How Long...

[GeorgiePeachie]

Despite the slightly suggestive title. I'm just wondering how long people are having sex for.

My current FWB's average is about 4 hours. NOW that is with breaks sometimes little breathers of a minute or two and sometimes longer like half and hour or an hour then start again. He either doesn't finish at all or it takes a long time.

I realise from talking to my IRL friends that that is a LONG time and definitely a problem for him..He is circumcised so needs a lot of stimulation/focus for it to happen. Constant significant stimulation for about 15 minutes at the end.

So I was wondering what a typical FULL session from start to finish would be for you? AND any suggestions to help me cut the time down?

Not a Daily Fail hunter, penis beaker, stunt pineapple,

I've wondered about steroids but again, I've known him for nearly 10 years and I've seen him go from just toned to muscled and everything in between, There haven't been big noticeable gains or anything he has just built up over time so I don't think it's likely. I mean... but maybe as you say why would he tell me.

Badabing36- It doesn't always end up with injuries/splits but it happens sometimes. I know it doesn't seem like it here... but he does care about me. Sometimes he stops (even when close) because he thinks he's hurting me and that's not sexy for him at all so he stops.

Sometimes that's right and he is hurting me and he can tell and we stop. But a lot of the time I CAN keep going but not indefinitely and if he gets it into his head that I'm hurt he can't really get into the zone.

Catch 22. he needs to be trying to cum earlier but it's hard to tell how close to the end I'm getting. and if I say hmm starting to be a bit sore... then its that problem where he cant get close cus he's worried about hurting me verses having sex the way that will get him there.

Steroids don't work overnight, they 'help along' the steady gains. You wouldn't be able to tell as an outsider if he was taking them. It's not a case of scrawny to Arnie in a week.

Can't you stop at reasonable time and end with a bj or hand job, or do you think you'd end up with repetitive strain injury .

4 hours and injuries!
Of course it's not worth it.

Badabing36, unfortunately there's no way I can help with that for him. We've tried hand jobs before but there isn't an angle I can get to that doesn't make my forearms feel like popeye's, same problem with blowjobs it's just not an effective finish. We've done other things (him masturbating and I sit on his face, anal works but... eh,) but nothing really works tbh.

Maybe it is Steroids. but like I say was with him for like 2 years before he started gaining or being interested in what he looked like and it was a problem back then too...

Is he Sting?

Actually I've just read the thread. This sounds all kinds of wrong. Wrong. And I'm out.

I'd say including kissing, foreplay and penetration its about 20-30 mins in total. Wouldn't want it much longer than that as I'd start to get bored. I prefer the intensity of a quicky

Mostly an hour or so, but I've had more than a few three/four hour sessions with DP. No tearing or soreness though, and he'd stop if it hurt, no question!

This doesn't sound fulfilling for you. I know you've said you enjoy it and you orgasm, but I enjoy it and I orgasm lots, and I'm not being torn to pieces. It shouldn't be a trade off!

Our sessions usually last about an hour/1.5 hours. I quite often have problems with tears or get thrush after but it's because I'm very dry and after an episiotomy and tearing the skin is thin. We use copious amounts of lube and he is pretty gentle (although rubbish with his hands) but it still hurts after usually.

He's on something,don't be fooled by the healthy exterior.

Is he worth it?

It's not even a relationship just FWB. Surely the definition of FWB is 'relaxed fun times' not 'always making compromises and being grateful for what orgasms I get even if the trade off is injury'.

Somebody else mentioned the effect of childbirth etc, I mean I can understand if you're married with kids together, your anatomy changes and it's a struggle getting back to the right balance of mutual pleasure. But this is just FWB, I can't get my head around the injuries being worth it.

If you aren't using condoms you could try coconut oil as a lube. Thrush will make your skin more irritated even after it's cleared.
You need to have a chat with him I think. Do you enjoy the long long sessions? Is he looking after you too?

Are the sessions long because you're both enjoying it and he's dragging it out or edging? Or is it because he can't cum easily?

You said lights off work, so how about having a chat and if your feeling it's becoming uncomfortable switch the lights off. He needs to be mindful of your comfort and enjoyment too.

Out of interest - are you his only sexual partner, and how often does he masturbate? And if he does masturbate a lot - is he, possibly, gripping too tight - hence requiring a lot of (tight) stimulation from you - (you said with anal he comes faster?)

Four hour session can be a fun way to spend a day - but in that time - I'd have had my partner come around 3, maybe 4 times (and same for me) - and in various ways - penetration, hand/blow/job, joint masturbation...

For me - four hours for just one orgasm - and with tearing, and pain, etc - would be a no go zone. I'd try to find ways of fixing it - suggesting he finishes off on his own - with me helping in any (non-painful way) I can do. Using toys, porn if we have to.
But also - medical checks and no solo play for a while , most likely...

If you aren't his only partner and you aren't using condoms you're at a big risk of STDs. Especially if he's tearing his partners and therefore encountering blood directly

Something isn't right here.
Unless you're into it (and who are we to judge?) he shouldn't be hurting you like that or making you go to hospital. You say he worries about it, but then it still happens so...
The length of tine he takes to finish is less important than what he is doing to you.
You need to take control of it. If he is hurting you or you aren't enjoying it anymore, stop , especially if the end isn't in sight. If you are so inclined you can try other things instead but if you've had enough just say so. He might get a bit frustrated but your health is more important.
If you set these clear boundaries it will also (hopefully) help him to learn about what does hurt you so he can be more confident and relaxed about it.
Maybe take the focus off an orgasm and concentrate on what things feel like. Maybe he thinks he needs to be rough when actually he doesn't and by spending time (maybe a lot of time) looking at things differently he may end up enjoying it more and you stop getting hurt.
As someone above said though, this isn't a relationship as such so is this grief and pain even worth it?
Not saying our timings because I don't think that is the issue here.

excellent point Puffin Nose, I've always just gritted my teeth through the end and he does get frustrated if he doesn't get to come, because that to me feel like I'm being really selfish. boundries may be in order.

I'm his only sexual partner. We are both tested fairly regularly and are honest about it.

He does not masturbate ALOT but he does although if he knows he's seeing me he wont for a few days. He is not very sensitive and needs more stimulation than I am able to give him with hands mouth or PIV.

The sessions are long because I am enjoying it too and I suspect he doesn't even think about cumming while I'm enjoying it. It's a fine line between me being done or me getting sore and it feeling great. so it's only the last 40 minutes that's problematic.

Coconut oil is meant to be amazing in every way. I wonder though I am pretty careful about what I put down there because of thrush issues in the past so I would be nervous about putting something that might have sugar in it...

It maybe that thrush has made my skin thinner PLUS more challenging sex...

I will talk to him about lube in our lives, and maybe try to end things a little sooner.