Do some penises just not get very hard?

[prisoner24601]

Namechange, not troll, penguin sanctuary, pouffe of poo, pom bears etc.

Had a new man round for dinner and sex. Not that that's what I said, but it was fairly obviously on the cards.
It's a long time since I've been up close with any penis other than my ex's, and a good while since that.
Was this just a first time nerves or something? Or do some just never get to that totally solid stage?
Everything else was pretty good, but this was a bit awkward. I didn't want to say "it's not all the way up" but that's how it felt to me.

First time with DP it was like that and he came a few times. He told me he was a bit out of practice and to bear with him. I think it was just nerves as it wasn't like that again, he has no problem being rock hard!

Does he have diabetes or any health issues that you're aware of which may explain it?

IME some just do not get really stiff, some have been pretty limp and the guy has tried to pass it off as erect and some are just semi-stiff and whilst yes many do get less erect/stiff with age, I have known some men in their 20s even who had less than convincing erections that never improved no matter how relaxed they were. It is unfortunate but not all men are the same and some have never been what I consider to be even reasonably erect. So hard trying to get a floppy one in and difficult to feel much sensation I have found. Whilst having sympathy etc I would find it difficult to have a relationship with a man who never got past floppy as sex is very important. However, I know some women don't seem to mind - one guy was divorced after a 20 year relationship and told me that his 10% erect penis was his norm and what his wife had experienced for 20 years.

I had a relationship with a guy who could get really hard but couldn't keep it really hard. He was single - I knew because I knew his ex vaguely. He assured me he was over her but he would be really hard at the beginning and as it went on he would lose it a bit and we would have to really focus on it and it would stiffen up again but he had trouble coming inside me.

He was actually not over her at all and that was the problem with his penis. It was an emotional problem, not a physical one.

I was head- fucked by him and all his goings on. It took me a lng time but I realised I just was not going to be someone's second best.

6 months by myself where I just sorted myself out and kept away from men. Then met DH. He was as ready as I was to be in a relationship and he was always hard.

7 years later, he still is

I would just be wary. He might just be a bit nervous but keep an eye on it (so to speak) and if it does not get any better I would worry.

Maybe he was too excited and had to think about other things to last longer as not to disappoint!
I dont know what is worse, having a shag lasting ages with a semi or a quickie with it proper hard!

In my (albeit limited) experience guys who wank a lot over porn can experience this. Possibly due to the 'death grip' wanking hand.
One guy I was seeing stopped wanking altogether and his dick got much harder when we had sex.

Is he a smoker? That's a classic cause.

I've had a boyfriend with that problem, always happened when he had a glass of wine/pint of beer. No problem when he hadn't had a drink.

Why does it have to be a quickie if he is really hard? DH lasts as long as I need him to and he is always really hard. We have 'techniques' to stop it being a quickie - unless we want a quickie.

I struggle sometimes. I put it down to getting older, but I recently found out I have high blood pressure, which is apparently a major cause. I will be interested to see if any of the treatments restore my lost enthusiasm.

However, when it doesn't work, it's not a problem (or so dp tells me). It just means I have reservations at a sushi restaurant.

Eww- horrible expression!

it could be that he smokes. My STBXH became softer and was told that it was down to his smoking habit