MY FIANCE IS RUINING OUR SEX LIFE WITH HIS BULLYING WAYS

[Sarajandb]

My fiance and i have been together for over 3 years live together. Hes constantly moaning about our sex life. Blowjob mainly how he doesn't get enough i don't like them never have he knows this but i do them occasionally but he makes deals not that i agree to them - massage for a blow job' then out of the blue he will offer a massage then hold me to a blow job and moan and moan about it. I have endometriosis so sometime sex drive is 0 or in pain and can't but he drops comments like sexless relationship i have to beg you for sex. Despite two days ago we had sex on the sofa instigated by me. He moans i don't ride him often buts that's because of my illness it hurts to do so most of the time. he imply he only gets sex when he showers me with gifts despite the fact he simply spoiled me recently to make up for the fact he smashed my car up !And says he only gets what he wants when i'm really drunk.Comments like oh so you want to kick me out because you cant keep you man satisfied. Hes turned our sex life into a chore i don't want it because hes like this the more he goes on the more he puts me off and makes me feel like i'm not good enough in bed and I've told him this but nothing changes how can i get him to understand..

Of course he understands. He just doesn't care.

He probably feels that if he means, eventually you give in and do it, so he wins. His needs trump yours.

I read your title alone and thought - why are you marrying someone who bullies you?
You OP has done nothing to chnage that.

He isn't kind and loving if you pressures you into blowjobs.

Really, think hard about what he is saying through this.
many women on here have reduced sex drive due to ill health, and it is a fundamental foundation of a relationship that when that happens the partner is supportive, and doesn't pressure them into sex.

Stop making excuses for him.

His actions are those of a person that sees anyone of the opposite sex as beneath them.

LTB

This does now t sound like a healthy relationship.

Things will only get worse. Get out now while you still can.

An attentive and loving person doesn’t bully at all. Even for sex and bj’s! It’s hurting you enough to post about it, so what are you going to do to sort the problem? He apparently doesn’t listen and it never sinks in. The only last option is to leave this “soppy” creature who thinks you’re his toy to cuddle and hold and receive pleasure from.

sara no matter how much you try and kid yourself that this man is fantastic in every single other way - you have to start being honest wity yourself - your clearly not ready to accept the end of your relationship.

Next time he is guilt tripping you, manipulating you in to sucking his dick and you feel really pressured and horrible about it - please think then if this man is so nice.

Also can you ever imagine telling one of your dc that it's ok to be forced to suck someone's cock because they are 'nice' other times...

OK !!! So i reiterated loads of peoples comments and advise etc in my own words to him and suggested we go to therapy... and this is the reply i got... excuse the explicitness.

I think you need therapy or something definitely and u don't say I don't go down on you cause that's a fucking joke every time I try u pull my head or say no. I was shocked that u let me kiss your cult the other day. I'd like your pussy and fuck you every single night it's not me who needs help. It's you doesn't want to fuck or suck me and you who won't let me lick you or owt I always ask if I can get u squirting and you say no to that!!!! It's you who always says no and yes you do need help cause I feel like I can't mention sex or owt cause we fall out and I feel like I'm always begging you for it

i think cult is supposed to be clit

Well I think you have your answer now OP.

What a charmer
Sounds like he has made sex so stressful for you that you don't want to do it, which he then reacts to with more and more hassling. If he won't accept his part in the dysfunction between you then you have no chance.

That's vile 🤢

The thing is with some men they actually think women want them to talk like that or act like that - like we are all in some porno or lads mag.

How fucking old is he?

You need to start listening to your instinct love because it's physically turning you off him

Well, he's a catch.
Don't put up with this, it WON'T GET BETTER.

Comments like oh so you want to kick me out because you cant keep you man satisfied

This comment would be enough for me to tell him to fuck off for good. What a bastard.
I'd rather be on my own then be with somebody like him.

@Sarajandb That is no more than a bitter little man who thinks porn is real life.

You either become his "squirting", BJ-on-demand sex toy; or you run for the hills now and find a normal man who will love you, in sickness and in health.

Get away from him before he does any more damage to you or your children.

Ugh... I couldn’t be doing with messages like that. ‘I always ask if I can get you squirting and you say no to that.’ What an offer.

It just doesn’t sound like the message of someone who cares about you. Sex can be great, no doubt about it, but it sounds like it’s all he thinks about. Is he ever happy with normal couples stuff like a takeaway and an early night or would there ALWAYS be an expectation that you’d be having sex?

That is utterly vile. Look at the language he’s using and how he’s blaming you. There is not one ounce of attentiveness in that butt nugget of a paragraph. The manipulation in how he’s apparently begging you ✋️.

God help you.

OP that message is a million miles away from anything a loving, respectful partner would say, no wonder you're turned off! Men like this don't change and so I'm afraid you're left with 2 choices, put up with his pestering and disrespect or leave him, it really is that black and white. Sorry

What a catch

I'm no prude. I love some dirty talk. But that text is just absolutely vile. It made my flesh creep.

He sounds utterly repulsive to me. And so whiny.

Surely anybody would be happier living their life without him?

He sounds like the missing link

He’s an utter cult, using his own words

He sounds vile. Absolutely horrible. Whatever other redeeming qualities he may have, he is not worth staying with. Anyone who spoke to me like that would be out on their ear. Please do not marry or have children with this horrid, abusive specimen.

I’m really hoping you haven’t set a date.....sorry OP, but this is not looking good for the future.
Step back now......

No date set and kicked him out last night :-)