Struggling to have sex after having a baby

[TheChineseChicken]

I had a baby via c section 8 months ago and since then have only successfully had sex with my partner twice. There are two problems: I have no sex drive and it rarely crosses my mind (plus we are juggling the usual time demands of parenthood); when we do try to have sex I am so tense that it is excruciating.

I feel a bit torn about this. With my lack of sex drive, it doesn't really bother me not to be doing it. However I know that it is an important part of a relationship and I know that my partner wants it.

Has anyone else experienced this and what did you do about it? I looked into counselling but it's extremely expensive.

I've found my people! DD is six months, c-section healed fine, still BF, still not had sex. I have no libido and I do think BF is contributing. DH also wonderful and not pressuring the situation. I don't want to give up BF just to regain libido but I don't want to feel like this for many more months. We are both exhausted so it's not that the too of our priorities but we do worry about it sometimes. I just feel asexual at the moment!

Could have easily written this post!! With both my children two months after stopping breastfeeding, everything back to normal. Don't worry it is actually really common.

seven if I was married to someone as hands off as me it would be a disaster

Not I've actually got a GP appointment booked for a couple of weeks' time. Not sure what they can suggest. Is oestrogen cream prescribed in the U.K.?

KStar welcome! That's exactly it. I'm hoping that, as other posters have experienced, things will improve once BF slows down. Although my DD is a voracious feeder so that might be some time

Thanks for the encouragement Danger.

I also had no sex drive during pregnancy despite it supposedly making you horny. A friend of mine went on at length about how great sex was when she was pregnant

breastfeeding a one year old and very low libido here too

You have an eight month old, it's pretty normal. It's just part of having a baby. It comes back/fake it until you make it.

Yes oestrogen cream can be prescribed. It's definitely worth being completely frank with them about how low your labido is.

I felt the same after mine OP, which was disappointing as I thought without any vaginal trauma that we could get back to it! Hormones sometimes feel so cruel, I have been so horny all of this pregnancy but bump has prevented me getting the action I want... Due in a week or so so bump will soon disappear, but I just know it'll take months to get my drive back again. I had vaginismus when younger and still can't have examinations etc, so I do really need to be in the filthy mindset to have sex and this is hard to find after a baby! I think partners just need to be patient and be happy with a gradual return to normality, and take care of themselves in the meantime..