Golden Rule – applies to you both - don't do anything you don't want to.
Say to him, 'that's taking me further than I want to go at the moment, just give me time', say it gently with the hint of future promise. It doesn't do us blokes any harm to live with an unfilled fantasy. If he's a decent fella he'll go along with it.
From my perspective watching DW's face and body changing as the pleasure mounts and then reaches her climax was always lovely to see. Didn't happen often though.
If you want to go along with his fantasy, does it mean you have to be naked? Do it under your skirt/dress when facing him, if you're having a meal at home, under the table? Best not in a restaurant! Or, he sits on the bed, back to the headboard, you sit between his legs facing away. Do it whilst he plays with your breasts.
I doubt he'll mind if you use your bullet.
Pleasure him? Try stroking his penis very slowly up and down ten times, pause, then ten very fast strokes, pause, the slow again – slow quick slow and so on.
Or, sit astride facing him, PIV, insist he doesn't move, grind away whilst flexing your internal muscles.
Whatever you do, enjoy.