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Original poster

Condoms at age 56?

64 replies

dragnet100 · 18/12/2016 18:39

DW and I have been together for 28 years and always good sex. We have used various contraceptive methods over the years and 4 years ago after a spell with a coil DW threw away the contraception manual and we went "au naturelle" which was great when her periods stopped. Since then, she has started buying condoms again and asking me to use them to "keep the mess under control". Meanwhile, my sensitivity and performance has reduced and I find it hard to cum with a condom - but DW is insistent - occasionally allowing me in without. We have decreased sex frequency because of this and this just makes her more persistent ("you have not cum for xy days - make sure you use a condom because I know you will do a big one" Am I being selfish to wish I can feel it "au naturelle" again and wanting to chuck out the rubber johnnies at this time of life? What do other late 50s couple do???

OP posts:
dementedma · 18/12/2016 18:48

Yabu for using the spelling "cum"

FestiveBiscuits · 18/12/2016 19:37

That's how it's spelt.

gamerchick · 18/12/2016 19:42

Well to be fair, having stuff come out of you slowly for a couple of days is a bit minging. Washing immediately after helps but is a pain.

You could offer to pull out and change the sheets after.

Trills · 18/12/2016 19:44

Are you sure that she's not had sex with someone else, or suspects you of doing so, and so wants to use condoms to protect one or the other of you from STDs?

Mungobungo · 18/12/2016 19:50

Hmmm, got to say that the mess of bare back sex is pretty grim for a woman to deal with. Having someone else's bodily fluids dribble out of you and sit in your knickers/your bed is most unpleasant.

And have you tried the thinner kind of condoms?

TwentyCups · 18/12/2016 19:54

I think trills has a point unfortunately. If this has seemingly not been an issue before, I don't understand why she wants them now. I would personally get tested.

If that is not the case then if she doesn't want you to cum in her that is her choice. See if she is willing to compromise by you pulling out I suppose, but really it's up to her. See about the thin brands you can get now.

Trills · 18/12/2016 19:57

Plenty of people don't like the feel of it - but if so why was she fine with it for 4 years?

Or was she not fine with it for 4 years, but felt she couldn't tell you?

gamerchick · 18/12/2016 20:02

Or she may have reached the age of thinking 'I'm not putting up with that part of sex anymore'. It's her choice not to want to deal with gloop that goes off quickly.

dementedpixie · 18/12/2016 20:03

Did you use condoms when she had the coil or is it just recently?

Bagina · 18/12/2016 20:05

I know you will do a big one Grin

ParisGellar · 18/12/2016 20:10

'Do a big one'

MN is crazy.

McBassyPants · 18/12/2016 21:22

shamelessly place-marking but I do sadly agree with the pp's. It's a bit strange to suddenly decide this, especially if it was no condoms with the coil.

Also agree it's her choice. If you're happy there is definitely nobody else, sound her out about pulling out?

AnyFucker · 18/12/2016 21:27

How unlike the home life of our own dear queen

AndShesGone · 18/12/2016 21:33

That's not how I'm reading it at all. She didn't go 4 years without condoms Confused

It's 4 years since she got rid of the coil? She's never liked you orgasming inside her, she just lets you do it occasionally.

What you do is you shag and when you get close you then put a condom on.

mortificado · 18/12/2016 22:34

Agree with trills here. I'd keep it wrapped until you've been tested.

If not, as another pp said. When you get close out a condom on then

NotTheFordType · 18/12/2016 23:50

"Well to be fair, having stuff come out of you slowly for a couple of days is a bit minging."

A couple of days?! Look, just go to the toilet, have a wee, push down at the same time, job done!

OP, will she accept you barebacking until you get close then pulling out and finishing off over her tits/arse/face?

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 18/12/2016 23:55

What you do is you shag and when you get close you then put a condom on

Omg what a mood killer!

You get up have a wipe and a shower and it's dealt with, it's hardly the Niagara Falls!

I'd be suspicious OP.

ElDuderino · 19/12/2016 01:05

I think the fact that she lets you inside her on occasion suggests that it's what she says (the mess) rather than that she's playing around - if it was that then surely she'd be making her lover wear the condoms, not least to avoid raising your suspicion.

My DW came to a similar conclusion a while ago that she was fed up with the mess, which I understand and respect, and like you as I get older I get less sensitive. She's still on the pill but we decided that me pulling out before I come is best for both of us, she prefers to wipe the mess off her boobs / bum / tummy (never face, yuk) and I get the extra stimulation from my hand or her mouth as I come, which gives me a stronger orgasm. Sometimes she will ask if I want to come inside her, sometimes I will ask if it's ok to if that's what I'm in the mood for, but for the most part I'm quite happy to pull out. At first it seemed a little odd and not what a loving sex life is about, but I soon got used to it and now it's our default. It took a little practice to learn how to time the withdrawal (had a few accidents at first but as we weren't doing it for contraception it didn't matter) and we've learned some positions work better than others but it works for us and I'd far rather pull out than wear a condom.

dementedma · 19/12/2016 08:36

In terms of mess, how can it be preferable to have someone come all over you,rather than inside you where it is more contained?

QueenOfTheSardines · 19/12/2016 08:43

Interesting personal preferences and different experiences here!

I'm with the poster who said about it seeping out over a couple of days. And it is pretty minging. Probably different for different couples depending on account of come, slope of vagina, I don't know. But yeah a pee and a quick wipe or whatever I can't even imagine how that would get rid.

OP if she doesn't want you to come in her then you don't come in her. Either wrap it up, do something else or withdraw are your options I think.

msrisotto · 19/12/2016 08:49

I'm not sure what age had to do with it...maybe she just decided not to put up with it anymore. I often ask my partner to use a condom despite being in the pill because I don't like clean up and subsequent dripping. Sorry but ew gross.

Snowflake65 · 19/12/2016 08:50

Personally speaking I think I have little foof pockets that hold on to anything that gets in there, semen,bath water etc having a wee and bearing down will get rid of a bit but even after several hours I will feel it start dribbling out, so I get where there OPs DW feels about the mess.

ChocolateFuzz · 19/12/2016 08:55

Just fyi it's a myth that you'll produce more sperm after a couple of days, after a few hours you reach the limit

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 19/12/2016 08:56

Don't people have showers? Quick spray with the shower head sorts it.

HerOtherHalf · 19/12/2016 09:04

Wearing a condom is not that big a deal. We started using them again recently because my wife found that, since the menopause, my ejaculate brings on some kind of nippy reaction. She also prefers the more subtle lubrication over lube in a tube. It took a few trys to find a brand that I liked but it wasn't difficult. Whatever your wife's reasons, is it really that big an ask?

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