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Original poster

Condoms at age 56?

64 replies

dragnet100 · 18/12/2016 18:39

DW and I have been together for 28 years and always good sex. We have used various contraceptive methods over the years and 4 years ago after a spell with a coil DW threw away the contraception manual and we went "au naturelle" which was great when her periods stopped. Since then, she has started buying condoms again and asking me to use them to "keep the mess under control". Meanwhile, my sensitivity and performance has reduced and I find it hard to cum with a condom - but DW is insistent - occasionally allowing me in without. We have decreased sex frequency because of this and this just makes her more persistent ("you have not cum for xy days - make sure you use a condom because I know you will do a big one" Am I being selfish to wish I can feel it "au naturelle" again and wanting to chuck out the rubber johnnies at this time of life? What do other late 50s couple do???

OP posts:

FrankAndBeans · 19/12/2016 09:30

It doesn't matter what other people do after having someone ejaculate into them, if OP's wife is uncomfortable then she is uncomfortable. This is what pulling out is for OP.

gamerchick · 19/12/2016 09:35

A couple of days?! Look, just go to the toilet, have a wee, push down at the same time, job done!

I'm really glad to hear you have an obliging fanny.

AnyFucker · 19/12/2016 09:41

I get the "gush" a few hours later or in the morning even with those bearing down manoeuvres.

And old spunk smells horrid.

I scandalised MN once by admitting to inserting a small tampon to soak up the flow then removing a couple of hours later

myfriendnoel · 19/12/2016 09:50

Why is that scandalous AF? Id say that you'd hit on a practical solution there...

gamerchick · 19/12/2016 09:51

Ooo that's a good idea that.

Yeah it's not a nice smell when it goes off, bloody awful.

AnyFucker · 19/12/2016 09:52

I dunno but people didn't like the idea of it, I guess. Nothing if not practical, me

NotTheFordType · 19/12/2016 10:09

This thread is a real eye-opener, I must say. I've never experienced semen hanging around. When I was TTC I spent a lot of time after sex laying on my back with my legs propped against the wall to prevent it all coming straight out!

VimFuego101 · 19/12/2016 11:04

Does anyone else remember the thread where a woman was complaining about her husband's 'deposit' being messy and a poster came out with the immortal line 'it's semen, not wheely bin juice'?

TBH I would hate the idea of using condoms unless they were needed for STD/ contraceptive purposes. Its not really such a big deal to put a towel down or run to the bathroom afterwards.

gamerchick · 19/12/2016 11:11

No it's not a big deal and just something most woman deal with without giving it much thought.

However any woman is perfectly within her rights not to want to deal with it anymore if she doesn't want. It doesn't matter how fine we are, the OPs (who seemingly has ditched the thread) wife doesn't want the mess.

ElDuderino · 19/12/2016 11:28

Dementedma "come all over you" might have been possible in my younger days, and on the odd occasion I would pull out I was warned (from experience) not to get it in her hair. Now I'm in my (lateish) 40's a small puddle on her tummy or bum is about all I can muster up most days, which makes the cleaning up process pretty straightforward. Also, DW enjoys watching me come, where before she would have had her eyes shut tight (apparently getting spunk in the eye really stings). Another plus of getting older!

Everyone will have their preferences but personally im not into coming on her face, and doing it on her boobs doesn't give me any particular thrill so I don't usually bother. Apart from that neither of us minds where it lands, as long as it's on her and not on the sheets (the whole point of pulling out is that she doesn't have to sleep on a wet patch).

Since we started doing it this way both of us have enjoyed sex more and we do it more regularly. Another thing that just occurred to me was that when I do come inside her it feels closer, more loving and romantic and intimate than if we did it every time.

ChocolateFuzz time didn't used to be a factor, but again as I get older it definitely makes a difference to the quantity.

BartholinsSister · 19/12/2016 11:51

OP, when you are almost on the vinegar strokes, why not pull out and dispense it elsewhere?

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 19/12/2016 12:53

Pull out and dispense else where, are we 14? you wouldn't exactly get lost in the moment,would you?

Happybunny19 · 19/12/2016 13:05

I find the reaction to semen on here really weird. It's so little fluid, not gushing ffs. It was obviously ok when ttc, but now deemed disgusting when it's no longer useful. If this were reversed and a woman's secretions were described as horrible, smelly etc it wouldn't go down well, I don't see any difference here.

If you are happy to partake in a loving, intimate relationship a small amount of sperm isn't much of an issue and I find peoples disgust disturbing.

I also agree that you only need to go to the loo and push it out before you wipe. If that's not enough you may need to consider some pelvic floor exercises for your weird labyrinth-like foofs

gamerchick · 19/12/2016 13:27

Ah so it's battle of the fannys now is it?

Maybe the push out the gloop and wipe brigade never smell that fresh in general. Just to flip that coin over

TheNaze73 · 19/12/2016 13:35

Why don't you have a chat about blowing your beans elsewhere? Condom's are a necessary evil but, not good

Happybunny19 · 19/12/2016 13:59

No Gamer, a shower is sufficient to eliminate odours. I don't really think a game of Battlevag is needed .

But really two days seepage is bloody ridiculous.

McBassyPants · 19/12/2016 14:04

Fair point that happybunny makes. If he was saying if the OP was saying he was refusing sex because his wife's orgasmic juices made a mess or he hated her cumming, he'd have been lynched for it.

Kel1234 · 19/12/2016 15:21

It is strange that she is only insisting on using them now.
Though I've never ever had sex with a man using one. And never will. Especially since I'm married and obviously hope I will only ever be sleeping with my husband.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 19/12/2016 15:57

I agree with Happy bunny tbh.

hippoinamudhole · 19/12/2016 16:31

Maybe she's not as lubricated as she used to be especially if the condoms you use are lubricated. It may be less uncomfortable

WappersReturns · 19/12/2016 16:43

It could be that it's begun to irritate her physically for whatever reason. A poster upthread touched on this and I think it's a possibility.

I'm not menopausal just yet but when I was pregnant semen always seemed to kick off a thrush episode which understandably put me off having it in there. Hormones are responsible for all kinds of annoying shit so it's worth chatting about it to see if it really is just the mess or if she's uncomfortable for any other reason.

If it is the mess that's bothering her then there's not a great deal to be done tbh, her bits and if she doesn't want spunk in there then that's entirely up to her.

QueenOfTheSardines · 19/12/2016 18:02

It's interesting that women on the thread sort of refuse to accept that other women have bodies that are a bit different when it comes to, um, semen retention and expulsion to theirs :D

I don't have any problem or issue with the idea that some women can apparently just get rid of it quick. Would be nice if the courtesy extended both ways :)

Reading this the idea seems to be that for women who do have it hang around, there must be something wrong, they aren't washing properly, and if they won't put up with it they are doing a disservice to their partners. Seriously?

What happened to women get to decide what gets put in their vaginas and we all come in many and different variations and that's all fine.

Anyhow, none of this helps with the OPs situation - and in my opinion if she doesn't want him coming in her then that's up to her and there are a few things they can try instead most of which have probably been covered on the thread already.

QueenOfTheSardines · 19/12/2016 18:06

"we all come in many and different variations " lol sorry no pun intended

babymouse · 19/12/2016 18:23

Try thinner condoms or ones made of materials other than latex. That or pull out.

McBassyPants · 19/12/2016 18:32

Maybe OP lives under a bridge? Not heard from him for a while...

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