sex only arrangements

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That’s it really. DC are now older and I have been happily single for a few years now and I don’t want a relationship, no way!
I have looked at various adult sites but find it all pretty desperate tbh, far too many MM. Could do with some tips and a few pointers in the right direction, ideally from ladies who are in a similar situation and have arrangements in place that don’t involve trailing endless internet profiles. Thanks

To find the right person, endless internet profiles is about right.

I found the nicest sex-only arrangements i have via a very small niche normal dating site. The others via hook up sites. Maybe tinder would fit the bill? More than hook ups but not unusual to be on there for that.

I can't really imagine a 'normal' relationship again, personally, but its much easier to find sex only.

I haven’t tried a dating sites except for POF and couldn’t believe how many MM were on there. Surely there must be single people out there who just want to scratch an itch and are happy being single.

I think there are probably quite a few men on here looking for the same thing as well. I’m happily separated and like the OP don’t want a relationship but like everyone else, have needs.
There you go Mumsnet - maybe you need a niche dating page on your site🙂

I'm a widow looking for a friend not a relationship if your near Essex x

Try fab swingers. It’s a swinging and hook up site. Be ready to wade through waste high cock picks. Be clear in your own head about what you want. Write a clear profile and then make sure you meet for a social first. Don’t give out your mobile number, use Kik messenger.

I have had success and it’s been a really good way of getting my itch scratched!

Cath2907,
Does it really work? I’m struggling to find any women on there who either a. are not overwhelmed with messages from men and so just don’t bother reading anymore or b. women who have been ‘verified’ by 100+ blokes and are really not what I’m looking for.

fab swingers is far easier if you are a woman but still bloody difficult for find someone decent

Adult friend finder or be naughty might be better as a bloke.

Oh and plenty of married women on these sites as well

Newman2018 - it kind of works for women, although even then it's very hard work wading through armies of desperate wankers. As a man all you can do is write a good profile and maintain an active forum profile then wait for women or couples to approach you. If you're half decent and putting some effort in you will stand out. Also attend clubs/events and then you can stay in touch with people via the site later - rather than the other way around. Men initiating conversations on the website to start with have pretty much no chance of success for the reasons you outlined.

I think the main problem with fabswingers is that it's free and attracts too many chancers. SDC is a similar paid for website and filters out people who are not serious about meeting up. Works better.

I would disagree about men waiting to be approached - I do think you have to try to make approaches. Yes there won't be that many responses unfortunately because experience teaches women on adult sites that if they say 'thanks, but sorry' they will often be badgered endlessly. However, you only need one or two to respond positively. I think I only directly contacted one person on fabswingers and one on adultfriendfinder, whereas I had chats with lots who approached me.

Chatting happens yes, but anything more than that - it's not completely impossible of course, just highly, highly unlikely and exceptionally rare. Usually the best a man can hope for is a bit of a polite chat and then to join a long waiting list with a tiny chance of ever making their way up.

Another good strategy for a man is buddying up with a female friend and playing as a couple.

Thanks for your responses. I’ve had some good success on IE rather than FabS in the past but it’s expensive and the last time I was on was a waste of time and money, including meeting someone who was looking for a proper relationship on there, which I really didn’t understand.

What's IE?

Illicit Encounters

Ah. Never heard of it. Agree that it's very expensive.

I can see the logic of women looking for proper relationships on there. It's not very honest or fair on you, if you were misled to believe otherwise, but it gives the woman access to lots more quality men than standard dating would. Particularly in 30-45 age bracket when most quality people are attached. It's sort of an equivalent / reverse version of the dishonest behaviours some of the married men display when they conveniently forget to mention it.

Well I've done a lot more than chatting but I agree from the reaction of the guys on there I seem to be relatively rare. It is very tiresome though that any attempt to filter or get to know someone before jumping in with both feet is greeted with manipulative insults or cries of 'timewaster' and if I made any kind of safety caveats I was told by the guys that they were taking just as much risk as I was. Still, I learned to screen those ones out pretty fast.

I also got a lot of 'slut' comments about the fact that I wasn't looking for one person to have a singular FWB with - shouldn't be your problem. Remarkable lack of self reflection by the men who are on those sites. Luckily I found a few men who didn't think an adult woman experimenting sexually was simultaneously an untouchable whore and a communal lavatory to piss in. But not many.

I’ve found a few guys to play with on FS. Currently enjoying a new FWB met through the site. No time for looking for anyone new right this moment. I had clear rules (read the profile being #1) and was able to weed out 50% for just sending a 1 liner and a cock photo. Anyone who couldn’t string a sentence together or assumed I wanted to be told what I wanted / needed. What was left was slim pickings and often married (another no for me).

I got there though and once I’d done it once it got easier to pick through the pile!

Cath2907

A one liner would be a good start. I have posted a profile on FS and i’m bombarded with messages just saying “Hi”

I almost prefer the totally honorable 'Hi' messages to one/several guys who cut and paste an awful 'This is how our first date would be' four paragraph hellscape of laughing in a pub over a glass of wine only for his hand to descend on my thigh etc etc. The actual sex barely gets a look in. I have plenty if people to goto the pub with so this stuff does nothing for me, especially receiving identical versions every 2 months.

Honorable?? Ignorable...

OP, have you looked amongst your own friendship circle? There is that awkward moment the first time you meet again afterwards but that passes quickly. There is really nothing wrong with having sex with good friends who understand the position. And it aleviates a lot of the pitfalls already mentioned.

I have recently entered into a hugely satisfying secret relationship with a male friend I have known for some time, both single but the same circle of friends. I've been in plenty of relationships but now want a completely unfettered arrangement. It's amazing and It's something just for me separate from the rest of my busy, stress life. It's the best fun I have had in ages, highly recommend it.
best of luck.

There are plenty of men up for 'dating nothing serious' on POF.

Would also recommend FAB have found people,very upfront and also are verified by others which you don't get on normal sites I like it so far I have said no married men or women and no just dick pics only face pics and it's free

There s a casual/nothing serious section on POF. If you word your profile correctly (innuendo/hint) you may get someone who reads between the lines and you can also vet the idiots by profile.
HTH

I met people on FAB and AFF, but my most recent FWB, last year. was from Badoo.

I had a lot of rules, for safety and also to ensure they wouldn't drive me bonkers. Yes, reading the profile was a big part. Not married. Non smoker (you'd be amazed how many people seem to think they can just not smoke for an hour before and you'll accept they are a non smoker! As if you can't tell) etc.
Met quite a few men that way around ten years ago, had a ball(s).