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Original poster

Oral sex or lack of

49 replies

firsttimedaddy11 · 02/08/2016 15:37

Hi all, not a troll but desperate for opinions.
Myself and my OH have been together for 8 years, in our first year, her performing oral sex was a regular occurrence, all be it only for a matter of minutes. These days it happens maybe twice a year.
I really enjoy both giving and receiving oral so I ensure I perform on every encounter, always ensuring that she climaxes.
Any suggestions as to why she does not like returning the favour?

OP posts:
crayfish · 02/08/2016 15:41

Why don't you ask her? She will probably have a better idea than a bunch of strangers on the Internet...

MrPony · 02/08/2016 15:42

Maybe she doesn't like it any more.
Have you asked her?

Original poster
firsttimedaddy11 · 02/08/2016 15:43

I have tried, but she just shuts down on any subject that she does not want to discuss.
This being one of them. Any time I bring it up she accuses me of always going on about it.
Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
TheNaze73 · 02/08/2016 15:45

YANBU. You need to talk this one through. Maybe take her out somewhere nice, out of your normal environment & have it out.

nmg85 · 02/08/2016 15:46

Why don't you ask her? That is the only way you will actually find out for sure as it could be a number of reasons. For me in the past I have hated it when a guy has held my head and practically choked me for others it could be insecurity or smell or taste or a number of other reasons. Just ask, after 8 years I would think you should be able to talk about sex and what you do / don't like.

Ipigglemustdie · 02/08/2016 15:46

Beginning to believe oral sex to be something akin to unicorns

MrPony · 02/08/2016 15:47

Well, are you always going on about it? It's obviously a sensitive subject for her and not something she feels comfortable discussing.

It's very generous of you to want to perform oral sex a lot but please understand this doesn't mean she has to give it back.

If I was you I would not mention it now.

oneoldmare · 02/08/2016 15:48

you'll probably find the more you mention it the less she will want to do it.
She'll feel pressured into it then that itself is a turn off.
Why not try, not mentioning at all and give that sometime and see if she feels a bit more inclined.
Or you might just have to accept that she never enjoyed it but did it in the early days to please you but now feels comfortable to be her true self?

MrPony · 02/08/2016 15:48

I'm sorry but have it out?? Why?
If she doesn't like doing it she doesn't have to. Taking her out somewhere nice and then having a go at her over oral sex is not going to get you what you want!

Summerday11 · 02/08/2016 15:49

Could you dip it in wine or chocolate Grin

LaurieFairyCake · 02/08/2016 15:50

It doesn't matter really surely Confused

If she liked it, she'd do it. You like it, you do it.

It's not tit for tat. Or cock for clit Grin

If you like it you do it.

Missgraeme · 02/08/2016 15:54

Do u shave???

nmg85 · 02/08/2016 15:57

If you have asked and she isn't comfortable talking about it then don't keep asking as that is likely to make her want to do it even less!
The cock for clit comment above is so very true, if you are both satisfied overall then does it matter how you get there?

Original poster
firsttimedaddy11 · 02/08/2016 16:02

I agree with you all, it's just that it feels that a whole level of intimacy is missing, I think Oral sex is probably one of the most intimate acts.
I have impeccable hygiene, I always make sure I'm sweet smelling before bed, and yes I shave. I tend not to mention it in fear of causing confrontation.
Anyone have similar experience?

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 02/08/2016 16:08

Oh yeah, I've got plenty of experience of this. Dh gives me oral sex and I don't do him.

He likes it. I don't. I don't feel there's any intimacy missing.

I'm pretty sure he doesn't as he thinks the idea of putting a penis in his mouth is yuk. And he can well understand why I don't fancy it.

Original poster
firsttimedaddy11 · 02/08/2016 16:15

What is it you don't like about putting a penis in your mouth?

OP posts:
iloveberries · 02/08/2016 16:16

I don't think there's anything wrong with you pushing her on why she doesn't do it...

"Honey I never want you to do something you don't enjoy but in the early days BJs were a big part of our love life and I miss that. Is it something about me which has changed? Is there anything I can do or do you not enjoy it anymore?"

I don't see why you shouldn't bring it up... And I think her just refusing to discuss it is petulant.

iloveberries · 02/08/2016 16:18

Of course if she turns around and says she doesn't like it anymore you'll just have to accept it although I'd hate it if after luring me in with loads of oral my DP decided he didn't like it

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 02/08/2016 16:20

Who's that question directed to?Confused

Original poster
firsttimedaddy11 · 02/08/2016 16:21

Sorry,that was directed a Laurie fairy, although all opinions welcome Smile

OP posts:
DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 02/08/2016 16:22

Oh sorry,to Laurie < tired>

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 02/08/2016 16:23

X post!

LaurieFairyCake · 02/08/2016 16:33

Because I don't. I don't hate is as much as he would but I don't like it.

Lots of people don't like it (obvs). It's just like any other sex practise, some people like things, some people don't.

It's no different from asking why you don't like getting fisted by a bloke called Darren.

I bet you don't.

Original poster
firsttimedaddy11 · 02/08/2016 16:37

Laurie, how do you Know about Darren?
He said he didn't tell a soul!

OP posts:
MrPony · 02/08/2016 16:38

I think you just have to accept that she doesn't like it, no matter how much you dole it out.

I don't know what you think you'll gain by asking random women on the Internet why they don't like a penis in their mouth Confused

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