He doesn't want to do oral

[Whyohwhy18]

Name change...
we've been together for 10years now and he's never gone down on me. He expects oral from me which I enjoy so it's ok. From the beginning of our relationship he's always said he can't do it even without trying.... I really want him too.

Just for the record - I'm fine with 99% of genital appearance, but one google search for blue waffle will illustrate that there's a point when normal becomes extreme and it would be justifiable to find something off putting.

I don't think poor hygiene is something that should be expected to be tolerated.

I wash twice daily down there and especially before sex, without fail.

I was with a woman once who and I kid you not, as soon as she removed her knickers, the room filled with a strong fishy odour that turned my stomach. I genuinely couldn't believe she couldn't smell it. I got on with it, but there was no way on earth I as going down there, I;d have been sick. Thankfully it was a one off and things were better there after.

Nobody expects surgical cleanliness, but I have no shame in admitting that the smell of a day's sweat and stale urine from multiple toilet visits since the morning's shower is off putting and not something I want to go down on, nor would I expect a woman to put a penis in her mouth that reeks of smegma.

It's just common decency.

@Familymanhusband

So much to unpack there.
You weren't talking about cleanliness. You were talking about appearance. I'm sure the op know how to wash herself. The woman you were with that had a strong fish odour almost certainly had some kind of infection. Maybe bacterial vaginosis. That won't have been through lack of washing or just her natural smell. Some women don't realise they have infections and just try to wash more which doesn't help.

Blue waffle is fake- it's an internet hoax. No vulvas actually look like that.

You didn't answer me when I asked how you'd like to be told if a woman didn't want to put your unattractive penis in her mouth?

I think you might be missing my point.

We don't know why he doesn't want to do oral - I was merely suggesting it might be that he's turned off by the appearance, some might be put off by a smell or hygiene issue - it is probably neither of these issues, but it could be. Or it might be something completely different. We don't know.

And as I stated earlier, there are some things best left unsaid. So let's suppose, just for a moment that it is one of those issues and the guy in question is desperately not wanting to hurt his partners feelings on something that he very well might admit is his own problem, but accepts that it's just they way he is, but acknowledges that he just can't tell the truth for fear of hurting his partner.

In this scenario he might have to lie to save hurting feelings, or just clam up and try to avoid the issue, yet the person doing without might continually keep chasing for an answer. My point is that the truth might not be something that should or cold come out in the open, therefore is there a point when it's best to just leave it?

In answer to your question as to how I'd feel if I was told my partner didn't want to give oral due to the appearance of my penis, I'd have to accept it was just the way they were, but I wouldn't take it personally. Some like anal, some don't. Some like seafood, some don't. Some like beach holidays... etc etc.

My thoughts are that trying to push and push for an answer won't, in my opinion, ultimately result in the OP receiving satisfactory oral, which is the ultimate objective, no?

'If I was looking for perfect (to me), I'd be looking for a 6' tall, slim woman with perfectly straight platinum blonde heair all the way down her back, chocolate box pretty face, with firm D cup breasts with larger than average areola, an immaculately neat and waxed vulva, who was very intelligent, funny, wanted sex 5+ times a week, was able to orgasm through penetration alone, got very 'wet' when aroused, was totally and utterly faithful and a virgin when we met.'

This is a joke, right?

The only thing that would put me off giving oral pleasure to a woman would be personal hygiene not looks, I’ve never seen an ugly one yet. Like tits they are all the same but different and all fabulous. I love giving oral and I love giving pleasure before I take mine. But getting back to the original post, after ten years, whatever the original reason for his reluctance, the guy obviously now also has a psychological barrier to overcome. Perhaps try and swing it to watch some non-porn movies or tv progs that feature a guy giving oral and the woman obviously enjoying it and see if you can slip in a comment that you would love to try it.

Personal hygiene is a thing whether you're Male or female. I think we've all had the misfortune of sucking a cheesy willy.

You neeed to either accept it, or talk openly and discuss why he doesnt want to do it.

I absolutely love giving and receiving oral, however, no matter how immaculate your hygiene, some people taste different.

I can happily go down on my BF for ages, however others ive not enjoyed at all without them showering first and using some sort of flavoured lube to hide the taste.

Its honestly nothing they were doing wrong, they werent dirty or selfish or bad in bed. But everyones taste is unique just like their smell.

Flavoured lube could be something you could explore using without bringing up any awkward feelings, as he is unlikely to want to admit this in case it hurts your feelings.

If it is something like that you could also look at your menstrual cycle. The taste and smell of things down there change a lot throughout the month, and apparently are most appealing around ovulation (however, ive only had these comments personally when ive been on no or non hormonal contraception so i dont know if that effects things). I get told its got a sweeter smell and taste to it when im ovulating and hee always seems more enthusiastic around that time.