pretty extreme risk aversion IMO.

Send him some unidentifiable shots yourself first. Get him to send something back. When he resists, insist. If he plays along, you can probably trust that his intentions are all good.

@RosieBenenden . I had a pre wedding set of pics done as a pressie to husband which I gave him on our wedding night (done in a professional studio) which were nice dresses, some lingerie and if the client wanted to then semi naked, or complete. He loves them and a few years (a fair few) he asked to take some in the bedroom. Wasn't to rejuvenate our sex life as was pretty good but certainly spiced things up a lot. He loves doing if we have some child free time as you need to relax and not be worrying about being interrupted !

If I had a pound for every time I had been photographed naked orcin various states of undress, I would be richer than l am now.

I’m in my 40s now and still have some pics from my early 20s. I look back on those with pride, looking at morexrecent ones, it also shows that l haven’t worn too badly.

Yes, you have to be with someone you trust, but that goes without saying.

Back in the day, l used to model for a life painting class twice a week, there may still be a few paintings of me tucked away in people’s lofts!

Looking at my post above, my typing hasn’t improved with age.

Decided to go for it. Took all the comments on board. Totally trust my DH and will keep face hidden as suggested but going to hopefully get a buzz from the actual posing.

"If he plays along, you can probably trust that his intentions are all good."

I don't think the risk is the same for a man though.

It's something we do regularly, and it is a great turn on for both of us. Neither of us is an oil painting, but it's a great boost to see someone looking at you because they think you are sexy.

Why is everyone so paranoid about digital pics?
Because many phones and digital cameras automatically upload and share photographs, sometimes even the owners are not aware of the settings which allow this.

Automatically upload and share to where?! This isn’t possible without wilfully connecting to an app or website which would do this

Still very easy to upload automatically without being aware of it.

How??

Calm down @MsSlightyConfused, Yeah?

Just because you aren't concerned if your nudes got leaked doesn't mean we all have to be comfortable with it.

Stop pushing your opinion.

MsSlightyConfused
I can’t imagine why you keep pushing this, but some photo hosting apps have a default setting which automatically uploads the pictures you take on that device.

🤣 perfectly calm thanks @Sadiesnakes

I’m not pushing anything... do you feel pushed?

Just wondering what all the hysteria is about. Online devices do not ever just randomly upload pics onto the internet all by themselves.

I’m genuinely shocked at all this ‘Make sure your face isn’t on show’ nonsense. I think only in the world of pearl clutching MNers do people not trust their married partners to take nudes with their faces. If someone can’t feel safe giving their spouse a pic like that then I’d say they have bigger issues than the miniscule risk of their nudes joining the millions of other nudes on the internet.

@SirGawain i would assume someone taking nudes would turn off those default settings.

If they were aware of them and remembered to do it they probably would but mistakes happen.