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Sex with late to bed teens in the house....

40 replies

daydreamnation · 07/08/2015 15:01

In a nutshell, teenage dd, who incidentally has the ears of a bat, now goes to bed at about the same time as dp & I most nights. Our house is small and open plan and we can all easily hold conversations with each other from our bedrooms, very sweet mostly but not great when the conversation between dp & I turns more 'adult'. Put plainly and as this is the sex topic, the only way we can have sex these days is in total silence in positions that require almost minimal movement. This is not us, we are huge fans of much louder, active sex, we're not talking Sting & Trudi style but I absolutely hate that we have to be so quiet Sad it's still lovely and dp is great in the sack still but it all feels a bit passive.
Do we just have to just deal with this for the next few years? It's not the worlds biggest problem, I'm totally aware of that and I know we are lucky to still have such a good (but silent) sex life.

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FATEdestiny · 07/08/2015 15:09

At least you've only got one child. Surely she goes out?

The old "here's a tenner go and make yourself scarce". Let her go shopping, bowling, cinema etc with friends. Send her to the shops on the pretence that you need something desperately. Get her to take up regular sports or activities out of the home.

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LaurieFairyCake · 07/08/2015 15:18

We're foster carers to teenagers and can only shag when they're out the house

It's rubbish but thankfully they do go out a fair bit.

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daydreamnation · 07/08/2015 15:18

No, there's another one too! Fortunately he is younger and a very deep sleeper. Dd does have a fair few interests and does all the usual cinema etc with friends at the weekend. She does love being at home with us though, which I wouldn't discourage as I'm aware there will come a time very soon that we'll hardly see her! I just wish we had a nice attic room, or a big country pile with masses of space!

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SirChenjin · 07/08/2015 15:22

I'm lurking with interest....2 late to bed teens and an early to rise 8 year old. We're in the same 'quiet and quick' boat, which is not as much fun as it could be Grin

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WallyBantersJunkBox · 07/08/2015 19:18

When DP comes round and it's been a while it's always too hot to sleep upstairs and we use the downstairs guest bedroom. It's the only one with a lock too.

Have perfected the standing quickie a lot more these days. Can't be heard so well in the shower room with running water or on spin dry in the utility room. Blush

DS is 10 and has Spider-Man hearing on private conversations when I think he's asleep in bed.

But seems to become partially hard of hearing when I'm calling out for him to take the bin out...Hmm

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YakTriangle · 07/08/2015 19:21

You hope she sleeps really late in the morning, and you and your DP wake up stupidly early to get some before she wakes up.

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Fairylea · 07/08/2015 19:57

Get her some really good headphones and a subscription to netflix and a tablet / ipad. She will lose herself in it and you can sneak off upstairs and have sex... that's what we do!

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Orangeanddemons · 07/08/2015 20:01

I've got a bloody 9 year old who won't go to sleep before 10:30. She never has. I've just about given up. It's mission(ary) impossible in this house.

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Pippin8 · 07/08/2015 20:14

DS is 15 & has the bedroom next to us. When DH is up for it we often go outside down the side of the house (private & not overlooked) or in the sitting room or utility room.

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UnsolvedMystery · 07/08/2015 21:07

You need to be creative about when you get up to things. Whenever she goes out, make the most of the opportunity, or when she is engrossed in watching TV, announce that you have to go and rearrange the furniture in your bedroom!

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Ledkr · 07/08/2015 21:16

What time do you go to bed?
Dd goes up at 10ish and we go at 11, shes normally sparked out ready for us to have a big session ten minute quickie Grin

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Ledkr · 07/08/2015 21:16

Run her around the block a few times and put a brandy in her bedtime drink Grin

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AnyFucker · 07/08/2015 21:21

get a shed Wink

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hoobygalooby · 07/08/2015 21:23

Get a Tablet or iPod and headphones for her. Put a TV or radio on in your bedroom and buy a lock for your door!
If she hears anything she will assume it's the TV!

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NewLife4Me · 07/08/2015 21:27

You just have to make use of the time you have and get away from bedtime sex as the default for fun.
If she knows you are going for a shag she'll put earphones in, nobody wants to hear their parents.
tell her when you hat is on the door handle it's time for the earphones. Grin

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pocketsaviour · 07/08/2015 21:48

See whenever I watch Grand Designs and they have some weird layout with the kids bedrooms next to the parents or some mezzanine thing going on I'm always like "Do you never have noisy sex?! What's wrong with you!"

For some reason Kevin never points this out Shock

When my DS was at home and a teen, I basically accepted that we were only going to have satisfying sex first thing in the morning, or while he was out. Luckily he developed a fairly full social life and wasn't an early riser Grin

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pocketsaviour · 07/08/2015 21:50

OH, and my other tactic if we wanted some bedtime loving was to knock on his door and say "That's telly's awfully loud love, can you put your headphones on please?"

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SirChenjin · 08/08/2015 11:12

I'm liking the shed and brandy ideas....

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daydreamnation · 08/08/2015 11:44

Thanks all, great ideas but sadly we have a small garden and no shed, maybe it's time to buy one Grin

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Ledkr · 08/08/2015 12:20

The love shack

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daydreamnation · 08/08/2015 12:27

Indeed, although we'd probably have the dog howling outside every time we 'visited' it and then all and sundry would be looking out their windows, not just dd!

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SaggyAndLucy · 08/08/2015 12:34

Our teens are older. They are a nightmare, sitting up for hours into the night or just lurking about our tiny house the whole time. It didn't matter when DP and I got it together, there would always be some comment passed the next day. We even tried 3am. I got a text from DD asking if I was enjoying myself.
In the end we told them that we were grown adults, it's our house and if we want to have sex we will. And if the teenagers don't like it they can put their earphones in or go out. Angry
Then, DD2 came along and we don't have sex at all anymore. Confused

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RainbowRoses · 08/08/2015 12:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WallyBantersJunkBox · 08/08/2015 12:46

A text!!

Bloody hell.

God I'd have been ridiculously tempted to take a selfie and send it back with a thumbs up.

Please don't though! Grin

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Handywoman · 08/08/2015 13:44

Smile at Saggy

And Wally.

A text indeed! Bloody teenagers!

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