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Original poster

He never cums...

37 replies

Plashley · 10/04/2016 19:43

He never climaxes! Says he's not bothered about it, that his climax is unimportant. He prefers the journey to the climax rather than the climax itself. I've never encountered this before. It makes it difficult for me though as he can carry on pumping away forever! We roll around, change position, take a breather etc but it's starting to annoy me a bit because I'll climax, often more than once but he wants to carry on! Lately it's been too much and I've just had to tell him 'enough'. He'd rather carry on. Sad It takes enormous effort to get him to climax. Is there an answer?

OP posts:
gamerchick · 10/04/2016 19:45

Stick a finger up his bum and give it a wiggle, it's never failed to stop a humper.

That's assuming he's not a user or on heavy medications.

Buzzardbird · 10/04/2016 19:50

Heavy porn user? Middle aged viagra user?

RNBrie · 10/04/2016 19:57

It could be Delayed Ejaculation Disorder, it's not as common as Premature Ejaculation but it is a genuine sexual disorder, it's also harder to fix than PE.

You have my sympathy OP, I know how frustrating it can be!

Original poster
Plashley · 10/04/2016 20:25

gamer Really? Just go for it and poke a finger up there? Does it really have that effect? I'm not worried about doing it, assuming I could reach but I imagine pulling him off the ceiling in shock afterwards! He's very bum-shy. He doesn't use porn I'm confident of that, he's older with no internet access at home. I'm not sure about viagra but I don't think so, I never see him pop a pill. He said he's never been bothered about cumming all his life which sounds bizarre to me. Most men when young can't hold back. He's mid 50s now.

OP posts:
kittybiscuits · 10/04/2016 20:27

It's viagra!

Buzzardbird · 10/04/2016 20:30

Mid 50's and no internet? Also probably does take viagra.

Could be a big fat liar perhaps?

gamerchick · 10/04/2016 20:43

Well I've never asked, most dudes will say no if you ask.

Sometimes there's one hump too much and it's time to end it man.

*ive never tried it on a dude on viagra though.

UmbongoUnchained · 10/04/2016 20:46

Don't stick your finger up someone's ass with out their consent. Ffs.

LisaRinnasLips · 10/04/2016 20:46

How far do you have to stick finger up there? Just curious Grin

G1raffe · 10/04/2016 20:47

I researched this as my partner used to struggle with this
Not a porn user and not on viagra. I'm thinking it's partly psychological but he didn't have a sexual relationship until late 20s.

He still claims he's happy not to come and won't always. He doesn't like it of it makes me anxious when he doesn't.

Lots of people saying it's not "a thing" is really really unhelpful. Like assuming all men are always in the mood for sex or always want it. Not all men are the same..

VoldysGoneMouldy · 10/04/2016 20:54

Are you shagging my ex? Was just one of the things that ended up driving me mad. The whole "it's the journey" thing. Stopped sex being enjoyable, and more of a mission.

gingerbreadmanm · 10/04/2016 20:59

Dp used to be like this. Porn addiction. Weve worked through it although no miracle cure for us im afraid.

Roseberrry · 10/04/2016 21:02

No don't just stick a finger up there! You'd need lube first, never mind permission.

How long have you been together?

BartholinsSister · 10/04/2016 21:11

Sounds like you need to find a way to communicate when you've had enough. Can he climax by himself?

annandale · 10/04/2016 21:16

Same here, though it's medication in our case. No need to carry on having PIV sex if you've had enough. Stop but suggest something else if he would like it. TBH if it's the journey then I've never seen why a quick run round the block isn't just as good as a marathon... Neither of us comes so it can feel a bit rude to be the first one to indicate it's time to stop.

Original poster
Plashley · 10/04/2016 21:49

We've been together 6 months & see each other 3-4 times a week. I have no problem communicating that I need it to end but swapping to doing something else doesn't really help. I then find myself giving the never-ending blowjob or the never ending hand-job!

OP posts:
loveyoumummy · 11/04/2016 13:13

No answer but just wanted to say my ex was like this. Made my blood boil. Only time he ever did, was when we were ttc

LisaRinnasLips · 11/04/2016 14:25

Is he circumcised? I had an ex like this

Lovemusic33 · 11/04/2016 15:37

My you partner is the same though he does cum sometimes, he says it doesn't bother him as he enjoys sex and enjoys making me climax. I have made him cum with oral ( with a bit of help from him too ). He has tried vaigra which I hate him using, I think men assume we want to go all need night Hmm.

Maybe try making him cum with 4 play?

I know how frustrating it is, I feel Like I'm doing something wrong if he doesn't finish.

Ciggaretteandsmirnoff · 11/04/2016 15:43

gamer properly laughing out here at your posts Grin

Abed · 11/04/2016 19:25

If my wife stuck her finger up my arse without asking me I'd be very Shock and Angry

gamerchick · 11/04/2016 19:48

Yeah but you would be finished Wink

annandale · 11/04/2016 19:53

Tbh I think the relationship could be finished

Abed · 12/04/2016 06:34

Yeah I'd finish the relationship, funny how consent doesn't matter if it's a woman assaulting a man.

SpecialNonOperations · 12/04/2016 06:57

If he is otherwise lovely, and sexually giving towards you, perhaps you could focus less on his orgasm, and take the pressure off him.

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