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Secondary education

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Original poster

Let's help each other through the eleven plus nightmare!

52 replies

2009 · 03/09/2009 11:49

Thought I would start a new thread for all of us whose year 6 dc are taking 11+ or selective entrance tests this term ( and who don't want to soend hours with the obsessives on the elevenplusforum )

My DS started Y6 yesterday and told me that many of his classmates are already talking non-stop about the exams and it made him nervous already

He will face a full battery of grammar and independent school tests starting from Sept through until Jan. I have bulk ordered the Gin and Tonics from Tescos already

OP posts:
NoahFence · 05/09/2009 16:26

god this was us last year - you "enter " the whole htin thinking you will be so cool and non pressure, and well ti aint.

GrapefruitMoon · 05/09/2009 19:20

Can I hijack and ask if there are tutors out there who will go through a few past papers with your dc, give them a mock test and then tell you if it is worth while trying for a place?

The reason I ask is that we live quite a way from our nearest selective school and according to their website, if two children have the same mark then the one nearest the school gets the place (obv this is for the last few places). So being realistic my dc would need to score well in comparison to other kids to get a place, rather than just scrape in.

I'd rather not go down that route at all if he had very little chance of getting a place so would rather know sooner rather than later iyswim...

margotfonteyn · 05/09/2009 22:21

Agree with NoahFence. been through it three times (successfully...) but it doesn't get better each time. Is very stressful. Good luck everyone!

Original poster
2009 · 06/09/2009 17:44

Milliways - would be interested to know how you dealt with DD's confidence after she didn't get through?

I am quite worried about the affect it may have on DS if he doesn't pass. He has a habit of putting himself down if he doesn't think he is good at something.

GrapefruitMoon - yes most tutors will do an assessment for you. However, what they are most likely to say is that with some tuition the child will do better (obv!). I do know one tutor who basically told the parents that it would not be worth keeping on with the tutoring, the parents reaction was not good.

OP posts:
Milliways · 06/09/2009 20:03

2009: At the school DD applied to, the exam was ONLY a VR & NVR paper. Partly we explained to her that they were testing her ability to understand a very specific type of question. (She would have had more luck with DS's school which has only One of VR or NVR, plus they do Maths, Eng comprehension & an essay paper).

We also said she had not "failed" anything. That school takes the top 100 girls from ANY area that wants to apply and is prepared to commute, so competition is unbelievable.

But the main tack we took was that we had a TOTAL faith that our prayers would be answered and that she would only be given a place at the school that would be right for her, and where she was supposed to be. Sounds barmy to non faith people but it worked for us, prayers were answered (not totally clear at the time) and she went on to thrive at the local comp.

margotfonteyn · 06/09/2009 20:51

I think you have to say that there is no way they have 'failed'. They have to understand it is a lottery to a certain extent. I drummed into mine (perhaps wrongly) that it was more than likely they wouldn't get a place as the school was so oversubscribed, but that there was no harm in trying. Thus was a nice surprise when they did, but would not have been disasterous had they not gained a place.

However, it is terribly stressful forcing encouraging them to practise the papers whilst also telling them it is not the end of the world if they don't get a place.

In the end, all you can do is practise up to a certain point when they are getting the best score they can, and then just leave it. As Milliways DD has shown, and plenty of my friends' children have done so, they are just as likely to succeed at a different school. I do understand it is so easy to say that now I've been through it but my DCs are older and all their contemporaries have done really well regardless of which school they got into, in the end.

ShellingPeas · 06/09/2009 22:03

My DS sits his practice paper next Saturday with the full monty the week after. It's reassuring to hear from people who have been through it before that it works out okay even if they don't get the school of choice.

We have uber-selective grammars here and I've just said to my DS that he could do really well and still not get place so just do as well as you can on the day. I've kept it as low key as possible although he has seen a tutor once a week primarily because I had my education in NZ so was completely unfamiliar with what's required.

I will be pleased when it's over as I'm considerably more stressy about it than DS!

lilolilmanchester · 06/09/2009 22:24

our DD didn't pass 11+, is starting at the last school we wanted her to go to tomorrow - but have come to realise that actually, it is probably the right school for her. Good luck to all your DCs. I will watch out for those of you who don't get the results you are hoping for, as we are a year ahead I might just be able to support those of you who end up in the same position we were in last year.

Remotew · 06/09/2009 22:36

Must be stressful for you all. We didn't have the option for Grammar in our area. Just the Comps or private, which was out of the equation.

TIDDLYMUM · 10/09/2009 22:28

Our exams are this Sat and Sat after.

I am feeling v churned up though thanks goodness after some major wobbles a couple of weeks ago and some tears, my DS is pretty chilled out about it. Only been preparing for 18 plus months!

Must have done every type of relevant paper plus maths revision tonight. Going to have tomorrow night off. Trying to think what will be will be!

My lovely niece didn't pass last year, though won on appeal and didn't get a place anyway. My sister sent her way out of the area to a non selective high school. She started last week and loves it.

Good luck to anyone and everyone sitting these exams in the next few months xx

QOD · 10/09/2009 22:35

Yeah dd has tests next tues & weds then specific test for another grammar on the sat.
She has viral laryngitis & a streaming cold. Great timing!

Doobydoo · 11/09/2009 08:32

EEK QOD,hope she's ok soon.
Ds1 sits 1st exam this morning

QOD · 11/09/2009 14:08

OOOOoooooooooooooh DoobydooDs1 good luck!

We get results emailed after 4pm on 20th Oct - i expect fair results & to apply via appeal

Doobydoo · 11/09/2009 14:25

Thanks QOD,Hope you don't have to appeal.On what grounds do people appeal?
We get results Saturday 10th October,but I don't know how.
Also if he'passes'and we put his name on form for the Grammar we won't know which school he has been allocated until March.I was hoping that a pass meant he would automatically have a place.
Does anyone whhhhhhhho has been through this know if they give a percentage pass or how they do it?

drivinmecrazy · 11/09/2009 14:33

Sorry if question has been asked earlier in the thread as don't have time to read it all, but when is the best time to decide to go for 11 plus. DD1 has just started yr4, but I know of local parents who have started tutoring mid yr4.
Is tutoring essential, or is it acceptable just to go for it will very little prep?
I know it's a little early to decide, but she might have the opportunity to audition for White lodge (Ballet school), so we would like to start giving it some thought as to which line we should pursue as both will require significant commitment (not to mention cash).

Doobydoo · 11/09/2009 14:52

Hi There
Hopefully someone will be better able to answer your question than me.
Our ds has been mainly home edded and started this school last April[he was also 10 on 29th Aughust!]This is all new to us.His teacher told us that some chhhildren are tutored from year 4 and 5!...and that some children are not suited to the Grammar and go and others who would be suited don't get in.
I doubt if anyone would believe us but this is what ds1 wants to do [honest]we bought practice papers for him and he has done the odd one here and there but none over the holidays.
It can,apparently,be hugely competitive but as we don't know many people as we haven't been here long we have been spared that.
How exciting re Ballet School too.
Good luck with your decision for you and your dd.

ShellingPeas · 11/09/2009 15:10

Drivinmecrazy - most in my area (West Kent) will start tutoring beginning of Yr 5. This is for the "super-selective" grammar schools. My DS has had a year of tutoring, mostly because he is only just 10 and also to bring him up to speed on the maths side as much of the maths paper isn't covered in the curriculum until later in Yr 6 or even Yr 7.

We sit our practice papers tomorrow morning - had one or two tears this week which is hard to see, from a parent's POV. Still, DS can only do what he can do on the day. I'm probably even more stressy about it than him and I wish my DH could take him instead of me, but work commitments mean that's impossible.

Wish us luck!

TIDDLYMUM · 11/09/2009 15:52

Shelling Peas- do you have lots of kids? Thats a great name.

Best of luck to you, now first thing tomorrow for us. I feel a little nervous!

Dooby,hope your little one recovers- best not to sit if really poorly, I think most schools do a later one as a catch all for late entrants, poorly peeps etc.

TIDDLYMUM · 11/09/2009 15:53

Sorry it was QOD who has a poorly one x

ShellingPeas · 11/09/2009 16:08

Tiddlymum - NOOOOOOO! Only 2 which is more than enough. It's more a reference to my grandmothers who both had families of 9 (and I therefore have lots and lots and lots of cousins). But I'm glad you like the name

Good luck for you tomorrow too.

TIDDLYMUM · 11/09/2009 19:03

LOL!

My mum was one of 9 and dad one of 4 so know where you are coming from

Early to bed for DS. Glass of wine for me. Told DH to go out for Friday night beers early so he was back at reasonable time and fresh for driving us to the exam tomorrow.

However just saw him strolling past at 6.25 - which I though was taking me at my word a little literally!

cherryblossoms · 11/09/2009 19:46

QOD - If your dc is under the weather you should 'phone them and tell them. then get a doctor's note. Otherwise it won't go well at the appeal.

They will almost certainly book her in for a later test.

Upside; she will be healthy. Downside; she may lose impetus.

We had to do that with ds.

cherryblossoms · 11/09/2009 19:50

Doobydoo - depends completely on the school and how they allocate places.

You'll do better to post that question in the relevant area section, with the name of the school on the elevenplusexams website.

cherryblossoms · 11/09/2009 19:52

GOOD LUCK TO ALL OF YOUR DC (AND YOU)!!!!!!

Sorry - meant to post that first! and in one post. Trying to do homework with the small blossoms here and my brain is curdling.

Doobydoo · 11/09/2009 20:05

Thanks cherryblossoms have done it!
So glad ds1 has his dad's brain and not mine
Best of luck to all.