Can I have a quick survey: Are your secondary-age dc expected to attend parents' evening with you?

[frogs]

Cos at dd1's school it's strictly parents only. Now I can see that there are some advantages to this, that both sides can say things they might not want to say if the child was present.

But conversely, it would be quite helpful for the child to hear some things straight from the teacher's mouth, rather than relayed through the parent -- somehow has less impact that way.

I'd just be interested to see what other schools do -- I'm assuming the vast majority of secondary schools include the dc.

Yes, my DCs' secondary school expects children to attend with parents, although it's not compulsory.

I can see both sides but, on balance, I think it's better if DCs do attend.

It's not expected at our school but it's not frowned upon either. The kids usually find it mortifying though, unless they are saints, and try to avoid it if at all possible

strictly parents only at ours.

Yes ours are expected to go. Helps when you don't recognise the teachers

Yes, they want them to at mine. But my eldest didn't come as too embarrassed by me (she said)

yes ds used to come

dc included here
I wouldn't beable to find the right classrooms otherwise

def helps as teacher often speaks directly to dd ,especially i the older yrs

yes

BUT we never take them and our teacher friends do not either

today ds's teacher said he preferred it when under 16's do not attend

my friend said to me ' they just dont dish the dirt the same when the child is there'

Ah, so there is a mix. Could I ask also what kind of schools we're talking about to see if that makes a difference?

Dd1's school is a fairly old-fashioned grammar school and meetings are strictly parents=only (tho' I wonder if that changes at KS4 and 6th form).

comp

ggirl -- you have to find the classrooms? Ours they do it all in the hall. But it is 3-form entry only, so relatively small i guess.

I would have liked my eldest to hear what the teacher said (some of it was good ) but I don't think the teacher would have expressed it in the same way if she had been there so, um, don't know what I think.

dc's are old style grammars

both want the children there

dp and I do not want them there!

Comp and they use hall and classrooms

Yes, from Y7 onwards. There is an increasing expectation as they get older, and certainly 100% from the second half of Y10.

We find that about half of our Y7 and Y8 will tag along, which increases from there on.

big comp
they use hall and classes

State grammar; hall & dining room here

Seems to be a real mix.

I was a bit annoyed today that dd1 wasn't allowed to be there, cos it turns out that eg she's under the impression she's no good at French, whereas the teacher was talking blithely about how she's one of the strongest students, blahdiblah. If I'd know that she thought that, I'd have raised it with the teacher.

I think it's a pain in the arse that I have to take DD with me. DS1s school is no children. Fantastic. I find that the teachers talk more honestly without the children there. I think it would be helpful to have them there in 6th form but definitely NOT before. I'm in the middle of writing a letter to the Head to tell her my reasons why.

I think that if your child isn't doing well in a subject eg lack of focus, concentration and you agree with the teacher it can seem like 2 (or 3) against 1. Not nice.

I actually don't like them talking to my child. They can do that in school time. I want to know what I can do to help/encourage etc. Not enough time to get all that out whilst they are busy telling Jocasta, in an understanding kinda way, that she's not doing enough but not to worry it will all come good.

(Was that TMI frogs my lovely?)

Agree with Mars completely. Also, think your child will believe you more if you tell her that the teahcer told you she was good at French. If your child is there, I think your child (god, this is all confusing) may think that the teacher is "just saying that" to be polite.

No, Mars that was very thorough! I can imagine your ds1's school being of the 'no kids' attitude -- maybe the difference is more to do with the overall atmosphere and management of the school rather than any specific educational reason, maybe with the more traditional schools tending towards the parents-only end of things.

Mars i agree

dont do it...

today the teacher said to us 'where is T?' we said ' we prefer to do this without him' the teacher was chilled and said 'fine - i agree actually'

Selective grammar. Kids not expected to attend. A (very) few do, though - never sure why unless, as ggirl said, to act as native guides (I always spend much more time looking for the right classroom than talking to teachers)

Parents evening DCs are encouraged and teachers often talk directly to the child.

We only have 1 parents evening so we also have an academic review day where we attend a parents meeting to discuss progress (same as a parents evening only its during the day) the children dont go to school on this day but they must attend this meeting and be in full uniform!

We like them to attend and they must be in full uniform with top buttons done up!!