New guy has a kink for “wide open holes.” 🙄 Not sure if it’s good or not?

[Funnyitisnt]

there’s a new guy I have been seeing for several months. So far all normal and nice and emotionally he’s great - respectful, kind etc but he has been discussing his kinks a lot with me and I am trying to understand whether these are a result of too much porn use over the years or they are genuine personal fetishes that I should try and fulfil for him.

He has told me he wants to do “face-fucking,” as he calls it. Basically deepthroating with my hands tied behind my back. He says he likes the idea of me “gagging” on him (impossible as he is actually quite small,) his other kink is vaginal “fisting.” He says he likes the idea of “wide open holes,” so I suppose fisting fits that particular theme.

He says he has only done both once with another sexual partner but would like to do them with me. He is talking like that is the entire extent of what will fully get him off, sexually, which to me seems quite limited. Vanilla sex with him has so far been ok but not great, as he does not find it easy to get an erection so i’m getting some porn addiction alarm bells.

Is this even realistic in a normal relationship? Where would he even get this “wide open holes” kink from? Does it mean something sinister? Would you be seeing red flags?

If you're not ok with it, don't force yourself. It's a newish relationship and it doesn't sound like sexually it's worth it.

Ummmm no. Tell him you have a fantasy that you’d like to dust him anally and see what he says, or use a strap on so he can gag on you. I bet he’s not keen on that!!! I’d run a mile.

God no! That sounds awful! And he has definitely been watching too much porn. Please don't do it, you could end up with an injury.

Run for the hills.

NC'd to answer this question but honest to life you will never ever have an orgasm like when you are 'fisted' hate the name but it's just like being fingered with a lot of fingers and it's amazing. Takes a bloody long time and a lot of lube but once there wow (took about a year before we got there). It seems like your new guy feels he can be open with you in regards to sex, not a bad thing, a lot of guys usually hide things because they feel they'll be judged. If you are open minded I'd pursue the relationship if not I'd move on. Personally I'm so glad I've found someone who is honest with me because I've always wanted a different sex life then most. Nothing is off limits as far as me and husband are concerned and I've never been happier (or had more orgasms) since I met him

He sounds quite revolting, what on earth are you doing with someone like that?

What a freak..

I’d give him a wide open hole by sticking a chair leg up his arse.

Whatever you do don't google "gaping fetish". I can't imagine anyone who liked women and saw them as equals wanting to do that to them.

@AlexaAmbidextra 🤣

Haha too right Alexa

Kinks and fetishes have existed from time immemorial without the presence of internet porn, so I am not sure that today's sexual climate is the result of it. That said, this chap's kinks may be the result of it but as others have pointed out, they equally well may not.

It sounds as though he has something of a desire to be a Dom. That is absolutely fine just as long as you don't mind being a Submissive. If it isn't in your nature, then I would move on and seek a relationship elsewhere.

I am grateful to those who have put their heads above the parapet and given an alternative point of view with respect to fisting and gagging. I do wish some posters would stop telling us that they find certain acts to be disgusting. It doesn't help to know that you do not understand how and why some people enjoy what you don't. How do think those who like doing that particular thing feel when it is deemed disgusting? If you don't like what other folks get up to, just move on without judgement.

To me, the idea of 'just moving on without judgement' is a dangerous one. The OP is really asking if her partner's requests are normal or if they are red flags.

It is entirely abnormal to want to choke or make a partner gag. It is entirely normal to find these acts disrespectful and disgusting. Too much behaviour that is disrespectful, dangerous and in the case of choking, a criminal act in almost any other context, is now being placed under the umbrella of 'kink'.

I do not care what others think or if this offends. The reality is a simple one - anyone who posts online anywhere justifying and normalising choking, gagging, fisting or other risky acts is putting women's health/ lives at risk.

No, your ignorance is terrifying, dangerous and misogynistic.Your posts are horrifying.

Idk what the fisting posts were. But I do love gagging from deep throat.
Not vomiting but I feel quite cleansed and exhilarated by a good gag

@Bromdad it is not abnormal at all! Stop kink shaming on the sex topic and educate yourself!

I think you’re the one that needs to ‘educate yourself’.

@VollywoodHampires oh I have, sounds like you're just one of those that's got a problem with people doing things you don't understand. If you don't want to engage in kink then don't, but don't put people down for choosing to do so.

I wonder if you’ll still be so keen if you end up wearing incontinence pants 🙄

🤣 you don't know what kinks I was referring to and none of them would make me incontinent. Get off the sex board if you're so against sex.