Pregnant teacher struggling with Year 9 behaviour: how should I handle Monday?

[Heellllooo]

Hello, I’m 13 weeks pregnant and work
in very challenging secondary school in Northern England. I have a year 9 class that have been horrendous all year and I have reported something every single lesson, had conversations with head of year and removed several students. There is one particular student who consistently disrupts my lessons and is incredibly rude, across the school she often has her sanctions removed and has not been suspended for behaviour that other students have been e.g swearing and walking out of lesson. This week I was very tired, stressed from other things at home and obviously pregnant. That girl in particular was being her usual self. I was trying to remove her and she was refusing. I said “get out of room now”, turned away and I had started crying. Another student said “miss is crying.”
I walked out found the on call teacher and was sent home. I have asked for something to be arranged for that girl going forward and am due back in school Monday. Advice - do I acknowledge this with students? Do I tell them I’m pregnant? Do I get signed off for stress? Thank you for any advice.

You can ask SLT for a risk assessment. I’d also ask if they have a policy on pregnancy in the workplace. May form part of the Health and Safety Policy.
Ask your union rep for help and support if needed. Other unions will have similar info but this is from the NEU.
You absolutely shouldn’t need to be sharing personal information with students.

https://neu.org.uk/advice/your-rights-work/family-rights/maternity-rights/being-pregnant-work

Thank you, I have done all of that. I’m more wondering in the classroom what’s best, acknowledge what happened or just carry on? I know some students will ask if I’m ok etc.

Should have said sorry that if this group have been challenging all year, have you had support or advice with behaviour management? From the SENCO or SLT?
Does the pupil have a behaviour management plan? Some may be deliberately trying to be sent out of class. Good luck.

Can you ignore some lower level behaviours? Typed previous post without reading yours.

In my experience kids won't bring it up. Do you think you can be calm and manage the situation well? If they do mention it, thank them (most kids will be genuine) and say you're ok now. No need to give further details, it's more reassurance.

I'd make sure you aren't teaching the girl who caused you the problem.

Log all of this in your risk assessment, keep a log of it yourself and speak to your union if needs be.

They do want to be sent out yes, but cause absolute havoc beforehand and often argue about being sent out. The two worst pupils, you are supposed to be call for support but it never arrives. In the meantime they become much worse. I have spoken to SLT about them but in terms of support it has just been “follow behaviour policy” and left to cope.

Thank you that makes sense. I would like it in my risk assessment that she causes me repeated stress and anxiety so other arrangements should be made and have brought this up with the head, HR and head of year. Union rep said I can’t exactly refuse to teach a student, but I feel I have so much evidence of issues every week that it could be enough?

Have tried this and she just escalates quicker. I really don’t understand her. In some lessons she is great. I feel like she hates me but HOY says she doesn’t and is quite vocal about who she hates. Throughout the year she has stayed in two lessons for the full hour. She does have ADHD but she is also very rude. Eg when I try and help her “don’t stand near me or try to talk to me, I don’t like you”

If the behaviour of that class is so bad, your CAM needs to look at shifting a couple of students between classes on year 9. If you have a nice top set, a poorly behaved student can be moved in so there is no-one one to bounce off. That can help settle them down.

If you health is struggling you need to put you and your baby first. You need to see your GP and be signed off and go back only when you are fit and well and other the class is removed or certain individuals are and there is more support for sanctions.

I’ll be honest, in this school there aren’t many “nice top sets”. I think moving her, she would still find some way to destroy the lesson, her parents regularly ring in and shout at staff/ threaten violence and refuse to acknowledge that their child is the problem.

Get support but you also need support with behaviour management. Who can you learn from in school? It’s hard when you are stuck in the thick of it but it’s not fixed that she will be awful and you will struggle. Have you had some facilitated restoratives with her? Have you found out her interests? Connection is easier than opposition and gives you more leverage ultimately.
Really who cares if she hates you or if she can’t manage her emotions - it doesn’t make any big difference to you but approach her with understanding and humour. Always be polite - “I would love you to have a good lesson tomorrow but now you are on step whatever and have to leave…” never “Get out now” type comments.
Acknowledge the tears and explain you were ill or pregnant whatever you want to share and be clear that you feel much better. You can’t cry - if you wouldn’t usually see your GP - who can support you. Who brings perspective and humour - which colleagues can help? If it’s a good school people should help. Every teacher has been there and it can be a learning point - what changes to keep you happy and the classes supportive? I teach in a really tough school and am allegedly good with behaviour - in reality I am good at getting to know the children and I am very friendly. It creates a big gap between the ones who like me and the naysayers and it shifts the balance in my favour. I take the work seriously so the kids do to and that gives them a rational for high classroom standards.
If someone is very rude I am more likely to say ‘goodness’ and pull a funny face than to do anything else as the message is that this is a surprise akin to a toddlers tantrum and we will come back to issue later. At the most I will calmly repeat a sanction ‘ahh well sadly you will have to … again so that means… yes there is nothing more to discuss now you will be … as I said you will … we will discuss later when you are calmer” No justification, discussion just implacable confidence.
it’s a tough job OP and the early weeks of pregnancy suck - it’s should all get easier!

Hello, I have tried a lot of this tbh. Spoken to and observed other teachers. I’ve been to watch her play sports, I’ve spoken to form
tutor and tried to contact home. None of this has made a difference to her attitude to me. Others in the class I have managed to turn as I am very good at building relationships and some even stay at the end to say “I don’t understand why she’s still so awful to you.”
I’m genuinely at a loss. The only reason I mention that I think she hates me is because it’s been so long now and no let up that it seems like the only conclusion? I know she doesn’t like the subject and doesn’t want to take it for GCSE so that can be a factor and is much more sporty.

Well if the class is with you just grey rock her - don’t give her any energy. I think with the niceness you have to have an edge too. You don’t sound confident and it’s the confidence that makes classes feel contained. Don’t let one tricky child take any from you - it is them not you!
I was thinking after I posted that although nice I am also quite fierce - kids know which version they want to see. Guess at least you won’t see her again in the classroom after the next half term. work on upping your self confidence, your eyebrow raise and don’t feel like it’s personal. You could remind her of an aunty she hates, make her feel inferior by some measure you would never think of, who knows…

Thank you, I think that is more the route I need to go now. I have managed it with all my classes and I think that’s why this one knocked me so much. I see how much control she has across the school, eg getting her sanctions removed, doesn’t sit detentions and I guess it knocks my confidence?

Tie them all up and put them in the store cupboard. 😆 🤣. I honestly feel for you with just being a teacher, must be a very hard job keeping them all in line, never mind adding a pregnancy into the mix. ❤️

Just get angry - that isSLT letting you down (or some staff knowing there are serious extenuating issues that haven’t been shared). Your confidence comes from the generality not the specific teens. The less you care the more likely she is to behave!

In fact have underlining how non intimidatory she is by talking about her like a toddler missing sleep. She is overtired, hangry or a grumpalumpa. Take the narrative back!

You’re mixing the two issues. Pregnancy is not really relevant here - it sounds like you’ve always struggled with her.

What’s your behaviour policy? Follow it to the letter. Welcome her, the first time she steps out of line, ok X that’s your first warning, ok that’s your second warning, ok now we need you to leave. Don’t argue, don’t stoop to her level with emotive ‘get out now’, just we need you to leave now. If she won’t leave, move your class (pre-empt this by knowing what rooms are free at the time you’re teaching). I would aim to get this done pretty early in the lesson if you can.

What is your curriculum leader doing to support you? We would move this child for a lesson or two to give the class some respite.

As for what you say to the class, they probably won’t remember or mention it. Just say oh yes I wasn’t feeling well, or oh yes it’s frustrating when I know most of you want to get on and we can’t.

Year 9 are horrible in options subjects they’re not taking at this time of year - we don’t tell them if they’ve got their option choices until much later in the year for this very reason.

Not long til half term and then it’s almost summer and it sounds like you won’t have to deal with her again.

Haha thank you everyone for your support 😊 Yes I suppose the pregnancy isn’t actually the main issue, she has been a problem all year. SLT put things in place like on call but they never materialize and it is part of the union issues, aswell as sanctions being removed. Curriculum leader does naff all, barely see her and she only teaches year 10-13 so the kids wouldn’t even know who she is. Apart from being pregnant anyway, I won’t be at this school next year so it’s a relief in some ways. Just need to survive 7 ish weeks.

This. Focus on those who want to learn and ignore her childish behaviour.
and don’t stoop to her lever of rudeness. ‘get out of room now’ is a rude way to talk. Keep i control and your temper in check or these rude kids will feed off it like animals at a trough.

I’d ring in sick and get signed off by my GP for a few weeks. You will hopefully feel a bit less tired in your pregnancy by then.

i understand that, just want to clarify I wouldn’t normally speak like that but it was about the fourth time of her refusing to go and I was on the brink of tears.

I’d like that to be the last resort, I am a good teacher and have other classes that appreciate me and work hard. If there isn’t a resolution I will get signed off x

Then if she refuses to go (tbh sending kids out is not really a punishment as that’s usually what they want), you note it, ignore her completely and you get on with teaching. Then you fill in an incident report later on and report to your SLT.
Being rude back undermines you, wastes lesson time and shows you up in front of the decent students. Teachers should not be speaking like that.