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Original poster

Do some penises just not get very hard?

37 replies

prisoner24601 · 03/08/2015 21:13

Namechange, not troll, penguin sanctuary, pouffe of poo, pom bears etc.

Had a new man round for dinner and sex. Not that that's what I said, but it was fairly obviously on the cards.
It's a long time since I've been up close with any penis other than my ex's, and a good while since that.
Was this just a first time nerves or something? Or do some just never get to that totally solid stage?
Everything else was pretty good, but this was a bit awkward. I didn't want to say "it's not all the way up" but that's how it felt to me.

OP posts:
Original poster
prisoner24601 · 03/08/2015 21:24

Anyone who has seen more penises than me want to share their experiences? I feel quite embarrassed asking this in the first place.

OP posts:
ALaughAMinute · 03/08/2015 21:25

Yes, probably just first time nerves, poor guy. How old is he?

irregularegular · 03/08/2015 21:27

They generally get less hard and upright as they get older...

ThoseAwfulCurtains · 03/08/2015 21:27

Have to say it's not something I've come across personally but I've heard it can be down to performance anxiety and passes over time.

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 03/08/2015 21:31

ooo, don't agree about the less hard and upright as they get older.

Not my experience - although only known one for the last 30 years

Original poster
prisoner24601 · 03/08/2015 21:34

30s, so neither young and inexperienced (probably) nor old and fading.

OP posts:
ThoseAwfulCurtains · 03/08/2015 21:37

Are you 100 percent sure he's single?

FreakinScaryCaaw · 03/08/2015 21:38

Dh is still good at 60!

Original poster
prisoner24601 · 03/08/2015 21:39

Not 100%, no, but I'd have to have done some serious stalking to be fully 100%.

I have no reason to believe that he is not single.

Why?

OP posts:
ALaughAMinute · 03/08/2015 21:42

This is a fairly common problem, even for men in their thirties. I wouldn't take it too personally if I were you, it's his problem not yours. That's not to say you can't help him by getting him to relax more but I wouldn't worry about it too much at this stage. Are you planning on seeing him again?

Stingingthistle · 03/08/2015 21:42

I have had this with one guy and it was apparently because he wasn't keen on condoms. Was better without but personally it still didn't feel as hard as it should Confused He was about 40.

CocktailQueen · 03/08/2015 21:43

Not age related necessarily!! And at his 30s, you have nothing to worry about!

Performance anxiety? Alcohol?

msrisotto · 03/08/2015 21:44

How much alcohol had he drunk by that point?

Original poster
prisoner24601 · 03/08/2015 21:44

My question is this:
Given that he ejaculated without ever getting what I would call "properly hard", is that likely to be "as hard as it gets"?
If that is it, I'm going to be a bit disappointed.
Or could it be just a bad day, and it'll perk up once it's more relaxed?

OP posts:
Original poster
prisoner24601 · 03/08/2015 21:46

x-posted with a few.
Yes I am planning on seeing him again.
Some alcohol but not loads.

OP posts:
Nevergoingtolearn · 03/08/2015 21:48

I wrote a similar post a month or so ago, I started seeing a guy with the same problem, it did get slightly better but never really hard, it was a shame as he was quite good in bed and could cum quite a few times. I found oral made him a bit harder.

ThoseAwfulCurtains · 03/08/2015 21:50

Because I know of a situation where the 'performance anxiety' was down to the fact that he was cheating on his wife.

Original poster
prisoner24601 · 03/08/2015 21:53

I think no wife. I've seen him weekdays and weekends, and he's nearly always been available on days that I have suggested.

OP posts:
TyrannosaurusBex · 03/08/2015 21:57

I had a boyfriend who was like this. It was a contributory factor in our relationship fizzling out.

ThoseAwfulCurtains · 03/08/2015 21:57

Hmmm, so not that then. I hope it sorts itself out. V disappointing if it doesn't.

Original poster
prisoner24601 · 03/08/2015 21:59

Thanks for your experiences. I'm not feeling completely reassured that it will get better but I hope it will.

OP posts:
Toffeelatteplease · 04/08/2015 00:32

I've known someone for whom this happens with red wine....

pocketsaviour · 04/08/2015 08:59

Were you using condoms? I've seen this happen a lot when the guy isn't used to the sensation.

pocketsaviour · 04/08/2015 09:00

I've seen this happen a lot

Now I sound like a connoisseur of wilting penises. Hmm

Summerlovinf · 04/08/2015 09:35

Yes seen a few early in relationship, possibly alcohol or nerves related.

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