Am i weird? or has this happened to someone else?

[BlueberryJuice]

Incase this is relevant i have a very high sex drive & dh has average sex drive. After a certain amount of time with no sex i start to dream about sex, this i know is common in itself, but if the period of no sex goes longer than a couple of months then thats when things get more different....

What i mean is i will dream about sex and the dream will become very vivid and i will often wake to find myself masterbating and often in mid orgasm, and quite i few times, in my sleep, often without waking I have given my dh a handjob, even managed to 'finish him off' again sometimes without even waking!

Anyone else had this or am i just weird? Lol

You're not weird at all. We've all done it

It happens to everyone

You could have sexomnia? It's contraversial to diagnose but common unofficially iyswim

so glad im not the only one!

is your DH is asleep whilst you do this to him?

Yes, tho of course he ends up waking up lol

Have I ever performed a sex act on a sleeping person? I can very happily say no I've never done this

That's not funny. That's assault

If you were asleep it would not be classed as assault.

Happens to me loads, and I have a very very low sex drive.
I find it happens if I sleep in.
It was a real worry when I had IVF as I was told that I wasn't allowed to have an orgasm after the embryo transfer!

By which I mean I have a sex dream that gives me an orgasm, not that I wank off DH.

So, your saying its OK for her to do this becise she's asleep?

Its not OK, the other person hasn't consented. He nerds to do something aboit this.

I'm pretty sure there was another similar thread where the DH was doing this to his wife. And the consensus was he nerds tonfind a way to stop this.

Would you find it funny if your partner was touching you like this in their sleep?

I would be more than happy for him to do this! and its not assault, if he didn't want it happening all he would have to do is wake me up and tell me to stop, but he has said he loves being woken up this way

It's not ok if he's not ok with it.

But if she's genuinely asleep, it's not legally classed as assault.

Exactly scooby! After it first happened i did say to him that if he didn't want it to happen then to stop me and he said that he enjoyed it happening so no assault there, and he's not forcing me to do the act as im asleep when i start to do this, he did also say if i felt uncomfortable doing this then he would stop me, but i told him that i was more than happy to be doing this, therefore theres consent on both sides meaning no assault

But HOW is he consenting when he's asleep????

"if he didn't want it happening all he would have to do is wake me up and tell me to stop,"

How can he wake you up if he's asleep??

The partner has said that he likes being woken up in this way - he's happy for it to happen.

I understand where you're coming from binary but there's no point creating a problem where there isn't one.

He has told her he is fine with it when he is awake. Some people are determined to see assault where none exists.

How can he wake you up if he's asleep??

Because me doing the action naturally has woken him up everytime!

And when we first got together and entered in to a sexual relationship 8 years ago we discussed at the time things we would/wouldnt do, and things we liked/didnt like, so we both know each others bounderies/limits

Of course there will be occassions where one of us has thought about something new we have wanted to try, but we dicuss our idea, and if it dont work for both of us than we wont do it

*The partner has said that he likes being woken up in this way - he's happy for it to happen.

I understand where you're coming from binary but there's no point creating a problem where there isn't one* exactly, im happy to do it, he's happy to have me doing it so no problem in this case :D

Some people are determined to see assault where none exist

Beginning to think your right there! especially as ive already mentioned that theres mutual consent, and while its a strange thing to happen, its turned into something we both enjoy and are BOTH happy to happen

I understand that he is consenting when he's awake. But, he still isn't consenting when he's asleep. He is unable to consent whilst asleep.

I know I can't say "stop" or "carry on"whilst asleep. So how can he?

Because after the first time it happened we discussed it and he said that he was more than happy to have it happen again & that if he ever changed his mind he would tell me, and that if he ever wanted me to stop (which he never has) then he would wake me up to stop me! There have been occasions where ive woken up, and ive always asked him if he wants me to carry on, and he always has, and for the record ive always been more than happy to carry on

He's not consenting.

She is asleep. She's not consenting either. There is no intent therefore he may feel 'assaulted' (he clearly doesn't from what she's said) but she has not consciously assaulted him.

i don't think anyone here has the right to say if this is 'ok'or not for the op's partner!

in the past both myself and dp have woken each other up like this. Intentionally. Although now dp would be too scared to try!!!

What i mean is - if its ok fot them jump off your high horses.

What i mean is - if its ok fot them jump off your high horses

i agree, we have both said to each other we enjoy waking up this way and have both given the other permission to do this/have this done to us regardless or wether we are asleep or not