school extra curriculum activities - does your child do any?

[rey]

Odd question to ask now but I have given up hope of our ds ever joining anything. Anyone out there feel the same or is there still hope and if they don't join anything is it frowned upon at your dc's school?

Why have you given up hope? I don't understand what the problem is.

Please elaborate.

DS1 (presently yr5) is likely to be a completely non-doer for years to come. It used to get me down but now I see all the positives.

DD does as much as is possible and the pupils are all encouraged to find something. There is an enormous choice of lunch/ afterschool club stuff. She does sports and art stuff.
But She is in Year 8 and there is a growing group who believe they are too cool/ whatever the term is to be doing such stuff. I would be gutted if she was swallowed up in that school of thought.

I am hoping that ds will do some after school stuff in September when he goes to secondary. I will work till 3.30 so wouldnt be available to pick him up, unless he did an afterschool club to fill in some time first. The alternative is for him to have a 45 minute walk home. Time will tell!

DS was a bit of a non joiner but now that he's in year 8 he does all sorts - science club, creative writing club, lunchtime Mandarin and a film making club at another school. Some of his friends are starting to drop out of stuff because "it isn't cool" but DS seems to be sticking at it.

DD1 did nothing and DD2 did everything but she us easing off now that she's in the sixth form.

I was always a non-joiner, but I don't think there was any reason for my mother to be gutted (she wasn't!): I had a very full and active life outside of school hours, it just wasn't a life organised by anybody else. Don't really see why that makes it inferior. I spent a lot of time reading history and learning languages; don't see why that would have been better if it had been done at an organised history or language club: the advantage of doing it myself was I could do it at my own pace (=fast).

Dd does nothing at school, but goes to an excellent drama school at weekends. Ds did football until the after-school club dropped it.

I think extra curricular activities are great; DD is still in maternelle so doesn't do much but as of next year, when she is in primary, she will do several. She adores any kind of school trip/outing/show etc so I am sure she will love extra curricular stuff.

I think it is very important to a child's development to learn to have hobbies with their peers.

My dd used to be a doer, 5 hours of gymnastics a week, 7 hours of swimming, trumpet and piano lessons, and then all activities offered after school at school. I look back now and wonder how I fitted it in.

She's now in y8 chosen to do 1 hour of gym a week, and 30mins of swimming, and has stopped everything else.

Obviously the cool thing is doing the rounds at her school webwiz.

At DC's school clubs are postively encouraged. When they start in yr7 there is a clubs event night to show all the clubs available and they are encouraged to join at least 2.

DD does guitar Club, a language club, science club,drama and .

DS has done science, chess, electronics and does backstage for the drama dept

they both have gone to a breakfast trampolining club.

DCs school don't have a playground as such, sold off for sports centre so only have football pitches and a field so they want to keep the children busy.

DD1 (12, yr8) did science, chess, recorder and computer clubs at junior school. In year 7 did football, science, choir and later orchestra Tried one or two other crafty type clubs but they didn't last. This year she dropped the football ( too much hanging around) and also the science as it clashed with choir, started maths club but the club fizzled out. Also auditioning for school play. She also goes karate twice a week, since age 6.

DD2 (7 yr2) tried karate, didn't like it loves drama, singing dancing. Tried a weekend drama etc club and didn't like it. Hopefully will take up something when it becomes available at school. Meanwhile happier singing and dancing in her bedrom with her hairbrush.

My 2 dc have to join an after school club. There are loads on offer and they can do as many as they want.

Ds goes to tennis club and computer club (when it's on) and dd goes to the biology room club to help look after the school gerbils, rabbits and snakes. She is joining the art club too. If they have time next term they will join Aikido too.

Does your ds not want to join any or are there no clubs on offer that interest him? Maybe get him to try one where one of his friends goes already?

MY DC have both done quite a lot, but DD was a bit intimidated for a while as peers in form frowned/mocked her classical interests. It took her about a year of secondary school to realise she should just follow her interests and not care what others thought was cool. Music then became more and more important to her and its been a joy - still is now she's at uni.

But there are non-joiners in life and I think as long as they are happy and exploring the world in some way, that's fine. It doesn't have to be at school. And I agree with the point above that some clubs are boring for the bright children. My daughter is a wonderful linguist and doing languages at Cambridge now - she left the local French club for primary age as it involved too much colouring in!! We found lots of other groups as time went on which she found much more interesting and fun. NO use sending to things they find boring.

rey - repeat after me " they're all different "
for what it's worth my DS not a joiner in .
And yes I actually do think it's frowned upon at secondary school but that's because his school has been taken over ( Academy ) by a posh paternalistic g*t who wants to " raise the social capital " of what he sees as his poor huddled masses .
I do worry ,but at least DS not out drinking and partying every night ,or distracted by girlfriends....

My DD joins and does pretty much everything (sports teams, orchestras, dancing, drama, D of E). Some of this is good but the downside can be sheer exhaustion and no time to just chill.

We have a regular parental cull so it doesn't get too out of hand and so she still has time to just "be".

However, both me and DH are busy busy folk so maybe it is genetic!

Year 9 DD now only does one activity. Reason she does not do more is basically, she will only do things if her friends do. So as friends drop out of things so does she - she's not very outgoing and doesn't have confidence to do things by herself.

DS Y6 never been a joiner. Does one sports activity and youth club - like DD will only do things that his friends do, but increasingly doesn't even want to do those. Just prefers gaming and TV

It does bother me. I'm not bothered about 'improving' activities but I am more concerned about their wider social life and interests.

DD year 8 does about 5 sporty things a week at lunchtime and after school- ds yr 6 has never been interested at primary school despite all that's on offer. He'd rather play footy in the playground. Plays cricket all summer and football in winter for teams.
But he is planning all sorts of school clubs- all sport- in September.
I agree that yr 8 is when it's "not cool" but dd doesn't care. Has meant a few friendship issues, but she's sorted them out.
She also does 4 hours of singing/piano at the weekend.

Not only does it depend on the child, it also depends on the school, IMHO, at least in our case.

DS is at a very academic school where they push, push, push so when he gets in in the evening he wants to chill and only does 2x sports activities across 5 weekday evenings (though he does do a minimum of 6 hours at weekends).

DD at more relaxed local school so able to cope with more extra-curricular stuff in the evenings. She does 4x sports activities in the week (2x tennis, netball, cricket) plus Guides plus guitar lessons plus matches for school/club in all of the above at weekends. DD hasn?t yet started to consider shopping a sport, but some of her friends definitely have, so I guess it?s coming

DD did quite a bit in Y7 and Y8 - choir, school musical, dance club, eco-council.

Now in Y9 this has dwindled to a lunch time charity club.

However, she is involved in other activities out of school such as guides and a youth orhcestra so it doesn't really bother me.

DC3 still at primary and is a natural joiner so does everything in sight.

DC1 & 3 attend local music school

DC1, 2 & 3 attend first aid club. In fact I'm surprised DC2 has stuck with it.

I like activities outside school as they take the pressure off school friendships.

Some kids like to join, some dont. I wouldnt worry about it.

Some schools do care about attendance at after school activities .
DS's secondary school is an Academy and attendance is compulsary for 2 sessions a week - idea is that all pupils need their "social capital " raising ( I'm not joking here ) and some sort of Trojan horse policy that I can't quite follow .
Get them to stay after school and more time to indoctrinate them into being good scholars ,or some such thinking .
DS is in 6 th form and escapes most of this patronising .

Yeah, they're all different.

Ds joins everything.

Dd hates the very mention of the words club and society.

I never joined anything, which I do regret a little.

violetqueen - you are so right so what is it that makes me want him to be the same but not follow the crowd! Stupid mother I suppose. The school seem to make a big thing about children joining in, being a team player, etc so that's why I grow concerned that he has no interests and if you have no interests aren't the changes of you going astray or being a loner greater - Yes I know but just needed you lot!

• I meant to say nothing seems to interest him other than pc of course!