Y8-2023/2024

We are doing a lot better - no tears or meltdowns before school for a few months now, and he has dealt really well with school trips and the exam week they just had. He wears ear defenders in school as it seems he has some sensory issues and has said it helps him. Still struggles with anxiety but a lot better than we were. School currently still seeming willing to make "reasonable adjustments" which work (I walk him to the school gate and he goes to nurse at start of day before form time to get settled, calls me for 5min at lunchtime, sits and reads with receptionist or nurse at break or lunchtime if feeling overwhelmed, misses games afternoon once a week to see therapist) and he is making friends with some other quirky kids. My gut is September will be challenging due to all the changes of a new year, but by Spring we should be in a good space again. He is still a long way from him peers, but is slowly gaining in confidence, and doing really well academically. In hindsight I think he would have benefited from being in a school that went to 13 and switching at the start of Year 9. Going into a massive secondary with sixth form (1400 kids) after being in a tiny (40 kids in the whole school) primary at age 11 was just too much for him, particularly as a summer baby young for his year.

@usernamebore Congrats!! 13+ works if all children starts at that age otherwise friendship groups been established from Year 7 and DC needs to start selecting GCSEs subjects plus new school and clubs. If 13+ have a large enough cohort that is fine but if only a few it would be quite daunting.

Here we are, nearly at the end of the year! How is everyone doing?

I feel like a weight has been lifted from my mind since last week, as the 'mean' girl on the bus has had a change of heart and apologised to my DD. The best thing is that it was managed in a very mature way by the girls: mean girl's friends drifted away, and another girl took it upon herself to explain to mean girl how she had been making my DD feel for months.

This is the last week for us, and DD is currently away on a residential trip. I hope everyone's DCs have restful summers and go into Y8 positively.

I can't believe we are at the end of year 7. DD survived and is looking forward to their end of year school trip. She did amazingly according to her progress report but I don't know why she lacked confidence about her abilities. We'll tackle that in September. I think we are both ready for a break.

Also, she asked me if she'll need a computer for university and whether she'll need to find money for it. It's very sweet she's worried about this already.

Wow! How is it the end of the school year already?! DC has admitted tonight they’re going to miss school over the summer!
Unsure as to how much DC has achieved academically but has thrived socially in school and enjoys going so I’m taking that as a win! I feel he’s modelled himself as a cheeky chappy and despite a handful of detentions for talking, I don’t think he’s got himself in too much trouble. I hope everyone’s DC’s have enjoyed their first year. Here’s to another successful 4 years 🤞🏻

@LetItGoToRuin that's really good to hear, and a nice ending to the year.

Sounds like everyone is wrapping up, a whole academic year over! Residential was last week, as part of enrichment week activities. Final week now, had reports for the second part of the year. Prize giving was 2 weeks ago. I'm quite happy with how DS has managed school, he did stress a little too much during the exam period, but I think it's helped him understand how to balance work and play

@1of2 - with how quickly this year has gone, won't be long before we're on the last leg 😬
Good to hear it's been an overall good year for your dc

@LetItGoToRuin thats wonderful about the apology, sounds like it was handled well and good to be ending on a positive note like that.

I can’t wait for the holidays to start. Y7 has gone so much better than I could have expected it but exhaustion is setting in.

Can't believe how quickly the year has gone & how grown up & independent she has become.
Dd is very settled now & seems to have done really well. Still not a lot of homework or oomph for studying but has represented the school a lot at sport which is her thing, avoided detention all year & avoided most of the friendship issues.
Her bestie is moving away over the summer so expecting the beginning of yr8 to come with new challenges.
I'm really glad she chose the all girls school even when I wasn't keen having heard tales from her friends in co-ed local schools!

Great to hear all the positive updates!

@CouldNotStayAway mentioned prize giving. Is that sort of thing common in every year in secondary schools? It wasn't a thing in my own school (a lot of years ago!) but it was introduced there a few years later. I haven't heard of this happening in DD's school either: we had the reports last week, and DD said there was the usual termly assembly in which badges were awarded for those that achieved a certain number of merits, but there don't seem to be any subject prizes.

On a related note, how does everyone feel about the level of information received from the school? DD's report was quite 'broad brush' in terms of exam results, overall attainment and approach to learning (think Excellent, Very Good, Good, Reasonable etc). I'm not worried (and DD is delighted: she hates overt competition) but am slightly surprised there's so little detail. I can only assume that they are trying to discourage competitiveness in grammar school girls (and their parents!) but I don't really know. Is this approach unusual?

They don't do a big prize giving evening or anything parents can go to at my DD's school, but they do subject awards every term for attainment and effort. I like that they do effort as it means someone who tries hard but maybe isn't top of the class can be recognised.

We had a broad brush end of year report too. Just a grid with scores for attitude to learning, what level they're working at and what they got in end of year tests. My bug bear with that is they put green/amber/red colour coding on it to show where children aren't meeting their targets. My DD has high targets because she did well in the Cats at the start of term and Y6 Sats. She's good at those sorts of tests but she doesn't just find everything easy. So she had a fair bit of red and amber on her report card even though she's doing well in everything. Just not the top of the class well her targets suggest. I still don't understand why being good at maths and English means you should be good at art and music.

@LetItGoToRuin I didn't think DS school had such event. My school and siblings had prize giving, or speech day, as it was called in my siblings school and DS school. Year 7 didn't receive subject prizes, only either form prize, or something else that was exceptional (most books read and reviewed sort of thing), or musical/sports talent.
It's good to hear the school discourages competitiveness, DS is at all boys grammar, and there's definitely low level competition going on.

The end of year report was ok. They use SATs results and in school assessments to derive target grade. DS didn't do SATs, so they've used similar scoring pupils data. The target grades are good, DS was pleased. Very brief comments from all teachers involved.

Do other schools have gcse choices consultations in year 8? I've heard of year 9, but I believe DS school, choices are made in year 8. However, in year 9 they continue with a full timetable of all subjects (as far as I've understood from an 11 year old 😂).

Dtds have sailed through Year 7 and seem to be flourishing and having their talents recognised in ways primary never did. They are youngest in the year (30 August premature babies) so I’ve spent years worrying if we should have kept them back. I’m so glad we didn’t. There’s a few mean girls but mine avoid them and have made the loveliest friends. It’s our first real year 7 as dd1 was Year 7 in 2019-2020 and it was all about covid. They’re still shorter than others but I think Year 8&9 they’ll shoot up.

@CouldNotStayAway our school used to choose gcse options in Year 8 and start in Year 9. After a term they then dropped one or two. Coming out of covid they felt pupils hadn’t fully experienced all the subjects so moved back to year 9 choosing and Year 10 starting.

@RosieRiveting DS report has colour coding, yellow (working above target grade), green (at target grade), amber (1 or 2 grades below target ), red (basically way off target).- along those lines, not exactly how it appears on report; but that's the general gist.

@TeenLifeMum I see, that does makes sense. There will be a parents consultation evening, early on in year 8, until then I don't think I'll fully understand what's what 😂

It’s interesting that most other schools (comprehensives and grammars) seem to have some sort of targets based on SATs or CATs or the school’s own baseline assessment. No sign of this in DD’s school. They will have their SATs results (though some coming from private schools may not have done SATs) and their 11 plus results (not sure if they can use those to obtain a predicted grade?) but they didn’t do CATs or any internal assessments in the autumn, as far as I could tell. Presumably there must be some progress tracking though, otherwise they wouldn’t end up with a Progress 8 score? I will just have to trust the system!

In a way I’m relieved though, as I think DD would get quite cross if she was deemed to be underperforming in art because of good SATs results as @RosieRiveting has described. Rosie, I hope your DD can accept the colour coding as the blunt instrument it evidently is!

No talk of options in Y8 – I’m pretty sure they don’t choose until Y9 at DD’s school. We don’t even know whether they are setting for any subjects in Y8 – they haven’t so far.

Great to hear that your twins are flourishing in secondary, @TeenLifeMum. I am relieved that DD is still very much ‘herself’ in secondary – her new friends are a good fit so she doesn’t have to pretend to be someone else to fit in, and her teachers notice the same qualities that her primary teachers noticed. That shouldn’t really come as a surprise, but her cohort are quite different to primary, so I’m relieved that she has settled so well.

@LetItGoToRuin I saw from a previous post of yours that your DD is at my former school (I hope that doesn't come across as stalker-y, it's just that your username stuck in my mind when I saw my school mentioned!). On the subject of prize giving, when I was there they had a prize giving ceremony for the previous academic year in September/October, with one award for each subject in each class as well as some sporting and 100% attendance awards. It may well have changed since then, but just letting you know that there could well still be a prize giving ceremony for the academic year after the holidays.

Well here we are at the end of year 7, surviving but I wouldn't exactly say thriving.

Ds has had a challenging year.

Positives:

He has made a lovely new group of friends and has also remained friends with some of his peers from primary school.

He is coping better than I expected with the demands of homework, packing his bag etc.

Attendance is good.

Challenges:

Currently awaiting assessment for ADHD, although haven't heard anything about what's meant to be happening, or indeed if I need to do anything. School are making small steps in supporting him to manage his distractions, sitting him separately in what he has named "the naughty corner" but in other subjects he is receiving no support and actually being punished with negative behaviour points.

Not achieving many of his targets - emerging and developing in most areas with one or two mastering and established.

A couple of silly instances on WhatsApp that resulted in calls home from school, but I am actually really proud of his more recent behaviour that I have observed on his phone, demonstrating responsibility and a caring nature to his friends.

We are now in full teenager mode, despite him not even being 12 yet, he's moody, spotty, grunts in response to questions (if you're lucky), and personal hygiene is let's say, lacking!! 🥴

Im sad this is the first time I've seen this thread as it would have been helpful earlier in the year. Let's keep it going in to year 8! Have a great summer everyone!

Thanks, @ThePearTree! DD told me yesterday that each form tutor has given an award to one student in their form (a nice citizen / good friend type of award) so I assumed that was all there would be. Maybe more will come next term.

@SwirlyShirly lovely that you have found us, and I agree that we should keep it going (or start a new one with an appropriate name!) next year! I think friendships are the absolute most important thing about school, so you should definitely hang onto the positive there. It sounds like the school need to start to understand your DS a bit better so they can reward the positives and make some sensible adjustments. Best of luck with keeping on top of this - your DS sounds like he's doing his very best.

Shall we start a new one for Y8? Or ask MN to amend the title of this one? If we stay on it I think we'll get a lot of new Y7 parents joining.

@SwirlyShirly sorry things are tough for your DS. It's really poor if he's being punished for things out with his control. My DD is autistic and the one thing I've learned is you always have to be That Parent in these situations. Never assume anyone is going to do something even if they've said they will. Just keep talking and pushing for help. Doesn't mean being aggressive, I kill all the schools with kindness. "How can we work together to solve this" is my mantra.

I had the Leavers photos from Primary last year pop up on Facebook and its making me reflect...

She has grown in confidence so much this year. She's done things id never have imagined... including auditioning and having a part on the school musical next term. Just dancing... but considering she had (has) selective mutism its quite amazing.
She loved school camp, was selected to go on a trip to University, meeting/exceeding targets... very proud of her.

Starting to get some teenage style sulks though.

I thought we did well but I spoke too soon. DD told me yesterday they had a fall out in her friendship group and she's not sure who she will go with in their activities (school trip) day. I hope she survived today and come home happy.

Last day tomorrow here too

DD1 has had a reasonable year

positives

Made new friends and still friends with some of her old primary school chums
Loved some new subjects - Spanish, Drama for a start
,Has been in the school musical and sports teams
,Excellent grades for the end of year 7.. mainly 7s,8s,9s

challenges

Tutor Group - is has been a very challenging group of kids and DD hgas really struggled with the dynamics
The group is actually being disbanded for year 8 so hoping that will be better

Friendship struggles - mainly to do with mobile phones

All in all we have done ok and looking forward to a lovely summer

@SwirlyShirly it's good to see you've found us 😊

It's sad to read your DS has had a tough time, hopefully school will take more time understanding and incorporating what works for your DS.
Mine recently turned 12, and I do feel the younger ones take a little bit longer to get there with the rest (or maybe just my DS 😂).

@RosieRiveting seems like a good idea to keep this going but amend the title. I started this with the hope that reading others experiences would mean I'd be better prepared, and it honestly helped. Especially when there was WhatsApp drama, friends falling out and so on.
(In case anyone is wondering why I didn't go back to old username- I deleted MN, so can't access old account 😂- and of course I couldn't stay away for long 🤣)