My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

You need to have been registered for 7 days to post in the Sex forum. Please don’t send unwanted PMs to other users.

Sex

I've lost my orgasm

31 replies

Howfrustrating · 03/06/2017 19:02

I'm having the best sex of my life, I fancy DP more than ever, he's fantastic in bed and has always made me climax throughout our many years together. I was sterilized last year, so no longer have the side effects of the pill or worries about conceiving, but I'm having difficulty climaxing.

We have plenty of foreplay and the build up is still there, but I think it's about to happen and it just disappears. I've also found it much harder to orgasm during masturbation, it seems to take ages and be pretty meh when it does happen with or without a vibrator.

I'm 43 and still have the desire to dtd every night and don't feel like I'm drying up, so don't think it's peri-menopausal.

Anyone else ever experienced similar and any ideas how to get it back?

OP posts:
Report
noego · 04/06/2017 11:31

Try building the anticipation of se throughout the day. Sexting, explicit chat, preparation before bed. Feel excited about the forthcoming session. Go tantric for a change that is a slow build up to DTD. Get the senses going psychologically and physically. Take your time. Explore each other intimately.

Report
Howfrustrating · 05/06/2017 10:21

Thanks for the response. We already do pretty much all you suggested, apart from the tantric style (makes me think of Sting too much and that puts me right off sex).

It feels like when you need to sneeze but it won't come out. It builds up to the moment but just at the point where the earth usually moves, it disappears and arousal instantly ceases.

I was hoping someone else might have experienced similar and could advise.

OP posts:
Report
poisonedbypen · 05/06/2017 10:33

It's probably your hormones, it happened to me at around the same age :( Not very helpful, I know!

Report
Howfrustrating · 05/06/2017 10:47

Poisoned - did it come back? I wondered if it was related to hormones as similar happened during my last pregnancy, but once I gave birth I returned to normal.

OP posts:
Report
NC4now · 05/06/2017 10:51

Are you on any medication? My anti-depressants did this to me. Killed my sex drive too. The orgasm thing is coming back but it's never fully recovered.
I really just want to get well enough to come off the mess and have a lovely sex life again, but that seems a distant dream at the moment.

Report
Tenshidarkangel · 05/06/2017 10:54

Your sensitivity may be higher which is why you're struggling. Have you tried a Doxy?

Report
noego · 05/06/2017 11:05

Re- Tantric. Don't knock it until you've tried it :)

Report
Temporaryanonymity · 05/06/2017 11:09

I get like this when I am stressed. Is this an issue for you?

Report
6AMisthenew8AM · 05/06/2017 11:20

Hormones I reckon. Happened throughout both of my pregnancies and was sssooo annoying!

Report
Howfrustrating · 05/06/2017 11:28

Not on anti depressants or any other meds. Not particularly stressed atm.

What's a Doxy?

NC4now - I had this year's ago when on anti depressants for a while. Don't worry it'll come back in time once the meds completely leave your system.

OP posts:
Report
Guiltypleasures001 · 05/06/2017 11:39

I've had this once,

How about abstaining your end, as in give him his release etc but don't try for yourself
I found I was over stimulated nerve end wise, a couple of weeks clitoral rest did the trick 🤔

Report
NC4now · 05/06/2017 11:42

Thanks Frustrating, that's good to know.

And yes, what's a doxy?!?

Report
Howfrustrating · 05/06/2017 11:56

Thanks Guilty perhaps it is overuse, as we've been DTD a lot recently. I will attempt abstinence but am a moody bitch if I haven't had any for a couple of days Blush.

OP posts:
Report
UserThenLotsOfNumbers · 05/06/2017 12:14

When you say you are sterilised, do you mean you had a hysterectomy?

Report
Howfrustrating · 05/06/2017 12:25

I had my tubes tied during a c-section last summer.

OP posts:
Report
UserThenLotsOfNumbers · 05/06/2017 12:38

Ah I see. I asked because there is some (limited) evidence that having a hysterectomy can make it harder to orgasm.

Report
PaintingByNumbers · 05/06/2017 12:40

I had thiswhen my thyroid was packing in but there were other symptoms too, like tiredness

Report
Howfrustrating · 05/06/2017 12:54

I've got three small kids, including a baby that doesn't always sleep through the night, tiredness is a given. What other symptoms did you experience Paintingbynumbers and did you recover fully?

OP posts:
Report
PaintingByNumbers · 05/06/2017 13:58

hypothyroidism

www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Thyroid-under-active/Pages/Symptoms.aspx

its quite common, but then having three kids makes you tired too!

Report
Howfrustrating · 05/06/2017 14:00

Thanks Painting Smile

OP posts:
Report
Tenshidarkangel · 06/06/2017 10:00

Only the God amongst men of all toys.

Diamonds are a girls best friend? Heck no.

Its a mains powered vibrator.... And utterly incredible.

Report
Girlywurly · 07/06/2017 16:42

I'm prone to this sort of thing, and have started wondering if it's to do with a dopamine deficiency? Orgasm is a primarily a brain event, after all.

I understand that dopamine can be boosted by certain supplements and lifestyle adjustments. I might do a bit of experimenting and see if I can make my orgasms more reliable and intense. If I get results, I'll come back and update!!

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

Howfrustrating · 08/06/2017 13:32

Girlywurly that would be interesting to see. Please let us know how that works out for you. I had success with vitamin supplements (plus sex) to alleviate PND symptoms after DD2, as I much prefer going down a natural route to anti-depressants.

To update, my attempt at abstinence failed completely but I have been able to climax. It's a bit hit and miss but practising has been fun Grin

OP posts:
Report
Guiltypleasures001 · 08/06/2017 15:15

How

3 days is not abstinence, bloody hell woman your worse than me and that's saying summin 😁
Step away from the booty

Report
rizlett · 08/06/2017 15:20

Maybe change your focus so that you are not on a road where the end goal is orgasm but you are just in a place enjoying the sensations.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.