Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Sex

You need to have been registered for 7 days to post in the Sex forum. Please don’t send unwanted PMs to other users.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To feel a bit miffed about a change in sexual performance shall we say with oh

29 replies

LuannC · 11/07/2019 21:01

Been together years. Have openly spoke about sex what we like and dislike and what we are willing to try etc etc. The other night I was on my period and he cannot bring himself to have sex when a woman is bleeding. Fair enough, can do without the mess anyway (sorry tmi) so I wasnt fussed. We did anal first time for us together but we haven't really discussed it before, during or after. Now, he is quite well endowed so obv this brought me slight pain. Aibu to feel a bit annoyed because he hasn't said anything about the experience. I tried to mention and he completely ignored me. What would you do?

OP posts:
MyOpinionIsValid · 11/07/2019 21:07

Aibu to feel a bit annoyed because he hasn't said anything about the experience. I tried to mention and he completely ignored me.

I don't understand the question TBH, What would I do about what? lack of conversation?

Tooner · 11/07/2019 21:11

Perhaps he's embarrassed . Ask him again and if he ignores ask why he's ignoring you.

Sadiesnakes · 11/07/2019 21:11

You want him to tell you it was amazing? Since it hurt and he dosent seem fussed?

MrsTerryPratchett · 11/07/2019 21:12

We did anal first time for us together but we haven't really discussed it before, during or after. Now, he is quite well endowed so obv this brought me slight pain.

Sorry but he didn't seek or receive consent? And it hurt. Did he stop?

ZenNudist · 11/07/2019 21:16

Just dont do it again. Its no fun for you (pain? Yuk. Any orgasm at all?) And hes not bothered.

Blowie or HJ next time. Less likely to end up with a sore arse!

MrMakersFartyParty · 11/07/2019 21:21

Maybe it was crap? Doesn't sound very fun.

MrsTerryPratchett · 11/07/2019 21:29

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MayFayner · 11/07/2019 21:32

Together years and it never happens and then it happened with no conversation 🤔

Ok.

IWantMyHatBack · 11/07/2019 21:33

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

goodorbadorneutral · 11/07/2019 21:35

How did it just happen with no talking about it? Were you both a bit drunk?

Carrotcakeforbreakfast · 11/07/2019 21:36

Just lol... Hmm

MNHQ
SophieLMumsnet · 11/07/2019 21:37

We're just going to move this one over to the sex topic

IWantMyHatBack · 11/07/2019 21:38

Wow, that was a speedy deletion!

LauderSyme · 11/07/2019 21:43

Pardon? Your thread title doesn't really match your post so I am a bit confused about what has annoyed you.

It's kind of weird that you wouldn't communicate at all with your long term partner when trying anal together for the first time.

Impatienceismyvirtue · 11/07/2019 21:45

Pardon?

GermaineBunbury · 11/07/2019 21:46

TroubleWithNargles · 11/07/2019 21:56

I'd much rather have a nice cup of tea, to be honest.

IWantMyHatBack · 11/07/2019 22:01

So, crochet..

MrsTerryPratchett · 11/07/2019 22:04

If new posters can't post in Sex for a while, can their posts be moved to Sex?

Asking for a friend.

ADropofReality · 11/07/2019 22:06

Men, when they make mistakes, do not want you to forgive them, they don't want you to talk it through, they don't want to make apologies above all.

They want the whole thing to be forgotten, on the grounds they did not mean to hurt you/annoy you/etc, they just made a mistake, any hurt on your part was not through their deliberate intent, therefore please can we just forget about it so I (the man) will no longer be embarrassed.

Hence why your DH is not talking to you about it. The best you might get is "I'm sorry you feel hurt" (rather than "I'm sorry I hurt you") which throws the blame onto you and absolves him.

It is up to you how you react to his ignoring this, but you may as well understand why he is ignoring it.

JarethTheGoblinKing · 11/07/2019 22:15

@MrsTerryPratchett

Interesting, I wasn't aware that a new poster wouldn't normally be able to post in this section

YourSarcasmIsDripping · 11/07/2019 22:19

What do you want him to say?
How did you end up doing anal with no conversation about it?

Do you want him to apologise for causing you pain?

MrsTerryPratchett · 11/07/2019 22:23

That was my understanding @JarethTheGoblinKing

Could be wrong...

IWantMyHatBack · 11/07/2019 22:29

I was completely unaware of this rule. That's good to know.

BiBabbles · 11/07/2019 22:30

I'm also confused by the OP - the menstruating part is confusing as, except with a tampon or maybe a menstrual cup (which I'm not sure if it would have any impact on anal sex), the amount of mess will be similar with anal sex as with vaginal.

I'm not sure how you didn't discuss it beforehand or at least during the prep (though from the sounds of it, I'm not sure prep was included), discussing it is part of consenting to it. I've only done anal as the penetrating partner, but it really should involve on-going communication and, as anal tissues are very delicate and are prone to tearing and bleeding, checks should be made if there is pain, however endowed the partner is. I wouldn't recommend doing so again with a partner who wouldn't talk about it (and honestly, very few women get much out of anal, especially in comparison to the risks, so wouldn't really recommend a woman doing it as the penetrated partner with so many better options).

This topic prevents users from posting on it until they have been members for at least 7 days.

Swipe left for the next trending thread