What do your Year 7 kids do after school when you’re working?

[welshweasel]

DS currently in Year 5 so needing to think about school options for secondary. He is currently in an independent school, where he’s dropped off for breakfast at 7.30, then picked up any time after 5.15 having done extracurricular clubs, can stay later and have tea if needed. It’s worked brilliantly as DH and I both work full time out of the house. We’ve not had to worry about ferrying to activities and the routine has worked well.

We’re not in a position to keep him there for secondary (fees have doubled since he started there) so looking at other options. Our catchment school is 1.5 miles away, so he’d leave home to walk there not too long after we leave for work, so that would be ok. They finish at 2.50pm so he’d presumably walk home then be alone until we get home with our youngest just before 6.

Anyone in a similar position? What do your kids do? How do you stop them from just sitting on an Xbox for hours, which would be his choice?!

The other option open to us would be state boarding, which would get round the supervision issue and ensure he can do lots of extracurriculars still (loves sport and music) but he’d be away 4 nights a week and I’d miss him!

Anyone care to share how they have navigated this issue? Thanks

There are usually after school clubs, DD stays late twice a week and gets home about 5pm from hers.

Very little in the way of after school clubs, they seem to do a lot at lunchtime! Maybe one or two a week but still done by 3.45

I’d suggest you arrange a routine where he gets (for example) 15 minutes to have a snack and a rest, then does his homework (maybe 1.5 hours?) which will take him to nearly 5pm, then that gives him a limited amount of relaxing time. Obviously that will move later if he does an after school club

Also DSs school has a drop in homework club. You could see if the school has similar?

Homework, watch tv, snacks, sometimes go to a friends house.

Sadly no homework club. I would hope he’d do his homework unsupervised but think in reality the lure of screens would put paid to that!

Where do you live where you can just get ‘state boarding’? Why on earth would this be tax payer funded? I have so many questions

anyway it’s healthier for him to be at home playing Xbox than living away from his family. My year 7 is exhausted after school and actually needs the downtime. So she watches Tv. It’s fine.

i was curious about state boarding too!

can you just take the controller with you to work? He needs to learn to be responsible and manage his own wants and responsibilities tho

is there no flexibility in your or dads jobs that you can’t come home early or unpaid a couple of times a week? I wouldn’t want my kids being alone so much especially after school when they should be able to debrief in their day

Being at home aged 11 afterschool is pretty standard. I was teaching by the time mine were this age but still it was 4.30 earliest before I was home.

Does he have time home alone now? Walk to local shop, round to a mate? If not I would start to introduce that.

Many schools have an open library at least if no specific clubs, till 4.30 or so. Is that possible? Could he go to a friends house for a bit to break up the time? Is there any way either of you can finish earlier some days, again to break up long stretches of time? But tbh it will be fine.

I would advise him to stick to a schedule (30 mins to change, snack, relax then settle down to homework) but not be surprised if he does just watch screens. I wouldn’t worry about that - a few detentions from late homework and he will mend his ways

Mine comes in, gets changed, makes herself a snack, does her homework then watches TV. Sometimes goes to a friend’s house after school and I pick her up on my way home, sometimes a friend will come home with her.

Mine have a snack and then they do game or watch TV - they've been at school all day I don't mind a bit of downtime. It's social too, their friends are online doing the same. In the better weather they'll meet friends, play football, go on bike rides or to the park.

I might leave them a little more with a small job like laying laundry away or peel potatoes for dinner.

Many older children have to be at home for an hour or 2 until their parents get home from work. They can debrief over dinner.

State boarding schools exist. Much cheaper than independent schools. Often near army bases or in very rural areas. https://www.goodschoolsguide.co.uk/uk-schools/advice/state-boarding-schools

Can he go to the local library for some of it OP? That’s what I did at that age. I read so many great books. He could get his homework done there too.

I think by the start of High School, they need a bit of downtime and to start to be in charge of their own time more. Mine walk home with friends, sometimes via the park and sometimes via a friends house, have snacks, generally chill out (yes, with screens - but we talk to them a lot about how much screen time is too much).

They both do sports / dance twice a week (and at weekends) but that tends to be later in the evening so we do drops offs/ picks ups after work.

As long as their homework is done and they’re getting regular exercise (which you’ll need to facilitate), I don’t think you need to overthink it too much.

@onmylastnerveseriously@KarmenPQZ state boarding is a hybrid. The education is state funded but the boarding is private.
essentially the parents are only paying for the boarding aspect (not the tuition) whereas in a standard independent boarding school parents pay for both.
the taxpayer is only paying for the education side as they would any other child.

What kind of school finishes at 2.50 pm? I know its many years since was at school but we were there til 4. I used to get home long before my parents and brother. I would try to get my homework out of the way first, then watch tv until they came home. We didn't have xboxes in my day, though my childminder had a Sega megadrive!

All the Secondary schools I’m aware of finish between half 2 and 3.15

My DD finishes at 4 but her school is definitely an outlier. I don’t know any around here that finish before 3 though.

Being home alone is normal at secondary school age.

You'll probably find that he hangs out with friends after school and therefore isn't home as early as you think he will be. I would definitely suggest that he preps dinner (working up to cooking dinner) at least one day a week.

I'd also say pick your battles and if he does spend most of his after school time on xbox, is it really such a big deal? Encourage evening clubs, so that he will work out for himself that he needs to do homework earlier if he wants to go to the club as well.

DC's school finishes at 3, but they also start at 8.15, which is much earlier than schools used to start.

When he's settled in and got to know people he might want to hang out with friends after school - in the park, in a cafe, browsing the shops, in the public library, at someone's house.

There was an open air pool near my school so in the summer term we often went swimming after school.

Until your DS has demonstrated that he doesn't want to get his homework done and submit it on time, I would give him some trust that he will self regulate. I think most children learn to self regulate homework and breaks after the first couple of weeks, especially if they've had their first few punishments for failure.

My DD is at a school that has state boarding - a rural school - though she gets the bus and isn't home till 4.30. DH is at home as he's retired.
However some of the Y7 who used to go to her primary school went to the after school club for an hour or so and then walk the younger sibling home.
We use parental controls on phone, gaming and TV so if they are home alone I check their online work and then turn things on.