How many times??

[Asteve15]

Honestly how many times are you guys having sex?! DD is 2yrs old and me and DP have had sex 5 times since she was born, 2 of those being this year, is this normal, I'm starting to really wonder?

Our DC turned 4 last month. We’ve had sex 4 times since she was conceived, so that’s once a year on average. Actually we haven’t had sex for the past 2 years.

The infrequency is absolutely not normal for either you or me!

I’m the wife though and for me, it’s my husband’s issue. He no longer finds me attractive, as I’m a size 14 now.

I think from your user name that you’re a guy. If it’s your wife not wanting sex, I’d recommend making sure she isn’t tired all the time, maybe giving her some time away from the home and your little one, so she can remember herself. And compliment her. Whenever we’re going out (not that often), I’m always in a big rush and have no time to even start to feel relaxed and and I don’t feel that I actually look nice. I’ve forgotten how to be myself. Not that my husband cares if I look nice any longer, but if he did, then I might be motivated to look nicer. Not sure that makes sense. I think my libido would recover if I felt better about myself, but then I’ve have a bigger issue of feeling more rejected. And if he all of a sudden wanted more sex then, I’d feel resentful that he made me feel so ugly and awful previously. So in my case, it’s all a bit hopeless.

But for you, I hope you get back what you’re missing!

Late 50’s and all children have flown the nest. Normally 4 times a week. I’d like more but DH has a lower sex drive than me

62 empty nest , at least 3 times a week and as good as ever it has been .

Mrstabbykitten you’ve literally posted exactly how I feel. I’m a 36yr old woman and since being pregnant with my DD I’ve put on 4 stones and feel like I look absolutely disgusting, so it’s no wonder DP doesn’t want to go near me. At first it’s not been an issue cos who does really want to get back on it after having a baby but 2yrs on I feel like it would be nice, occasional. I feel awful about myself, which doesn’t help but the fact DP doesn’t want to, ever, makes me feel worse. On top of that I don’t think in the 10yrs we’ve been together he’s ever actually said I looked nice, so he defo isn’t going to say it now, sigh. Do you ever talk to your husband about it, I’ve tried but he just always say he’s too tiered for that sort of thing x

One of our neighbours had post nasal depression. Her husband is afraid of a repeat of he inseminated her again, so they haven't had sex for six years now. Not sure I could cope with that, but she seems to have resigned herself to it.

37years old with 5 kids age 4,9,12,15 & 18 all at home.....
6/7 times a week.... more or less every night.
I don't get how people can go months let alone years with out it. I know it's not everything but if I didn't have that sexual connection with my partner or him me, I think we'd both be done.
Sex is important, it's intimate and it's something we both enjoy..... yeah sometimes I'm tired, he's tired but I love the closeness it brings us when we both get into bed on a night

About once every five days or so. I'm 51 he's 46, I'd like it a bit more but he's not bothered!

Me 54. Dp 52. We make love about once a week. When we do it can be a long session😊

@TomorrowsPrincess what do you do to avoid the kids hearing you having sex (or do you assume they will hear from time to time and it’s a normal function of a loving couple)?

Our DD is 3 and it has slowly increased in frequency since she was 1. We didn’t do it all for a year after she was born (and not since week 16 of pregnancy).

It’s anything between 1 - 4 times a month at the moment, up from once every other month!

If you are interested in the stats, the Durex annual sex survey covers how often is average at various ages, and what people tend to get up to.

At least once a day if we are both working (joys of shifts) more if it's days off together.

Having both been in celibate relationships before, intimacy is very important as is making time for each other

@mathsquestions
I assume they have probably heard us at some point. But we live in a 3 storey town house and we are on the top level. My 18 year old is never in and her bedroom is on the ground floor. My 9, 12 and 15 year old are on the first floor and are in bed before we go to bed..... my youngest is on our level but she's 4 and is asleep waaayyy before us.
We usually have a film playing in the bedroom 'just in case' but should they hear us, it's nothing to be ashamed of.... we don't scream from the rooftops 😂 (pillow biting helps 😂) Your right, it is natural adult behaviour that happens in a loving relationship..... that's how they all got here 👍🏼

I'm 27, been with DH for 10 years and we have a 2yo and a 3mo.
We do it at least 4 times a week, sometimes more.
I get the 3mo to sleep, he gets the 2yo to sleep, and we meet in bed and start the foreplay.
He would like it more and I wouldn't mind though I'm not as fussed as he is, but 2 kids makes it hard.
I had to elective c sections so I'm not sure if that's made a difference tbh.
Ridiculously I've put on 10 stone in the 10 years we've been together, I hate it so much and when I look down I feel sick, but with my DH I've never felt more confident. He tells me how beautiful, sexy and amazing I am several times a day, constantly tells me he loves me and just seems genuinely grateful to have me, its definitely a massive turn on.
Currently trying to get the kids asleep so we can have some fun 😂

*2 elecs, no idea why I wrote to 🤦🏻‍♀️

When the kids were younger we had a dry spell. As soon as I fell pregnant I couldn't stand sex, and as had caesarian each time didn't do it much after either. So about once a month. Now kids are older it's 2-3 times a week. I've put on 5 stone and did used to demand lights off, under covers etc but now I've realized I am the weight I am and it's not going away I just go all out for it and it is better when you do that. However DH has never rejected me, I can see that when I hated my body a rejection would have been very very hard to deal with.

I'm 28, DH 38, both childfree, usually 3 times a week. I have a much higher sex drive than him, he'd be happy once a week and I could have sex every day.

Our mismatched libidos were a big issue for me for the first few months (after the going at it like rabbits phase was over 😫), but after a few come to Jesus talks, he now makes more of an effort to get in to the mood after work, and I've worked hard to not take it personally when he's not in the mood.

@Itsallgonewoowoo I had an ex who was overweight (I fancied the pants off him) and he wouldn't even let me look at him getting dressed, look at him in the bath, have sex naked. It was so heartbreaking and caused a lot of intimacy issues for us. My point is(!) I admire you for going all in and just enjoying yourself. I am a size 12 and used to be so conscious of my body and now I think, fuck it, you're lucky to be seeing me naked at all

I'm 33, DW is 31, kids are 5 & 6. We have sex 3 or 4 times a week.

We have had some problems in the past. Hormonal contraception completely killed off DW's libido for a couple of years, and that was really tough. Things are much better now though!

It's a shame that weight creates an issue for some people. My DW has always been overweight, and I can't keep my hands off her.

I'm 40, DH 45. 4 DC, aged 4-10.

We vary. I can go through ridiculously horny stages of every day, several times. And then relax for a few weeks of 2-3 times a week.

But we are a very tactile couple. It's important to us. Like a PP, I have gained a lot of weight but DH constantly tells me how sexy I am and seems to appreciate me which helps a lot.

I would say on average it would work out as PIV every other day and then MM and being intimate every day.

--Although tonight the kids have driven me so crazy I am
Hiding in the bedroom relishing no one talking to me or touching me--

Wow. This thread should be mandatory reading on the topic of a healthy sex life.

I'm currently single but hoping to regain the rampant vigour odmf some of you lot when I find a suitable boy ;)

I don't think there is a normal.

But I do think whatever your normal is before kids must get less after.

For the first year after DC sec was pretty rare.

But now (6 years on, get full nights sleep etc) we have sec anywhere from 1-3 times a week. Except if I have a period or one of us is tired/unwell. We can sometimes go a week or two without though at hectic times.

It's a case for us of it's easy to get out of the habit. And then if we are doing it lots we both say "why don't we do this more"

Once DC asleep it's easy to just sit and have a tea and watch TV/catch up with work etc. And then it's bedtime and we don't want to stay up late as we know we'll get woken early.

So our sex plan is generally to do it first at like 8pm before the cup of tea and TV not very spontaneous but it works for us. And if we both know it's coming then we can hop in the bath quick after DC and are clean to get up to whatever we fancy.

Not sure why I wrote "sec" instead of sex - fat fingers.

Makes it read like I have an accent.

Two or three times a day, more on weekends and on holiday! Been together 3 years, I'm 45 and DH is 48. No kids at home at present. The sex is incredible for both of us, and we are both up for it pretty much all the time (although it is no issue when either of us isn't, such as this morning when I had a sore back and was knackered!).

Prior to DH I was single for 15.5 years, with only the odd sexual contact within that time, so I guess I'm making up for lost time. Neither of us have slept with many people, but both agree that the sex is by far the best either of us have ever had. Long may it continue!

10 months into relationship, both early 40s with 4 kids between us aged between 7 - 11. Currently once or twice a day and I'm loving it after a VERY long dry spell!

Make love before sleep pretty much every night and more when we have time without dc .
It's just the way we connect after the stresses and strains if work ect
Not always a full marathon but a great way to go to sleep together .