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Original poster

Masturbation in front of dh

43 replies

Vanillaisboring666 · 15/06/2017 22:17

I just feel so embarrased and can't do it. We have a very good sex life and do it daily but it's the one thing he asks me to do amd I just get so embarrased and can't do it ??? Why ? He has seen me give birth 4 times and Im not a prude but I just can't play with myself when he is watching (I do when alone ) . I love love having sex with him and no issues there . Is it weird I feel I can't do this ? ( he puts no pressure on me but says it's his ultimate fantasy me playing with myself in front of him)

OP posts:
ThanksMsMay · 15/06/2017 22:29

I don't think it's weird. It's generally seen as an alone thing it's hard to get your head around it not being an alone thing. Especially as if anything there is a taboo about doing it at all

Original poster
Vanillaisboring666 · 15/06/2017 22:31

Thank you for commenting thanksmsmay

OP posts:
tiptopteepe · 15/06/2017 22:35

maybe it might be easier if he started you off if you see what i mean? So then it wouldnt just be you starting from scratch which i could imagine might be pretty awkward. It is a bit of a difficult thing to do in front of someone else, especially if you are a woman i think. Just remind yourself that he is getting off on it..... I think its ingrained in a lot of women that its a dirty secret thing to do so it feels like if anyoen saw they would be judging you negatively so maybe it would help to remind yourself that actually he wants you to and it turns him on... maybe get him to say this to you a lot whilst you are doing it?

MusicToMyEars800 · 15/06/2017 22:35

I used to be fine with it when we were younger but now I am like you I just find it uncomfortable, embarrassing.. but I can't work out why either, though when I've had a good few drinks it doesn't bother me Confused

Bumpsadaisie · 15/06/2017 22:36

I couldn't do it in the cold light of day. But I do sometimes do it when we're in the throes, so to speak. Sometimes the expert touch is required before the moment passes, if you get me 😉

BrutusMcDogface · 15/06/2017 22:38

I've only ever done this a few times but he LOVES it!! So I do it. The more I've done it the easier it's become. Just dim the lights and have a drink or two.

However, obviously if you don't feel comfortable you shouldn't feel that you have to do it!

Original poster
Vanillaisboring666 · 15/06/2017 22:38

He often wanks and comes on me which I don't mind (infact quite like) but I just can't return the favour. We are open to lots of things sexually but I just can't do this in front of him ???

OP posts:
BrutusMcDogface · 15/06/2017 22:39

Bumps has put it well! Ha! I've never done it "from cold", so to speak!

BrutusMcDogface · 15/06/2017 22:39

Wank simultaneously? Blush

BigSandyBalls2015 · 15/06/2017 22:41

I can't get past the four kids and daily sex!

Original poster
Vanillaisboring666 · 15/06/2017 22:43

Only recently big I stopped bf in January and my sex drive has been through the roof since I stopped . We haven't always been daily

OP posts:
Highfivethatfart · 15/06/2017 22:54

BigSandyBalls2015 - I'm glad someone thought the same as me! 😉

Giddyaunt18 · 15/06/2017 22:58

Could you do it while he is inside you? Then it's less about you performing in front of him and more of a joint thing?

TinselTwins · 15/06/2017 23:06

Then don't!

It is okay to keep that as your thing that you only do for yourself!

Sounds like you do plenty of other stuff so no need to do something you don't want to do

Flyinggeese · 15/06/2017 23:16

Agree with Tinsel. However OP I'm not clear from your post, is this something you'd like to do, ideally?

If so, if you're into dressing up, could your 'character' do it? Or make a fantasy scenario where it's a bit contrived. Also agree with PPs suggesting not from cold!

Equally, if you want to keep masturbation for you, could you maybe tease him with talk about it, e.g. what you did earlier because you couldn't wait for him to get home blah de blah and keep it to talk?

Man1974 · 16/06/2017 06:10

If you do it while you lie back and give him oral maybe it will take the focus off you. And will probably drive you both wild!

Buttonmushoomex · 16/06/2017 06:33

If you want to do it op....How about lying on your side with him behind you? Then you could do it during the act, with a bit of privacy because your face and body are turned away?

My DP absolutely loves it. What he loves is me enjoying myself, that's what gives him the most pleasure, that I'm letting go in the moment with him.

Or get a little vibrator to use during? Then it's the machine doing it, not you so to speak?

NewMummyMNetter · 16/06/2017 08:25

Same here the DH absolutely loves it! And we never go for it from cold, I agree with the other ladies it's a little awkward from cold.

Try a little foreplay first vanilla lots of kissing get yourself in the moment, then when your suitably turned on go for it.
The other ladies have all suggested some great ideas oral when you play with yourself would be a real turn on for him and also take your mind away, but also playing with yourself while he's inside you is another great idea, DH really loves it.

End of the day it's the visual for the men! They are all about the visual!

TheNaze73 · 16/06/2017 09:47

NewMummy is spot on. It's totally about the visual with all aspects of sex, with most men. If you're uncomfortable though, don't do it.

NewMummyMNetter · 16/06/2017 10:23

Sorry your right Naze if your not happy doing it don't, but it seems like she wants to she's just struggling with feeling comfortable? Is that right vanilla

Original poster
Vanillaisboring666 · 16/06/2017 11:10

Yes that's right new mummy

OP posts:
MyBeautifulSquid · 16/06/2017 11:11

My dh loves when I do this but tbh I find it a bit embarrassing so Better when drunk 🙈😳

NewMummyMNetter · 16/06/2017 11:19

So vanilla what's the best way that you relax when DTD. Kissing always does it for me. How long have you and your DH been together? I'm guessing it's a while if you've had 4 lovely children!

Flyinggeese · 16/06/2017 12:46

Sorry OP but slightly off topic. To those on here who have advised a drink (or event to be drunk)!can you genuinely orgasm in that state? Any more than half a pint of beer and I'd be too desensitised. I'm really curious!

Kmetsch3 · 16/06/2017 14:21

Have you thought about wearing a blindfold?

It may help you lose yourself

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