orgasm?!

[kitkat1989]

hi all

but tmi... have been with dh for 6 years now and am really ashamed to say hes never given me an orgasm :/ its not that hes bad at sex i just find that i cant relax enough during sex to get to that point plus sex only ever lasts 5/10 minutes for some reason

i can get myself there no problem its just dh aarrggh!

anybidy else have this?

I've never had an orgasm with someone else in the room! Not just you

You have to relax. I only just about manage it when I'm on top with me being in control, if he is in control; there is no hope. I have to 'feel' it. And it took a lot of practice and mishaps before getting there. Good luck

Foreplay? Does he make you cum from that? Have you tried different positions? Is it because he Dosent last long?

I found that after the first orgasm, they tend to happen alot.easier because youre so sensitive

And relax, have fun, book a dirty weekend away or something

I'm quite lucky in that I find I can reach orgasm quite easily, but it does take loads longer when I'm not on my own. I think that's because I'm too aware of the effort that's being made! For me my mind has to be absolutely in it. If you put yourself under any pressure it won't happen.

Foreplay is much more likely to have success. Try and guide him to do the things that work for you.

And as already said, as far as sex goes, try being on top. That way you can experiment with different angles/movements.

There's a sex board ?

It sounds like time could be the issue for you. If it's 5 to 10 mins from start to finish including foreplay? That is not alot of time to get into it and start to relax. If you haven't already, maybe talk to your dh about spending a bit more time on foreplay for you. Also look up exercises for him to do. To allow him to last a bit longer.

thanks for th replies! inc foreplay can b anywhere from 10 to 30 minutes but never any longer. im alwayz really put off cos he just watches me! no matter whether im doin stuff to him too he just stares at my face it makes me paranoid lol

I can't orgasm from PIV sex it has to be oral or manual, apparently a lot of women are like this. Try and do what works during masturbation, maybe get a bullet vibrator and use it on yourself during penetration, or use your hands, or show him what you like. It is very hard not to feel self conscious and to totally let go but you will get there, I think I had a few drinks to loosen up before I finally managed to orgasm during sex with my partner (using a vibrator/manual stimulation) good luck!

Can you orgasm when you masturbate? You probably need to show him what to do, maybe with a bullet vibe or mini rabbit if you can only get off clitorally. And say to him "I know you're looking at me because you love me but it's making me really self-conscious!"

I can only orgasm through oral or with a vibrator on my clit. I enjoy penetration sometimes but it's not my main jam.

Does he do to you, the same things that you do to yourself to make yourself orgasm? Have you shown him what to do?
Do you make yourself orgasm when you are having sex with him?
A small bullet vibe might help.

Have you ever had a conversation with him about this? It's unlikely to change if he doesn't know what you want and don't want.

have you tried oral? it's the best way!

Since when did the sex board appear

Your husband or vibrator are only part of what gives you an orgasm...it's the brain that plays the main role..think of something that really stimulates you or a fantasy. If your uncomfortable by him staring at you tell him or suggest you put a blindfold on him.

As said above - have you clearly shown him how you need to be touched?

If you haven't, then the blame can't be laid solely at his door can it?

And he's watching you because he's trying his best to give you the ultimate pleasure one can give one's partner, and he's dead keen to do this but he knows it's not happening and he feels like he's letting you down and he's trying really hard to please you and he feels he's letting you down.... pressure.

Talk. Demonstrate. Laugh. Relax. Good luck op.

thanks for all the comments! i have shown him i dont think its anything hes doing or not doing necessarily i think maybe im just not a penetrative type of person and struggle to relax enough! i have body hang ups and issues with myself so its likely its more me than him!

i think maybe im just not a penetrative type of person
The vast majority of women do not orgasm through penetration.
Can you stimulation your clit while he is inside you?

There is so much pressure on women to be having drop of the hat orgasms from piv sex alone! The female orgasm is more about the mind, the male is more about the visual.

It took me a long time to orgasm with someone else in the room, although I never had any problems getting there myself. I needed to feel totally comfortable and trust the person I was with. We tried sex toys at first and that was my breakthrough. The rest followed easily!

But until my DH, I was only able to orgasm through manual/oral stimulation. Now I can actually manage it through piv sex and no stimulation. But this only happens when I am really in the mood and right place - I need to be on top, relaxed, not too tired etc. I also need to know that there's no pressure to - I get what you're saying about being watched!

I'd recommend starting off with a sex toy, if your OH is amenable (sadly they aren't always). Then try other methods. Start small and build up. Throughout it all, communicate! One thing I struggle to make my DH understand is that sometimes, just sex without orgasm is good for me - it's about the closeness and connecting. It's so important that you do not feel pressured.

I'd also really recommend spending some time with yourself, exploring what works, what makes you feel good and turns you on. Taking this knowledge into the bedroom with you will really pay off.

Finally, please don't believe everything you read! I just saw a post by by a lady claiming she has 10 orgasms in an hour. Good for her if she's telling the truth, but this is not a usual experience outside of a porno

I always thought I was a freak for not having an orgasm through PIV sex and also just assumed my partners were shit in bed

and never told anyone, not even my friends as I was embarassed

but actually think its quite common

I also think women feel pressure to orgasm through PIV sex :/

brokenhearted... ahem... what you did you tell your friend to do?

Broken, you have to share now ????

kitkat, must admit I find it easier alone but when I do orgasm with DH it seems so much more intense. Not often through PIV tho if I'm honest

"public bone"