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Can I make myself more sensitive <down there>

21 replies

MidnightMoonlight · 25/06/2017 20:36

I couldn't bring myself to put the word clitoris in the thread title Blush
Basically in my previous relationship my partner didn't last very long and we didn't actually have sex very often so all of my orgasms were from masturbating.
Now with a new partner and I find it takes me a long time and A LOT of quite hard clitoral stimulation to get to orgasm. I suppose the equivalent of a guy who wanks too much?
Is there anything I can do?

If you've found this page in your search of a wand massager and wand vibator, you might find our guide to the best wand massagerss useful. Hope this helps! MNHQ

OP posts:
NormaNameChange · 25/06/2017 21:10

Three letters for you
You're welcome :)

Josuk · 26/06/2017 00:10

How did you used to come before your previous partner?

And was all your masturbation only clitorial?
If yes - like the men in similar situation - re-programming mind could possibly help.

I'd also buy a vibrator and try exploring various ways of orgasming - that way

user1490142285 · 26/06/2017 00:43

Vitamin b12 injections did it for me. That is not why I had them obvs, it was just an unexpected side effect.

HerOtherHalf · 26/06/2017 09:39

Out of interest, how long is a long time? Just wondering if you really have the problem or if your partner is just not putting enough attention into foreplay. IMO, it's his responsibility to ensure your satisfaction and that means putting the effort into understanding what makes you tick 's and then actually making you tick. If a long time is several hours that's one thing but if it's twenty/thirty minutes or so I don't think it's your anatomy that is the issue.

Josuk · 26/06/2017 14:56

HerHalf - 'his responsibility to ensure your satisfaction' hmmmm

If the OP was a man and he had a hard time orgasming - would you say that it's a woman's responsibility to ensure he does?

Mutual, maybe. And, for mutual satisfaction.
But knowing your body, knowing what works for your - etc - is surely our own responsibility.

monkeyfacegrace · 26/06/2017 14:59

I had vch and it made nada difference. At all.

Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 26/06/2017 15:05

Cock ring??

user1490142285 · 26/06/2017 15:41

Can you relax with a new partner? And are you requesting the 'quite hard' stimulation because it feels good or because you're trying to get to the finish line before he gets bored and/or you get sore? You can (as I'm sure you know) get a bit numb if you're really grinding it for ages.

It can be an elusive thing subject to so many variables, it's hard to know what's going wrong. But for sure it's more likely (from my pov) to happen if you have hours to chat, kiss, laugh, touch and have fun together in a relaxed way. If you have half an hour to tumble into bed, disrobe seductively and knock one out it is less likely. And if you're trying to get there during piv it might just not happen. Personally I'd put no restrictions on it having to happen during penetration, just dtd separately and if you don't get there before he does carry on in some other way afterward (or before piv if that suits). Once you feel a bit more confident about it you can change it up.

Patchouli666 · 27/06/2017 16:52

I took my vch out because it was delaying my orgasm a lot. I wouldn't recommend it!

OrlandaFuriosa · 27/06/2017 20:39

Try warming yourself up beforehand? And experiment in new ways, with him? Many men enjoy seeing their partner come, especially if they can have a role.

If your budget can extend that far, try the womaniser. Because I think you will discover a new range of sensations if you don't have one. And it might be fun to try it out with your partner.

But I'd say don't expect automatically to come from PIV. If it happens, great, but it's not necessarily as frequent as fiction would have you believe. And foreplay and afterplay are often just as/more important. Especially in the creation of intimacy.

OrlandaFuriosa · 27/06/2017 20:41

Sorry, assumed your partner was male, if not, I apologise.

Cat2014 · 27/06/2017 23:10

What is vch?

NotTheFordType · 28/06/2017 10:29

Yes it sounds like you've got the female equivalent of Death Grip Syndrome. I experienced this about 10 years ago when I bought a really powerful vibrator and used it at least once every day. Then one day it broke :( I tried my old vibrator and I was like I CAN'T FEEL ANYTHING WTF.

You can retrain yourself just as well as a man can but it means you need to stop wanking hard (or asking for hard stimulation) until you're able to orgasm without it. It took me about a month but I'm sure it's different for everyone. This site has some good reading.

AkimboLimbo · 28/06/2017 21:21

VCH - Vertical Clitoral Hood piercing
There is no amount of money in the world that would persuade me to do that, and I think they look revolting too (I don't like piercings at the best of times!)

Hilliam · 30/06/2017 19:11

I'd love a vch piercing but I'm having a job finding somewhere that does it in sleepy Herefordshire. Does anyone know where I can go?

MrsMortified · 04/07/2017 23:36

Hilliam I could have written your exact same post! Location too. Share if you find anywhere?

monkeyfacegrace · 05/07/2017 16:13

Try calling tattoo parlours. Usually they know someone who does piercings and can recommend for you.

Mrsmortified · 06/08/2019 18:18

@Hilliam - did you find anywhere to do this?

noego · 06/08/2019 20:43

You and your partner need to understand how the pudendal nervous system works. A practitioner of tantric methods is familiar with these and would be able to enlighten you. When I say tantric practitioner I mean a real one.
It is not all about the clit.

Jiggles101 · 07/08/2019 16:14

Have you got used to using vibrators to masturbate? I think the buzzing can desensitise you a bit, I think you need to abstain for a while and get used to more subtle sensations again.

BubblesBubbly · 07/08/2019 18:54

I agree with @noego

Read around tantra

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