The difference between making love and having sex?

[isobel79]

Any thoughts. Probably know the answer myself but just curious ........

Why do you ask?
It's one of those - you know it when you are in it.
First - i'd say there is a strong mental component, a connection...
Second - doesn't need that - and i am more focused on the physical dimension.

Both can be fun. It's great when it's a balance.

I think it's the first for me I just get "butterflies"

I think if you're in love, it's always making love (although I hate that phrase and never say it!)
Even if me and my boyfriend have a up against the wall quickie, we love each other and I feel that.

That said I've only been with my boyfriend and so never had sex without being in love.

"Making love" puts my teeth on edge.

We're mammals, it's fucking, surely it's the intensity of it, that's different?

They're just labels. You can make love without sex and have sex without making love. Depends on how you define the words really.

We bonk in our house - fancy him like mad :)

Thanks for all the replies

hearing or reading 'making love, make love' makes me nauseous. Ugh.

We've been together 25 years - we fuck.

Sometimes it's slow & sensual, other times it's quick and kinky. We've never called it making love, it's all sex.

Married 16 years, together 18 - we only call it making love when we are being silly (and even then say "making lurrrrrve" in a daft voice). It's sex. Or shagging. Or fucking. We adore each other, but it seems twee and euphemistic to call it making love.

I think the Op, meant the feeling behind it not the actual words. Although I could be wrong.

We don't say 'making love' but I don't like shag or shagging either (sounds really 80's) or bonk. I'd call it sex or fucking, but never really say shall we have sex/fuck. I'm not sure what we say really, it just happens. Earlier my boyfriend said, dd was fast asleep, while kissing my neck....then next thing, we were having sex (or whatever you want to call it!)

I'd suggest that the difference is the enthusiasm of both participants. eg: "making love" implies both are keen due to emotional attraction for the other, but "having sex" could include a prostitute who is feeling no "love" whatsoever.

DP uses the incredibly attractive term "Want pumped?" if he wants me to join him in the bedroom

I still prefer that to "making love". Yuk!

I'd have to agree with TheNaze we don't call it making love, we fuck, and it's a little like my earlier post and question. It's just the type of fucking that changes. We have slow sensual sex that always ends up us fucking. Sorry for the TMI

It's 'fucking' here too, regardless of speed/intensity/emotional connection. I also find 'making love' just way too twee.

I think the former is a more emotional connection and the latter is more physical. I only ever had first one with exh but now have mostly the other with dp.

Perhaps "making love" is being attentive to the other person's pleasure, sex more about your own wants?

The phrase always makes me think of an Italian "making luuurve to a bewdiful laydeee"

Oh no, I definitely don't agree with that ILostIt

Looking at the content/ nature rather than the drafting, I would say the former is about emotional as well as physical intimacy, the latter about the latter.

And you can make love in a number of ways, not just sexually.

I don't think I've ever made love, I love DP but we fuck. Hard and fast mainly. The slow sex you see on films where they roll around together I've never had and don't want!

There is a place for both..

What's wrong with 'making love'? Why is in yuck?

OP, I think the difference is that love is involved, where as with just sex, there is no emotional connection.

Making love needs candles/rose petals/James Blunt CD/James Blunt.

Having sex means without all the unnecessary frippery. Maybe a tarpaulin and a beaker on standby for more advanced activities.

But fucking hard can be part of making love, a very good part.