Can I have a quick survey: Are your secondary-age dc expected to attend parents' evening with you?

[frogs]

Cos at dd1's school it's strictly parents only. Now I can see that there are some advantages to this, that both sides can say things they might not want to say if the child was present.

But conversely, it would be quite helpful for the child to hear some things straight from the teacher's mouth, rather than relayed through the parent -- somehow has less impact that way.

I'd just be interested to see what other schools do -- I'm assuming the vast majority of secondary schools include the dc.

State comp, dc's expected to be there.

Very old fashioned high achieving girls grammar - not allowed to go WITHOUT the dc in question!

Optional but she usually comes with me. Will be away for the one coming up so it's OK for me to go on my own.

At ours they get the whole day off, but are expected to attend the 15 min mentoring session with the parent; otherwise it will count as an unauthorised absence. Secondary state school.

At the last session the teacher involved dd a lot, which I felt was good. After all, by the time you get to secondary a lot of the responsibility is going to be yours rather than your parents'.

seeker ours both say they want them there but what can they say when we turn up without them?

i take the baby - softens them up

NotanOtter, this school is so old fashioned and scary that it wouldn't cross my mind not to do what it tells me to do!

seeker!

At ds's today all the boys were rushing about playing 'manhunt' or somesuch at lunchtime

i said to dp 'my god this place is like Hogwarts i feel like i am in a time warp'

at this moment a gaggle of boys were clustered jumping around the trunk of a tree and i looked up and there was a hat or jersey or the like trapped amongst the branches.

A master strode up with a stick and the boys fell silent whilst he sternly prodded at the 'tricot' with his twig

they cheered when he freed it - He then silently strode off

I turned to dp 'this is surreal'

ds1's school (comp) expects/encourages students to be there.

I agree completely. For some teachers it's an aide memoire as to who the student is , but it also means misunderstanding/misrememberings can't happen, because the student will correct them.

I found staff to be quite frank with ds1 present.

Talking to staff at our place they appreciate having pupils present as it encourages clarity and honesty on all sides. So - for example - a parent raises a query about a disciplinary issue and how it was dealt with, and that their child has complained about being 'unreasonably victimised'. The member of staff can and does say exactly what happened/what the child said. e.g. So while you were simulating oral sex with your pencil case ... Because you called xxx a "fat lezza" and then sit back and watch while the student goes bright red and the parent's jaw hits the floor in astonishment and shock, as they gradually realise that their little angel maybe doesn't always behave impeccably in school and doesn't always tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth at home.

As a parent I hope never to need such a conversation at a parents evening and I'm sure you won't frogs, but it's just an illustration of the importance of having the student there.

For the first time at primary school last night, the yr6s were allowed and encouraged to sit in.
DD was a little embarrassed and sat there hiding under her hat with a silly grin on her face:0

I'm abroad but the first parents meeting for dd's school I went alone as that's how I thought it should be and I agree that information relayed through the parent somehow has less impact as dd took some of it the wrong way and thought the teacher didn't like her. The 2nd meeting was alot better because I took her and she came out very pleased to se ethat the teacher did have some nice and some helpful things to say.

Ds goes to grammar school and they also said to bring the dc to the meetings. Must be a new thing as I never went to any of mine as a child.

My DCs go to a state comp.

Recently, we attended my DD's (Y7) parents' evening, and I would say that there was a child with every parent there.

With my DS (Y9), we've never forced him to come with us as he says he would find the experience mortifying. But, this year, he is definitely coming as he has to choose options shortly after and we need complete honesty and no misunderstanding about what would, or wouldn't, suit him.

I also agree with the example that Roisin gave as to a perfect example of why it's a good thing.

I would say at primary level, definitely not! (apart from in Y6 possibly).

Yes
'we would love to see our student and celebrate their success with their parents'

or of course...publicly humiliate them if they are being pitas

lol at roisin's example

At our school the now have a mentor day near the begining of the school year. Pupils are supposed to attend with parents and we only get to speak to form tutor who gives 'feedback' from class teachers.

Later in the year there are the tradtional parents evenings where we can choose to see suject teachers. We normally do these without DC. We did take DS4 with us to the last one because it involved GCSE choices and we wanted him to hear what teachers had to say.

When it comes to years 10 & 11 & post 16 the DC I think needs to be there.

DD is Y7 at a grammar. All girls are expected to attend. I think they should be there as it is their education and they are old enough to take some responsibility for it. The teachers discussed with dd how she felt she was doing and vice versa. I think it all made her feel very grown up!

I took them from year 9-I think that it is important that they hear what is said-it seems silly to then have to go home and relay it all. The new Head expects them to attend once they get to public exam stage.(maybe he is the same about the younger ones-I don't know).