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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

responses for when someone calls you 'gay' - yr 7

66 replies

MaryAnnSingleton · 30/01/2009 15:36

Ds has had a bit of a week or two with various issues surrounding making friends etc in yr 7..he is shy and quiet but this week coming home from school he got chatting to another boy in his tutor group, only to have the moment spoiled by some other boy in his year calling him 'gay'
Now this has been covered lots of times before on MN but ds is anxious to hear words of wisdom ! (I told him MN will have sensible advice !) I said to ignore them and that the name callers are foolish boys lacking in imagination and also that being gay is not something to be ashamed of etc etc - also aware that gay can mean lots of other things these days...

OP posts:

MaryAnnSweetheart · 12/02/2009 11:22

thanks summer, that's what I suggested to ds !

MrsGrahamBell · 12/02/2009 11:34

Agree with summer re general term - was horrified when I heard one of my DC saying it to the other DH asked him what he meant by that and the perpetrator said ' it means he's rubbish' - it seems to have acquired that meaning among small boys - don't know about year 7s?

MaryAnnSweetheart · 12/02/2009 12:18

yep, think it's just a general term of dismissiveness common in yr 7 !

Thandeka · 01/03/2009 11:18

I am a teacher working on a project tackling homophobia. Although the term may have moved on it still needs stamping out as equating being "gay" to something that is useless or rubbish is propagating a culture of homophobia.

I would hope that DS's school will be challenging it- but am aware many schools don't.

Because of this work the kids often ask me if I am gay- my standard response is "would it matter if I were?" to which they always blush and go erm no!

Maybe try something like that?

Oops just realised I am upping an old post- hope it was sorted.

Original poster

MaryAnnSingleton · 01/03/2009 13:14

thanks Thandeka - it's all helpful !

OP posts:

Chellesgirl · 06/03/2009 22:21

shootfromthehip - thats a good one.

MadamDeathstare · 06/03/2009 22:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chellesgirl · 06/03/2009 22:37

I think being in the first 3 years of secondary school are the hardest. especially when you wanna make freinds.

I recon the boy who called your DS 'Gay' is most likely thinking HE might be gay' and so has to express it someway.

Theres a lot of peer pressure when you have a class around you and the 'class clown' needs to make a comment about somebody. But he couldnt say anything about anyone else cause hes already done those for the past 500days. So he picks on DS.

DS needs to stand up to him, but not physically. He should carry on talking to his new freind as this will hopefully prove helpful in years to come when he needs that helping hand with a school project/ or a partner for D&T.

i remeber being 'bullied' by girls who I used to be freinds with. I walked away from them when they started to bully a younger child. I told them they were all bitches and never spoke to them again. I had no freinds all year as they were the 'popular' ones.

I ended up making new freinds slowly but school life was crap. I decided by yr9 that Id had enough so I started 'bullying' the bullies.

I helped out the young ones that were being called fat or ugly. I managed to get a rep for myself and do you think that these girls stopped spreading shit about me - well would they dare! Mums came and thanked me as thier child had been going through hell for the past 6 months. Even though I was called to the headmasters office to explain why i chased a girl up stairs, and why I stuck chewing gum in the girl who was calling the little girl ugly? I just explained to my Head of year and he understood and let me off everytime...

Chellesgirl · 06/03/2009 22:39

I meant 'stuck chewing gum in the hair of the girl'

Chellesgirl · 06/03/2009 22:40

Oh yeah and why I tipped her bag out over the whole 'bag drop area' under the library, because i thought she needed to learn how it felt to be bullied.

Chellesgirl · 06/03/2009 22:43

I think children need to see that going through these life events like being called names will help them later on in life.

I would never call someone names if I didnt like it to be done to me. I only ever did back what these bullies had done to myself and other children.

MargaretMountford · 06/03/2009 23:20

poor ds was called loner boy the other day, but actually he seemed ok about it..I think it's a stage that happens and is part of growing up and something to learn to handle as Chellesgirl suggests - it's tough though

Chellesgirl · 06/03/2009 23:49

it is tough for the child, but as well for the parents. you just wanna go down to the school gates, wait for that child to come out and drag him by the ear to his parents and suggest they give him a the good old belt.

MargaretMountford · 07/03/2009 08:32

yes, sometimes I do feel like that !

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 07/03/2009 08:37

What about "Methinks one doth protest too much, you wouldn't have anything to hide wou you?"

MargaretMountford · 07/03/2009 18:26

yep, but not sure ds would manage all that,in the heat of the moment !

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