Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Sex

You need to have been registered for 7 days to post in the Sex forum. Please don’t send unwanted PMs to other users.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Am I shortchanging DP?

45 replies

OtisSpankmyarse · 29/07/2015 18:49

Basically whenever we have sex I ask him not to finish inside me. If it's morning then I need to go to work, if it's nighttime then I hate sleeping in a puddle, but I just don't like it inside basically. I'm fine with the PIV shagging bit, just the mess at the end. We've been doing it this way for a few years and he's got quite good at whipping it out at the appropriate moment. It's not a contraception issue, and condoms are not an option. Have tried running to the loo after, but there always seems to be some left which appears when you least expect it! Occasionally he will ask if it's ok to finish inside me and that's fine I always say yes, it's different, more intimate I suppose. DP hasn't complained or anything, he says everything is fine, but still I wonder if I'm being fair or if he/we are missing out.

OP posts:

Happy36 · 29/07/2015 18:57

Can you have sex at a different time of day sometimes so that it is less inconvenient for him to finish inside you?

Itsbloodyraining · 29/07/2015 19:00

Just allow him sometimes and wear a pad after?

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 29/07/2015 19:12

Can't you have a quick shower afterwards, it would take seconds?.

Happy36 · 29/07/2015 19:25

But a shower doesn't get rid of it all, some of it pops out later on, as the OP says, at the least convenient time.

Agree with pad idea.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 29/07/2015 19:31

Do you not aim the shower head up your... up yourself?

AnythingNotEverything · 29/07/2015 19:33

I don't think you're supposed to do that Dame.

nikki1978 · 29/07/2015 19:34

Use a condom

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 29/07/2015 19:34

Why? It's only like having a bath, isn't it?

dementedpixie · 29/07/2015 19:36

wear a panty liner the day after

Pippin8 · 29/07/2015 19:37

Put a tampon in for a few hours to soak it up?

VelmaD · 29/07/2015 20:00

why are condoms out of the question?

we do a mix btw. some inside, some outside. just gone back to condoms for a while, so he deals with the mess not me for a while. taking turns, works for us.

Original poster

OtisSpankmyarse · 29/07/2015 21:17

Condoms ... we both hate them, horrible things. Great for teenagers and casual flings etc obviously, but we've been together for over a decade. Not sure about squirting the shower up there, pads are an option but hmmm. I don't want to sound like I've got spermophobia (is that a thing?), I'm not squeamish and I don't mind where it lands (except in my hair). Anyway, I appreciate the advice but really I was wondering more about whether we are missing out on an emotional connection - if your DP doesn't come inside you some or all of the time does it make a difference?

OP posts:

VelmaD · 29/07/2015 21:27

if youve not used them in a decade it might be worth trying some of the newer ones on the market. ive been surprised in the difference since i got with exh in 2003 to being with DP in 2013.

WallyBantersJunkBox · 29/07/2015 21:32

Ask him if he feels short changed?

Minime85 · 29/07/2015 21:48

I wouldn't worry about it if he isn't bothered. It is about both of you.

I like it if I'm honest but agree it is messy I go straight to loo and then quick shower and then loo again as if I don't prone to thrush and cystitis. Doesn't take long and I sleep in my birthday suit. No puddles or anything.

pocketsaviour · 29/07/2015 22:16

I think if you're both happy with it, it's fine. I do know what you mean, there's always a bit left, isn't there? My ex used to finish on my face or bum and I found it really hot actually.

LuluJakey1 · 29/07/2015 23:41

I like DH to come inside me, it feels really intimate. Sometimes he asks if he can do it on other bits of me and I like that too but not as much as I like him inside me. I asked him what he thought after reading this and he said the same as me. Likes to do it on other bits as well but likes to do it inside me best.

I'm not bothered by the mess- I like it tbh. If we do it in the mornings, I have a shower and use a tampon for a bit afterwards for work. Any other time, I go to the loo and wee and wipe or sometimes just stay in bed and wipe with tissues. If it leaks it isn't much- just on me- and I shower anyway in the morning.

Original poster

OtisSpankmyarse · 30/07/2015 00:57

Wally - he says he doesn't, but he knows it's what I prefer anyway.

Pocket - bum is ok though I can't watch the 'action', face doesn't appeal, how do you stop it getting in your hair? I think we're happy, yes.

Lulu - I think inside is more intimate, but watching him come is really sexy, I think so anyway. Usually he just does it on my tummy or between my legs, sometimes asks if he can do it on my boobs, whatever I don't mind, I keep a packet of wet wipes by the bed so it doesn't really matter where it goes. I've offered to finish him in my mouth but he's not a big fan of blow jobs so we don't really do that.

The more I think about it I'm thinking we're fine really. Love MN, could never talk like this in real life, I'd be mortified!!

OP posts:

AlpacaMyBags · 30/07/2015 01:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

itsbetterthanabox · 30/07/2015 09:35

My partner never comes inside me. And we use condoms.
Unnecessary risk in our opinion. If you are orgasming it doesn't matter where you are pointed you are still orgasming! Such a silly thing to worry about. Him not being able to jizz inside your body is not 'short changing' him and you don't have to think of a solution. You aren't just an orifice.

mummyfumble · 30/07/2015 09:49

Surely knowing you've got to pull out will detract from the feeling of impending orgasm, i.e. it's not very conducive to abandon.

FWIW I squat in the bathroom when I go to the loo or shower afterwards and it all comes out.

WallyBantersJunkBox · 30/07/2015 10:08

It is a nice closeness, I like the last few abandoned thrusts and the way Dp clings with his thighs tight around me and collapses. Then he can stay snuggled until he slips out... Not have to do the bathroom dash.

I love falling asleep with the warm wet feeling, and the smell of him on me when he leaves in the morning.

But sounds like you are compromising effectively.

Original poster

OtisSpankmyarse · 30/07/2015 13:28

at 'wheely bin juice'!

Agree about the 'abandoned' feeling and the clinging on while he comes, thanks, that's what I was trying to say. The squatting technique might work, could use tissues or perhaps some kind of 'beaker' .... we could get matching ones

OP posts:

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 30/07/2015 16:29

Seriously though , it's a bit of semen, it's not like there's gallons of the stuff, how inconvenient can it really be?

LuluJakey1 · 30/07/2015 16:43

I like him being close to coming and the whole intimacy of it - the telling me and eye contact and the about there and final thrusts and the kisses and pushing tight against me when he comes and the collapsing on me still inside me and the holding.
Hmm, if it wasn't for an 8 month old who is tireless, I would drag him off to bed right now. He is giving me a puzzled look because I am gazing at him and smiling at him as he plays with DS on the floor. He's just said 'What????' in a confused sort of way.

Flip

1 2

This topic prevents users from posting on it until they have been members for at least 7 days.