Possibly inappropriate sex fantasies (may be triggering)

[FiveCharactersOrLess]

I'm deliberately going into as little detail as possible as I don't want to look like a half-term troll, but for years I've had fantasies about a certain sort of 'taboo' sex situation that works in a consensual fantasy situation but is also very similar to things that happen in real life and are horrific crimes when not consensual. I've always felt guilty about being mentally turned on by these thoughts (never actually acted on them in real life) as it feels wrong to like the idea of the fantasy when I fully appreciate how terrible the real life acts/crimes are and how much they ruin people's lives, and am also a feminist and it involves treating women as objects. But nevertheless I still find myself turned on by the fantasy.

I feel like I should try and get myself away from fantasising about this particular thing and I've tried to, eg. by trying to work out what it represents for me but don't seem to get very far, the fantasy (again, NOT the real life acts) still appeals. How do I balance not being able to get rid of the fantasy with not wanting to glorify something really RL terrible in my head?

did you mean to post this somewhere else (like isn't there a 'bore people to death yakking about sex' topic?)

Your fantasies are your own private domain. Within them nothing is taboo and there's no need to feel any guilt because they are just that - fantasies.

Sorry, didn't realise there was - thought AIBU was relevant as I'm not sure if IABU about having these thoughts or not.

ToastDemon - but surely that has limits, if I was fantasising about underage sex (NOT what I'm talking about though) that would be very wrong even though it's just in my head?

I think you might be better discussing your rape fantasy on the sex topic eh?

Have a look at this book.
It covers pretty much every taboo you can imagine.
The only problem I can see is that you sound anxious about it.

As I say, I didn't realise there was a sex topic, can topics be moved or should I restart the thread?

There's a 'Sex' topic now, as well as 'Relationships', OP.

This AIBU board is bedevilled with idiots, trolls and goady fuckers, so I'd ask for your thread to be moved or start it again if I were you, tbh.

Thanks toast, I feel anxious about it as I'm not sure whether it's ok to imagine something that would be very not ok in RL.

X-post.

Ask MNHQ to move it.

report the thread and ask for it to be moved

along with trolls, idiots and goady fuckers there are a fair few over sharers who I suspect 'enjoy' discussing sex in detail with what the perceive to be middle aged mothers :)

Before this gets removed - it's okay to imagine anything you like. It's safely in your head. I sometimes imagine beating up people that annoy me, for instance. I won't do it. They're quite safe. It gives me harmless pleasure.
So anything you chose to think of is just like that.

I'd def ask MNHQ to move this thread to the Sex section.

MNers take the cream puff if sex threads are opened anywhere else and the OP usually gets flamed!

Have reported my last post and asked for the thread to be moved. I know some weirdos start similar threads just to discuss details which is why I wanted to be very sketchy on the specifics but I hope I don't sound too weird and vague instead!

Just report your post and ask for it to be moved to the Sex topic.

I just think you are going to have to expand the detail a bit and sex or relationships might be a better place to do that

Thanks Toast, so you don't see it as kind of gloryfying the act, you wouldn't feel weird and guilty if someone came to you distraught about the RL beating up they got if it was exactly like one you'd imagined?

You can only start a topic in sex if you've been a member for 90 days OP, don't know if that's you or not.
AIBU was definitely the worst place to post this, as people come in here just to belittle and rip apart posters.

x post. Talk of sex on here or chat or any other place other than sex seems to get some people irate.

Thanks for the warning, have asked for it to be moved to sex so have to hope I don't get flamed first!

No it would never occur to me to see the two as connected.

I can honestly say the only time I've worried about what was in my head was during periods where I was suffering from bad anxiety. Are you anxious at the moment?
I honestly don't think you need to go into specifics at all about what these thoughts or fantasies may be, that's irrelevant. What's relevant is that they are troubling you.

To my mind, as long as you have no wish to do anything harmful or illegal in real life, you shouldn't let your thoughts bother you.

I do suffer from anxiety, absolutely, this definitely feeds into that in that I can't just relax and think whatever I like, I almost always overthink the meaning/implications. Can honestly say though that I'd never do anything harmful based on it in real life, would be abhorrent to me, but think I am anxious that somehow I'm still condoning anyone that would cause harm/do something illegal that way.

You are having these fantasies because they somehow give you the safety to feel aroused or orgasmic, for example if it's a coercion / submission type thing, then you are not "at fault" for your desire so you are therefore safe to enjoy it. Don't sweat it. Fantasies are not real and you can't be blamed or considered anit-feminist for what you think in private. I recommend this book which explains the meaning of sexual fantasies.

Thanks Majestic. Think I'll have a read of both books posted, they both look interesting, never looked into the deeper meanings behind fantasies. It's definitely a "not at fault" thing. Think what made it worse today tbh was reading a news item about someone actually being a victim in a very similar situation - obviously not similar as they didn't ask for or want that situation but similar circs as the fantasy which made me feel awful for thinking about that sort of thing.

op check out the social media platform "fet life"